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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neo pronouns

174 replies

Sparklybutold · 28/09/2022 23:49

Last year - colleague was they/them, now per/pers.

So, are they a load of crap and will hopefully disappear soon or time for change and respect for peoples choices.

OP posts:
Sparklybutold · 29/09/2022 01:49

@Nyfluff

I can't Thankyou enough for this. This is so much more than I could have articulated.

OP posts:
Sparklybutold · 29/09/2022 01:49

@WallaceinAnderland

Different opinions.

OP posts:
Sparklybutold · 29/09/2022 01:51

@Pixiedust1234

medium.com/matthews-place/the-history-of-neopronouns-366b1fee48c4

Apparently some of them go back to the 1800s

OP posts:
EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 29/09/2022 01:55

I can't be arsed with it

WalkthisWayUK · 29/09/2022 02:02

To all those who think we have to use pronouns to be ‘respectful’.

What are we actually respecting?

We are being asked to invalidate our own beliefs. Do we believe in ‘they’ or that a he can be a she? Really actually biologically?

Because we gave an inch. I ‘respected’ pronouns once upon a time. Before I realise this was power dominance. You MUST buy into my ideology. If you don’t you will be socially punished! Or even in court or lose your job as some have found it.

I respect peoples right to be who they are, dress how they want, have their own ideology, prefer to call themselves whatever they want. I do NOT have to ‘affirm’ and therefore agree with their ideology.

PerfectPainter · 29/09/2022 02:22

I don't really respect pronouns that require me to carry a list with me just so I can remember them all.

I've no idea what pronouns people call me as I'm not usually there to hear.

spookyjupy · 29/09/2022 03:09

this is an easy one.
tell them you understand and will now be called jey or jet only
play them at their own game 🎮

Mumtobabyhavoc · 29/09/2022 03:13

WalkthisWayUK · 29/09/2022 02:02

To all those who think we have to use pronouns to be ‘respectful’.

What are we actually respecting?

We are being asked to invalidate our own beliefs. Do we believe in ‘they’ or that a he can be a she? Really actually biologically?

Because we gave an inch. I ‘respected’ pronouns once upon a time. Before I realise this was power dominance. You MUST buy into my ideology. If you don’t you will be socially punished! Or even in court or lose your job as some have found it.

I respect peoples right to be who they are, dress how they want, have their own ideology, prefer to call themselves whatever they want. I do NOT have to ‘affirm’ and therefore agree with their ideology.

Tou are respecting how someone wants to be identified, therefore validating them as a person. This dies not require you to suspend or alter your beliefs. It is simply about respecting one's wishes. Nothing more is required.

ChagSameachDoreen · 29/09/2022 05:05

WagathaChristieMystery · 28/09/2022 23:55

I don’t really understand why there’s so many pronouns, but I do think it’s important to respect others’ choices and help them feel ‘seen’ and valued, so I’m happy to call my colleagues whatever they want to be called really.

Have you seen the guy who is pretending to be a woman and wearing massive fake fetish boobs to teach high school students in Canada? Do you respect his choices and his desire to be "included"? Because that's where all this aggressive inclusion leads.

ChagSameachDoreen · 29/09/2022 05:06

Sparklybutold · 29/09/2022 00:21

Did just cole across this in my googling which I thought was interesting in terms of perspective and insight.

‘Many people have argued that neopronouns relating to a theme such as animals or mystic creatures are comforting for neurodivergent people to use. This is because neurodivergent people, especially those on the autistic spectrum, tend to have trouble understanding and relating to societal norms and social constructs. Therefore, since gender has been found to be a social construct, they may have a complicated relationship with their gender identity.’

This is fucking offensive. I'm neurodivergent but I know I'm not a bloody unicorn.

ChaToilLeam · 29/09/2022 05:17

Self indulgent, attention seeking nonsense. Even worse are those who claim to be “fluid”’ so they are always changing pronouns simply to continually wrong foot others.

It’s not for anyone to dictate how others refer to them when they are not present. We desperately need some adults in the room instead of pandering to these childish behaviours.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 29/09/2022 05:19

ChaToilLeam · 29/09/2022 05:17

Self indulgent, attention seeking nonsense. Even worse are those who claim to be “fluid”’ so they are always changing pronouns simply to continually wrong foot others.

It’s not for anyone to dictate how others refer to them when they are not present. We desperately need some adults in the room instead of pandering to these childish behaviours.

This. All of this.

autienotnaughty · 29/09/2022 05:24

Why care so much. You be you and leave others to themselves.

nancydroo · 29/09/2022 05:26

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 29/09/2022 01:55

I can't be arsed with it

Me neither

Mumtobabyhavoc · 29/09/2022 05:28

ChagSameachDoreen · 29/09/2022 05:05

Have you seen the guy who is pretending to be a woman and wearing massive fake fetish boobs to teach high school students in Canada? Do you respect his choices and his desire to be "included"? Because that's where all this aggressive inclusion leads.

Googled this after reading your post. Hmmm. Made me smile; not my idea of a good look; but not my body; not my choice. What makes you so concerned and angry about this?

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 29/09/2022 05:32

Googled this after reading your post. Hmmm. Made me smile; not my idea of a good look; but not my body; not my choice. What makes you so concerned and angry about this?

I hope you're joking. Teaching children like that is perverse. That man should not be allowed anywhere near children.

junipermarten · 29/09/2022 05:43

ChagSameachDoreen · 29/09/2022 05:06

This is fucking offensive. I'm neurodivergent but I know I'm not a bloody unicorn.

Yes. I am also neurodiverse and I too find this offensive.

I am GC and have always known I'm a woman. I am sick of hearing in hushed tones how NDs are more likely to be trans/TRAs/sexual fetishists etc etc. Just like NTs, we are not one homogeneous group funnily enough.

zen1 · 29/09/2022 05:44

Sparklybutold · 29/09/2022 00:21

Did just cole across this in my googling which I thought was interesting in terms of perspective and insight.

‘Many people have argued that neopronouns relating to a theme such as animals or mystic creatures are comforting for neurodivergent people to use. This is because neurodivergent people, especially those on the autistic spectrum, tend to have trouble understanding and relating to societal norms and social constructs. Therefore, since gender has been found to be a social construct, they may have a complicated relationship with their gender identity.’

Absolute bollocks. Four out of five of my immediate family are diagnosed with ASD. We all find the thought of being compelled to use pronouns other than those which refer to the sex of the person being discussed stressful as if we are being made to be complicit in an untruth.

ScotInExile · 29/09/2022 05:46

Mumtobabyhavoc · 29/09/2022 05:28

Googled this after reading your post. Hmmm. Made me smile; not my idea of a good look; but not my body; not my choice. What makes you so concerned and angry about this?

The concern is that he is openly using school children to participate in his fetish and the children who have raised concerns are being silenced and told to be more tolerant. It is highly inappropriate and is a massive safeguarding concern. If he was wearing regular sized prosthetics there would likely be no issue, it is the fact that these are oversized pornified boobs with large protruding nipples that is completely inappropriate for a classroom. Female teachers have been reprimanded and had their clothing choices disapproved for having less on show than this pervert. His choice of prosthetics is motivated by sexual fantasy and it should not be allowed to be displayed in a school setting.

And this is not even mentioning the safety aspect of operating dangerous equipment with a massive and unnecessary obstacle in front of him. How can he even see past the boobs to know he isn't about to cut off a finger?

GrabbyGabby · 29/09/2022 05:53

WagathaChristieMystery · 28/09/2022 23:55

I don’t really understand why there’s so many pronouns, but I do think it’s important to respect others’ choices and help them feel ‘seen’ and valued, so I’m happy to call my colleagues whatever they want to be called really.

What a load of arse. Seeing someone and valuing them has fuck all to do with pronouns. "hey jayne, how are you? How was your trip home? Thanks for doing x, it was really helpful and well received."

Using made up nonsense pronouns isnt valuing somone, it is obeying them. Virtue signalling, grammar mangling, speech compelling twaddle.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 29/09/2022 05:58

Why? Is the teaching awful? What exactly is perverse? I understand you are objecting to the person's self-expression. I still don't understand your anger.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 29/09/2022 06:06

Too much to respond to, but I take your point.
I don't know about fetishizing or how the students are in danger.
Your last paragraph had me lol.

5zeds · 29/09/2022 06:25

Many people have argued that neopronouns relating to a theme such as animals or mystic creatures are comforting for neurodivergent people to use. This is because neurodivergent people, especially those on the autistic spectrum, tend to have trouble understanding and relating to societal norms and social constructs. Therefore, since gender has been found to be a social construct, they may have a complicated relationship with their gender identity.’
what a load of half arsed crap. Who are these “many people” and what on earth is their background that they think that difficulty understanding pronouns is in any way connected to difficulty understanding sex or the difference between humans and animals??? You might just as well proclaim that many visually impaired people love the beach because they wear sunglasses.

I would suggest that there are more autistic teens being recruited to gender confusion because they are vulnerable and often very lonely. It’s absolutely shameful that they are being exploited in this way and it is not comforting at a to be given conflicting information about what is truth VP and what is feeling.

mamabear715 · 29/09/2022 06:26

I cba with it either.

MrAutumnal · 29/09/2022 06:35

Feel like I fell into the wrong thread. Mind blown. Never heard of this - is this a thing and I just don’t know as not on SM apart from MN?