14 yr old dating a 22 yr old. AIBU to think this is comcerning?

[saffy56]

My son is concerned as his female friend who is 14 is dating a 22 yr old man. He has just showed me her tik tok video and it is quite concerning.

AIBU to report it to school or get him too? Or is it none of our business and she can date who she wants.

Maybe because the 22 year old is an adult and the 14 year old isn't?
The 14 year old may think they know what they are doing but they are still very vulnerable and quite frankly what 22 year in their right mind would think this was acceptable?

Have you got teenaged daughters @Marvellousmadness ?

Yawn

No he is not a pedophile

I really wish people would at least try to understand the definitions of words before using them

He’s a potential hebephile. Does the label really matter?

The 22 year old man is not dating the 14 year old child , he's a paedophile that's abudung her.

He needs his bits cutting off.
I can't believe some comments on here from imbeciles who think it's ok, what kind of sickos think this is okay? A grown man and a child? İt's illegal. What the hell does a 22 year old see in a 14 year old child? Other than in a predatory way. I hadn't even gone through puberty at 14. Jesus Christ the girl need shell and support and this man needs locking up.

This needs reporting. ASAP

Well done OP for reporting this, it must have been difficult and admire you for bringing this to the attention of safeguarding. Clearly this girl is very vulnerable and this vile specimen of a man is taking full advantage.

Anyone who thought the OP should not report this, or think it's okay that the girl is old enough bloody needs to get educated and stop being a nice enabler. Turning a blind eye is exactly why this thing happens and why these perpetrators get away with their disgusting actions.

Jesus wept

As someone else pointed out earlier, this kind of attitude is exactly how those girls in Rotherham were abused for so long after police and social services were aware of what was going on. The police said the same things about them.

Wow 🙄

A poster was complaining about why people were still posting here as the OP has made a report. That's as may be and good on the OP for doing so.

However, the later posts are useful to throw light on some of the appalling attitude of a few posters.

Shameful comment!

I recall this type of thing going on 30 years ago, and people turned a blind eye. It wasn't right then and it most certainly isn't right now. Haven't people learned anything?! Yes, we all thought we knew it all at 14/15 - but we really didn't.

Hopefully now this has been flagged to safeguarding a clearer picture will emerge and appropriate action can be taken.

Mentions of school days in the 80s does remind me that when I was 14, lots of girls in my year had boyfriends (mostlyof a similar age, some later teens). Quite a lot of them were sexually active. One girl in my class left to have a baby when she was 14. Her boyfriend was 17. She was due to return to school the next academic year but became pregnant again.
I can also remember a couple of girls when I was in the 6th form (we were all 16/17). Both were dating men in their mid 30s. At the time it seemed very glamorous and grown up. Now I look back and can't see how we weren't concerned.

@stillvicarinatutuIt's sad to read what you said: "At 15 . My 21 year old future hubby was all that stood between me and living on the street and without him I know I wouldn't have been here now ."

I've known plenty of people younger than me who've left home at a young age, following neglect and/or abuse, but chosen to be their friend, and try to help them secure housing etc, and very deliberately chosen not to form a sexual relationship with them. Even when I was in my early 20s, it would have felt a bit sleazy to have got together with someone under 18, and so I didn't do it. I don't understand why your now-hubby or any other grown man felt the need to have sex with you when you were under 16.

I'm truly sorry to read what you went through as a child and am glad that your life's improved since.