14 yr old dating a 22 yr old. AIBU to think this is comcerning?

[saffy56]

My son is concerned as his female friend who is 14 is dating a 22 yr old man. He has just showed me her tik tok video and it is quite concerning.

AIBU to report it to school or get him too? Or is it none of our business and she can date who she wants.

I'm too scared to google what that is.

To be honest I can't tell these days.
Most teen boys look a lot older, as well as the girls. Perhaps she skips school.

I'm not defending the 22 year old at all,but he could be completely in the unknown and naive himself. Obviously yes it should be reported but perhaps not jump the gun that he is a paedophile.

@ImJustMadAboutSaffron it's someone who's attracted to mid to late teens only apparently.I had to look it up.

@Ihatecocomelon I'm sure you'd be able to tell of you spent more than 10 minutes with a teenager

When I was 15, I had a 23 year old boyfriend. I honestly don’t know why neither of our parents had an issue with this.

This was 1995 - but still, that age difference would have been a HUGE red flag. I ended up finding underage porn in his locked briefcase (years after) as we had an 8 year relationship

Please report it. Please.

Definitely report this. At 22 it’s completely unacceptable to date a 14yr old school girl

It's the duty of EVERY adult to safeguard children.
Of course report it! Social services, or police.
She's a child. He's a full grown man

I’m glad this is one of the few things my government gets right. I would be calling the police.

the least you can do is call social services.

report it to police, ss, school, parents...

It's abuse.

My daughter is 14 and even the thought of a 22 looking at her makes my tummy turn 😪

Well it's rape if they have sex as being a child she cannot give consent no matter if she says yes to it.

Some teenagers yes. I've met some extremely mature and older than their years teenagers too.

I'd just like this to be a very serious lesson learnt and not another groomer. Perhaps I'm the naive one.

It's not "dating" it's grooming, you absolutely need to report it.

Anyone that would see that as innocent is either very naive or deluded, a 22 year old will absolutely be expecting sex or sexual favours & young girls can easily feel pressured.

Op is there any way you could say what was concerning?

This attitude is why predators get away with it.

Absolutely report this to the school OP.

Wtf!!!! She's a child. If is everyone's business. Either trolling or you have some seriously fucked up views

Are you actually joking. Wow. Cannot believe you are thinking of not reporting it

Safeguarding children is EVERYONES responsibility.

If it was my 14 yr old she wouldn’t be “dating” anyone until she was 16
a sweetheart at school but not dating outside.

And people like you are ABSOLUTELY the problem. She's a 14 year old CHILD who needs help to protect her from a predatory adult. What part of that is confusing to you?

You want to know if you are BU in turning a blind eye to a paedophile? I genuinely cannot believe you are even asking this. You do realise he is a paedophile yeah?? And that not reporting a 14 year old being abused by a paedophile would be terrible. Not only should you be reporting to the school, you should be reporting to the police... don't even want to think of what they will find on his phone/laptop 🤮

Just to add, I would be furious if this was my dd and a grown adult knew about it and kept it quiet.

If you don't know her parents, find out who they are and tell them ASAP. I'd start with them and then escalate to SS if necessary.

They probably have no idea and will be appalled (and contact SS themselves).
A 14-year-old isn't mature enough to recognize that this is abuse. What a disgusting man.

I suspect if it was his 14 year old daughter your husband would have a completely different view.

Many teens think they know it all which is why it’s important for all adults to safeguard them.

Yes you need to report it.

What does the ticktock thing show?

Just to correct some other posts, at her age, if they are sexually active, it would only be deemed rape by police if she reported it as rape. If she says she consented to intercourse, or in fact denied it happened, its very unlikely they would take action unless she said she would give a statement that they did have sex (or they found out in other ways such as from his or her phone records where there might have been discussion about it)

If she was under 13 then its automatically 'sexual activity with a child under 13'.

But there are also other factors involve such as whether he could reasonably know she was 14 and not over 16.

Do her parents not know? Have they met in real life or this is an online relationship?

Some teenagers yes. I've met some extremely mature and older than their years teenagers too.

He is more than half her LIFE older than her. He knows.

I had 20+ yo men sniffing around when I was a similar age. They knew too.

If they haven’t had sex it’s likely that they will soon. A 22yo isn’t going to wait indefinitely. I think that you should report the clip to the police as soon as possible.