14 yr old dating a 22 yr old. AIBU to think this is comcerning?

[saffy56]

My son is concerned as his female friend who is 14 is dating a 22 yr old man. He has just showed me her tik tok video and it is quite concerning.

AIBU to report it to school or get him too? Or is it none of our business and she can date who she wants.

No, it specifically isn't her business, as the law considers her incapable of giving consent. So it's a criminal offence, as well as a deeply abhorrent thing to do.

This isn't dating, it's a child protection matter.
You have potential offences of grooming and child sexual exploitation.
Either report to school or social services.

Sorry to derail but it's an honour to have you reply to me.
You are one of the popular mnetters.

I guess you're right though, I try to see things from all perspectives and am rather naive thanks to my aspergers. I do try and see the good in everything/one.

Absolutely report this to the schools designated safeguarding lead.

Please report it. She's a child and he's an adult. It doesn't matter how 'In love or grown up' or whatever she might feel being with this man, he's grooming her.

It is.
WHAT IS CLASSED AS STATUTORY RAPE?
Statutory rape is a form of rape. Rape is when a person has sex with another person without their consent, whether through force or not. That said, in the case of statutory rape, rape is considered to have occurred even if the alleged victim consented to sex with the alleged perpetrator, but the victim was of a certain age.
There are three types of statutory rape in England:
rape of a child under the age of 13
sexual activity with a child over the age of 13 but under the age of 16
offences relating to a child under the age of 18
www.stuartmillersolicitors.co.uk/what-is-statutory-rape/

Straight to SS ! Where are the girl’s parents in all this?

It’s statutory rape in England
WHAT IS CLASSED AS STATUTORY RAPE?
Statutory rape is a form of rape. Rape is when a person has sex with another person without their consent, whether through force or not. That said, in the case of statutory rape, rape is considered to have occurred even if the alleged victim consented to sex with the alleged perpetrator, but the victim was of a certain age.
There are three types of statutory rape in England:
rape of a child under the age of 13
sexual activity with a child over the age of 13 but under the age of 16
offences relating to a child under the age of 18

Tell the safeguarding lead at her school.
FFS don't do nothing.

Decent 22yo men do not have 14yo girlfriends.

And if he thinks she's older (oh aye) he's unknowingly getting a reputation as a groomer amongst the kids at school & their parents. So you're doing him a favour too.

@saffy56 Report. At 22 this man could be an NQT in a classroom. Would you feel the need to ask if it were her teacher and not some random bloke? Of course not.

I was that girl. I slept with an 18 year old at 14, his 31 year old housemate propositioned me (I didn't want to to hurt his feelings by saying no (sounds so stupid now!)
following this, I regularly slept with a 53 year old..I thought i was in control(though fretted i was a 'slag').
its only when my daughter turned 14 I realised exactly how wrong they were,and that I was just a child
Please protect her

Its just semantics, we dont have a named crime of 'statutory rape' in the UK

Its variations of 'sexual activity with a child....'

Oh give over!

She’s a child, he’s an adult, how is it up to her what she does?

Well, there's the small matter of the age of consent, probably some grooming in there for good measure, and normal 22yos do not go sniffing round Y9-age pupils, but sure, yeah, none of your business 🙄

FFS

@Aretheyhavingalaugh you genuinely don't have any concerns that a 14 y/o is in a sexual relationship with a 22y/o?

I would definitely report to the school, but wouldn't encourage my child to. This needs to be taken off the shoulders of your DC. It is everyone's business when a child is being abused. Silence enables this behaviour. Protect her.

Decent 22yo men do not have 14yo girlfriends.

Absolutely agree.

I was that girl too, I had just turned 15 and was dating a 24 year old, my parents allowed it 😞, I was being abused, just didn’t know it to begin with, obviously though he loved me but there’s only one thing a man of that age wants with such a young girl.

Please do report it to the school and/or the girls parents, she is a child and needs protecting.

She's being groomed for abuse (even if the abuse hasn't already started) - report to the school, and the police (they might be aware of him already if he has form for this, the school won't) immediately.

Oh come on now

I'd be informing the school, that's not bloody dating. Apart from grooming there's no other possible reason a 22 year old would want to "date" a 14 years old, I'm mean she still a child and he's a dirty swine .

That is irrelevant, even if she has, it is illegal for him to have sex with her.

I remember when I was 15 and was with a 23yo. I wanted to grow so quickly and ended up stupidly losing my virginity to him (it was rape). I really wished I listened to those who told me how disturbing the whole thing was. He ended up leaving me for an even younger girl.

What you need to ask is what does a 22yo find so attractive about a 14yo? Why are the women is own age group so unappealing?

I would definitely contact the parents if thats possible. I don’t know what the school would be able to do though.

Yes I agree.