To ask how messy your house really is?

[BingBingGoAway]

My life is total chaos. I have 2DS under 4 and I work full time in a job that needs me to check stuff in evenings.

And my life is a total mess. And I mean - not in a classis 'oh it's so disorganised way' - in a unclean bathroom, car is disgusting, kids live on fish fingers way.

I don't understand. Are people doing housework and cooking late at night?

I leave work, pick up the kids, dinner, bath, bed - all of which are usually pretty hectic. Probably one of them will have a tantrum which will result in something getting messed up.

Then eat myself at 8pm or so. And then I watch telly until 9.30pm and then I go to bed to deal with night wakes and 5.30 start.

DH works away a lot of the time. Weekends seem to slip away. Do people manage to do things when they have 2 small DC - I can't leave mine for more than 5 mins really. And the small one just clings to me constantly. He won't let me go.

WHERE IS THE TIME?

I promise you - it's not usual levels of mess. it's making me so stressed. Every where I look there is dust, dirt, random socks.

I think I need to stop looking at Stacy Solomon on Instagram.

Any tips at all? How do I get on top of my life?

I batch cook on a Sunday for the days when I am working (I'm part time)

I try to clean as I go too

Eat with your children is the one thing that stands out to me.

I’ve had a cleaner for many years now. Life saver. It gets easier as the children get older too.

Quite messy. Although not unhygienic.
I've just washed up some pans that have beeb soaking for days and have loads of washing to put away. Haven't dysoned for weeks, although we're a no shoe and pet household which helps. House isn't very big though.
Lone parent with teens who will not work as a team. My younger one has MH issues so I often have to drop chores to be with her for ages. My work days are a blur.

Tidy as we go.

Short bursts of cleaning.

Declutter.

Get children to help tidy/ clean.

Double cook potions, one for now and one for the freezer.

Eat with the kids, stop bathing them every night, spend 30 minutes clearing and cleaning one room when you get them in to bed (obviously save their room for weekends) and you'll be in a much better position. I do know it's very difficult.

DEFINITELY get rid of the 'I'm a star, look at my wonderful life' kind of thing.. and the self help crap!
You are obviously working extremely hard, something's got to give, don't beat yourself up. I'm in total admiration, really, I don't think I could have done that myself, worked FT and have to work in the evening too.
I can totally understand why you eat on your own late at night, probably the only time you get 2 mins to actually digest anything..
Personally, I think I would pick anything up that's lying on the floor, odd socks etc, & throw them into a cardboard box until DH is home to help. Less mess, less stress.. hugs, you're amazing!

You sound absolutely exhausted.

I think it's about picking stuff up and putting it away. Often the thought is much harder than the doing.

Box for toys
Box for laundry: one for clean and one for dirty
Bin for crap that comes through the letterbox
Wipe as you go
Chargeable stick hoover for quick cleans.

Be kind to yourself. You have a full-time job and often no partner around to help. Is there any spare for a cleaner? A babysitter once a week to do baths, story, teas, etc., whilst you tidy up with a glass of wine

Batch cook and eat at same time as kids
Don't bath kids every night
Cleaner is a god send but if not a roomba or similar
Lay out breakfast things the night before
Clean bathroom when you're in there - keep cleaning products to hand
If you work from home do odds and sods whilst kettle boiling etc

Yes agree with a PP don't bath the kids every night. It's just another thing to do and at that age they don't need it anyway.

1. Weekly cleaner
2. 3 nights out of 5 both of us here so one does bedtime whilst the other tidies up and runs the hoover round. Other nights hobbies
3. Weekend alternate one taking DC out in the morning whilst the other sorts washing etc/bit of exercise or time to self. Afternoons usually all together.

But I think really the answer is basically two of you present more so someone can do housework whilst the other does childcare. Or spending a lot of time between 8-10 post bedtime doing housework if you are on your own. This doesn't sound very sustainable for you.

Sunday dinner and leftovers fried together for Monday dinner so very quick. Other meals I plan ahead so spag bol sauce already made at the weekend - batch cook sauce and freeze. Clothes laid out Monday to Friday ready to grab in the morning. Housework at the weekend but just a quick hoover and polish. If you look close up it's not clean but fine from a distance. Toys in big containers piled up and one toy out at a time. We share bathtime and school drop offs so that makes it easier. Is there anyone who can help like your mum? Your partner should be paying for a cleaner if finances allow to ease your load or he should look at changing jobs

How we get through it is that every couple of weeks one of us takes the kids out for a morning/afternoon on the weekend and the other one blitzes the house. In between times it’s an absolute tip. We never stop. We are so, so busy (like everyone else is). I just don’t understand how people do it with small children and babies.

Similar position working full time with very young children, it is bloody hard.

I cook big batches of things like pasta then either freeze leftover portions or I microwave it for dinner the next day.

Lots of laundry baskets

Lots of

Posted too soon sorry!

Lots of wicker storage baskets for the kids crap

Chargeable mini hoover for crumbs.

i have two under 5 and it is hard!
Our house is rarely totally clean and tidy, I do manage to keep downstairs somewhat tidy but upstairs is a write off probably 70% of the time. I keep on top of washing but such a pain to get everything put away so it lives in piles in my room a lot of the time. Bathroom hasn’t been deep cleaned in ages, I wipe down and bleach the loo regularly but a proper scrub down is once in a blue moon at the moment! can’t remember when I lasted hoovered the stairs!

I must say though as hard as it is you have to find a little bit of time to clean round. Not every day necessarily but every other night rather than sitting down and watching tv just spent 20 minutes gathering up the socks and random boys, books and general crap and either put them away or put into a box to be sorted through at weekend.

You do need and deserve to have down time but it’s also about what is better overall and whilst sitting down and having an hour in front of the tv is a short term reprieve and time to yourself, it won’t help the longer term issue. Rather than the tv why not put a podcast on with earphones in and spend an hour cleaning up once or twice a week? It really does only take 20 mins to do a decent wipe down and clean in the bathroom for instance.
Don’t assume that you have to do a massive clean up or it’s not worth it - it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. An hour a couple times a week is better.

I tend to strategically time my cleaning at the weekend, I’ll wait until kids have been to the park or been playing at home and are ready for a sit down and I’ll tuck them up in my bed with a snack and the IPad and give myself half an hour to put clothes away. Or after a bath on a night I’ll spend 10 mins sorting stuff for next day whilst they watch the tablet.

it does get easier as they get older and can entertain themselves a bit more. It’s so hard, you’re definitely not alone x

We work full-time in stressful roles that require us to work evenings etc. 2 young children. Our house is always tidy and clean, I could've live any other way. We have a cleaner (I hate cleaning!) and we are always on top of tidying, doing things as we go. We don't have any evening downtime (looks like you sit for 1.5 hours in evening?). Household tasks are split evenly, hubby does bathtime whilst I clear kitchen etc. We go to bed about 11pm, up a

It's only tidy when the kids aren't in the house. I get back from the school in the morning and spend about 3 hours cleaning and tidying. I do general all over downstairs and focus on one room a bit more ,bathroom or bedrooms etc.The house is never spotless though with 6 of us living there and we do have general clutter and nowhere to put stuff. I don't work though. If I did work I can only imagine the state of the place.

ooops, posted too soon. Up at 5.30am. Its z military operation but I couldn't live in chaos. Weekends are mostly free for family time as we literally don't stop through week.

I work part time but am out the house 8:45-3:30 with school runs included. I have two DCs under 10 and a 4 month old puppy....id love to see pictures of your house because I bet it's Stacey Solomon's compared to mine 🤣. It's laundry that I can't keep on top of..my washing pile looks enough to clothe the whole street, I don't know where it all comes from! And my clean washing...well there's piles of that to clothe the next street too. Housework seems never ending but I think we all put too much pressure on ourselves to have an immaculate house. We can have the show home when the kids have moved out! Start small - go round with a basket and ask the children to find as much laundry as they can. Make it a game! Or a basket for toys, who can put the most in there. Clean the bathroom whilst bathing the children - means you are cleaning but also there to watch and play with them. Don't get me started on the kitchen, I blitz it and then an hour later it's a mess again! Do you have a slow cooker? You could prepare something in the morning then. Other than that, cut yourself some slack because you sound like an amazing mum! Anyway, best get off mumsnet and do some washing 😭🤣

Hi op. It is really hard to stay on top of things when you’re single parenting two young kids and work full time. Also why are you also working in the evenings? Are you getting paid for it??

First I would spend a weekend when your husband is home decluttering and getting rid of a lot of things. Everything else should have a home that is easy to put away.

Then I would get a cleaner if you can afford it.

Then I would batch cook/do gousto.

Sunday afternoons are for meal preps. I meal prep differently though. I don't cook meals just portion up meat parcels/marinade it, I make batches of dhal/ soups that freeze well, etc. Sunday preps are for chopping up stuff to use during the week. Also cook my rice and pasta to be used during the week. We put together a good fresh meal in 30min.
I have a cleaner once a week for 6 hours who does a thorough deep clean. We are in a habit of 10min tidy every night. Laundry Is packed into the machine at night, so it's on the first thing in the morning. It's done by the time we are ready, and takes 10 min to hang up. My biggest tip would be to declutter. You can get down to cleaning quicker if you not spending time moving things around.

@Scottishgirl85 - Yeah, so I probably have an hour/1.5 hour to myself in the evenings - after cooking and clearing up, I watch telly or read until 9.30pm and then bed.

I think perhaps that is it. my best friend said to me recently 'Oh I never watch TV. the evenings are my time to get stuff sorted' and I thought "Ah - that's it. That's what I'm not doing that everyone else - doing stuff in the evenings.".....If I started cooking/cleaning/laundry/organising after dinner for an hour/1.5 hour every night I'd be on top of it.

I will look into cleaner costs but couldn't justify it to myself with all the energy bills plus two kids in childcare which is getting on for £2k a month.

I will start tidying as I go more. Scrubbing the sink when the kids are in the bath kind of thing?

GOD. I will try not to have an existential crisis at the same time.

I haven’t watched telly in 5 years. Seriously! Evenings are spent catching up on laundry or loading the dishwasher etc then I’m knackered and go to bed!

Take a couple of days off work and sort out your house.
Be ruthless and get rid of stuff.
Once it's clean, find a system to keep on top of it.
I'm messy myself but I always tidy and clean the living room, hallway and kitchen every night. Takes less than half an hour.
Play some music or a podcast and just get on with it.
Start getting your dcs into good habits like tidying up at the end of the day. Dirty clothes in the laundry bin.