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AIBU?

Boyfriend to give a friend a lift home

177 replies

MumLife90 · 24/09/2022 23:46

My friend has come over for some drinks. We were originally meant to go out but I couldn't afford it so she came to mine instead.

She said she'd get a cab home, but we live in a village and when it came to booking she was having issues.

My OH was awake as our DS had woken up. I asked if he could take her home. He was no happy about it and said he'd find a cab. My friend had already tried 3 so I said can you please just take her home. She's a female and needs to get home safe. He reluctantly agreed and is now pissed off at me!

Am I being unreasonable to ask this of him?

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SuperCamp · 24/09/2022 23:48

Not necessarily unreasonable, but I can see why he is tired, and reluctant.

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GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 24/09/2022 23:49

A bit unreasonable to be fair.

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SuperCamp · 24/09/2022 23:49

For e.g when I go out in village : small town / rural areas, I book a cab in advance.

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user1471457751 · 24/09/2022 23:50

I can see why he is annoyed if he only got out of bed to see to a crying child and then has to go out to drop your friend home at almost midnight.

You and your friend should have planned this better and pre-booked a taxi - you both knew it would be needed.

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quietnightmare · 24/09/2022 23:50

Your both right in this situation. Could she not stay? Book in advance in future

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KeepOutingMyselfAnotherNameChange · 24/09/2022 23:50

Yanbu

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MumLife90 · 24/09/2022 23:50

I agree, I can understand he's tired and would rather not but to make such a big deal and to now be so pissed off with me, im just not sure if he's over reacting or if I'm asking too much?!

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GetRichOrDieTrying · 24/09/2022 23:50

Yes, that’s quite unreasonable. Why couldn’t she sleep at yours (on a sofa if needs be) and you drive her home in the morning?

How long a drive is it?

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GrazingSheep · 24/09/2022 23:51

How far away does she live?

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Hotandbothereds · 24/09/2022 23:52

Yes unreasonable, she should’ve booked a taxi in advance, I’d be pissed off having to go out at this time of night because your friend hadn’t organised how to get home.

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GetRichOrDieTrying · 24/09/2022 23:52

On thé taxi point, you know that at pub kicking out time in a little village that you will likely struggle. Why didn’t you book in advance or just wait until later?

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MumLife90 · 24/09/2022 23:52

I did offer a bed for the night but she needs to get back home. She has a cab firm that's usually reliable but this time isn't! She loves 15 mins away

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Overandunderit · 24/09/2022 23:53

YABU. Your bf isn't yours or your friends taxi service.

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SuperCamp · 24/09/2022 23:53

How is he behaving towards you?

I am assuming you had had drunks so couldn’t take her yourself?

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AffIt · 24/09/2022 23:53

Yes, I'd be quite annoyed if I had got out of bed to do something and my OH asked me to take their mate home, assuming it wasn't five minutes round the corner (and at that point I'd probably ask why their presumably adult self couldn't there using their legs).

You and your friend need to plan better.

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AffIt · 24/09/2022 23:54

So at least a 30 minute round trip, meaning it'll be close to 1am-ish by the time he gets home?

Yes, you and your mate A definitely BU.

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Aubriella · 24/09/2022 23:55

Do you drive, OP? I have family members that offer me up for lifts, it’s really frustrating. It’s not so much the life, it’s the assumption that they can tell me what to do that’s so annoying.

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catandcoffee · 24/09/2022 23:55

He's done you and your friend a massive favour.

I'd be pissed off too.
Don't argue, just thank him for dropping your friend home.

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DontTrustThisPoster · 24/09/2022 23:56

What does he want her to do, walk?

Theres no situation under the sun where by my husband wouldn’t drive a woman home late at night, no matter if it was my fault, her fault, no one’s fault! You don’t leave a woman to make her own way home late at night, period.

His “tired” could be her dead/raped/assaulted.

Its not like anyone expected it to be a problem, if she uses a reliable company regularly it wouldn’t have occurred to anyone it would be an issue.

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GetRichOrDieTrying · 24/09/2022 23:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DontTrustThisPoster · 24/09/2022 23:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Wtf is your last sentence about? You’re vile.

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MumLife90 · 25/09/2022 00:00

Yea I do drive but have also had a drink. He'll be home on 15 mins as just had a message from my friend saying she's home.

He's just being very annoyed and not really talking to me.

It's annoying yes, but to be so pissed off and not talking to me I think is maybe a bit far? I just wanted my friend to get home safe.

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GetRichOrDieTrying · 25/09/2022 00:01

DontTrustThisPoster · 24/09/2022 23:58

Wtf is your last sentence about? You’re vile.

How so? Would it not be polite to offer him a cup of tea and a biscuit?

Other people’s partners really aren’t there to deal with women’s incompetence you know.

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Hotandbothereds · 25/09/2022 00:01

I just wanted my friend to get home safe

And neither of you had considered how thus would happen until the minute she was due to leave?

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DontTrustThisPoster · 25/09/2022 00:02

MumLife90 · 25/09/2022 00:00

Yea I do drive but have also had a drink. He'll be home on 15 mins as just had a message from my friend saying she's home.

He's just being very annoyed and not really talking to me.

It's annoying yes, but to be so pissed off and not talking to me I think is maybe a bit far? I just wanted my friend to get home safe.

You were a good friend!

I’m flabbergasted at some of the responses here.

Have we all forgotten about Sarah Everard already? The hundreds / thousands of women who are raped and assaulted in this country every year?

Honestly Mumsnet really can be a cess pit.

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