My friend has come over for some drinks. We were originally meant to go out but I couldn't afford it so she came to mine instead.
She said she'd get a cab home, but we live in a village and when it came to booking she was having issues.
My OH was awake as our DS had woken up. I asked if he could take her home. He was no happy about it and said he'd find a cab. My friend had already tried 3 so I said can you please just take her home. She's a female and needs to get home safe. He reluctantly agreed and is now pissed off at me!
Am I being unreasonable to ask this of him?
AIBU?
Boyfriend to give a friend a lift home
MumLife90 · 24/09/2022 23:46
TarasHarp55 · 25/09/2022 08:19
I'd just thank him and put up with his grumpiness. Obviously he did the right thing but he was justifiably annoyed.
Most of us expect to be able to jump back into our warm beds after a brief sleep disturbance, not get waylaid into a half hour drive.
TarasHarp55 · 25/09/2022 08:22
It wasn't as if it would have been a toss up between him giving her a lift and her walking home. The alternative would have been for her to stay the night, however inconvenient that would have been for her.
TarasHarp55 · 25/09/2022 08:19
I'd just thank him and put up with his grumpiness. Obviously he did the right thing but he was justifiably annoyed.
Most of us expect to be able to jump back into our warm beds after a brief sleep disturbance, not get waylaid into a half hour drive.
Summerfun54321 · 25/09/2022 00:18
Just ask him if you found yourself in that situation what would he rather - your friend’s DH drive you 15mins home or you stay out all night over at her house and get a taxi back in the morning?
VroomVrooom · 25/09/2022 01:45
I can understand why he is annoyed. He’s tired, wasn’t expecting to have to haul ass into the night at a late hour.
But ….
My Dh would do this without hesitation.
In fact, he’d be mortified if any of my friends saw him as being anything other than completely willing to make sure they got home safely.
And likewise, I have had friends’ husbands drop me home, and they’ve never been anything other than unquestioningly happy to do it.
I know much of humanity - including much of MN - thinks men are all hopeless drop-kicks, expected to operate at a standard of behaviour so far below women, they might as well be a different species…
But actually, all the men I know are good, decent, considerate and thoughtful. 🤷🏻♀️
Overandunderit · 24/09/2022 23:53
YABU. Your bf isn't yours or your friends taxi service.
NumberTheory · 25/09/2022 00:49
Have we forgotten the majority of rapes are by people the victim knows, like a friend, or the partner of a friend, not a stranger on the street?
DontTrustThisPoster · 25/09/2022 00:02
You were a good friend!
I’m flabbergasted at some of the responses here.
Have we all forgotten about Sarah Everard already? The hundreds / thousands of women who are raped and assaulted in this country every year?
Honestly Mumsnet really can be a cess pit.
MumLife90 · 25/09/2022 00:00
Yea I do drive but have also had a drink. He'll be home on 15 mins as just had a message from my friend saying she's home.
He's just being very annoyed and not really talking to me.
It's annoying yes, but to be so pissed off and not talking to me I think is maybe a bit far? I just wanted my friend to get home safe.
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TarasHarp55 · 25/09/2022 08:22
It wasn't as if it would have been a toss up between him giving her a lift and her walking home. The alternative would have been for her to stay the night, however inconvenient that would have been for her.
TarasHarp55 · 25/09/2022 08:19
I'd just thank him and put up with his grumpiness. Obviously he did the right thing but he was justifiably annoyed.
Most of us expect to be able to jump back into our warm beds after a brief sleep disturbance, not get waylaid into a half hour drive.
Eyeroll85 · 25/09/2022 08:18
Same.
Cannot believe how uptight some of the replies on here are…it was 11.30pm and by the sounds of things, a one off.
Cannot fathom where the anger about putting yourself out to do a one off small favour comes from?
Firstly, unless this was a regular occurrence, my lovely partner would be pleased for me, that I was having a nice evening with my friend.
If, at the end of the evening, we ran into issues getting her home, he would absolutely offer to take her. No questions asked.
I am sure if he was tired and had been sleeping, he would not be thrilled, but he would 100percent still offer.
Even if he was sleeping and I chose not to wake him, if I had told him in the morning that she walked home alone, he would be a bit miffed as to why I had not woken him to ask.
He would not under any circumstances be so rude as to make my guest feel uncomfortable by being an arse to me about it in front of her - though the poster does not her husband did this.
However, at the end of the day, he HAS dropped her off, he may be annoyed about it, maybe he’s just tired and hopefully, by the time he comes home, he’s not so pissed off. I’d just thank him for putting himself out and apologise for the inconvenience and let him be annoyed for a bit, safe in the knowledge that she made it home.
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