Boyfriend to give a friend a lift home

[MumLife90]

My friend has come over for some drinks. We were originally meant to go out but I couldn't afford it so she came to mine instead.

She said she'd get a cab home, but we live in a village and when it came to booking she was having issues.

My OH was awake as our DS had woken up. I asked if he could take her home. He was no happy about it and said he'd find a cab. My friend had already tried 3 so I said can you please just take her home. She's a female and needs to get home safe. He reluctantly agreed and is now pissed off at me!

Am I being unreasonable to ask this of him?

Wow surprised by some of the responses here. I would expect my DH to offer. To me he sounds like a lazy prick!

It's not your husband's responsibility to get your friend home

I'm not surprised he's pissed off, it was nice of you to volunteer him to drive her home

Yeah, cos it’s not like that could get misunderstood and taken to be inappropriate.

Inviting in for coffee or tea late at night could very much look like she’s making a move and that’s the way your suggestion she should invite him in to show appreciation sounded.

My husband would help my friends, he might be a bit miffed but he’d prefer to drop a friend joke rather than her walking if she couldn’t stay and now she knows for next time to pre book and the words “thank you” are all the appreciation he wants.

He made sure she got home, he's just annoyed it got left to him to sort when he was already in bed. That's fair enough, surely?

Would you have woken him to take her if he were asleep?

Doesn't mean he wouldn't be pissed of at doing it though

This.

My DH wouldn't even have to be asked.

It's a relatively minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of things, I'm sure OP has done him plenty of favours over the years too. Sulking about it is pathetic.

I wouldn't offer and I'm not a lazy prick. There are other options and if not I'd do it reluctantly. You sound like a judgemental prick

Then she should have been the one inconvenienced and had to change her plans for the morning so she could stay at yours tonight. YABU to inconvenience your boyfriend for her. I can see why he's pissed off. There's a world of difference between half waking up to settle a child briefly then going back to bed versus shaking yourself properly awake to put on coat and shoes, go out in the cold to drive someone home just because they'd prefer it.

This. Your friend has been unreasonable not doing this.

No, of course we haven't forgotten . Why does this absolve us of the need to look out for our own safety? What would this friend have done if op's dh wasn't there / sober himself?

Oh boo hoo, man gets asked to do favour to help out partner's friend, big pissing deal. Actually I'm not surprised the majority of you are outraged on his behalf, mumsnetters curse people for simply knocking on their door with no notice given, of course unplanned lifts are going to cause a ruckus in your ridiculous little minds

Can I just make things clear he was NOT asleep, he left the house at 11:45 and for back at 12:15. It's not wildly late, my friend couldn't stay because she has a child she needed to get back to and whilst pre booking a cab was a good idea in hind sight but we didn't do it.

I'm just glad she's home safe, my partner has no longer annoyed and knows for a fact I'd do the same for one of his friends!

He was in bed. Why is it better to get him up than have her sleep over?

Yanbu, you did the right thing. Most would assume a cab would be no issue if it hadn't been an issue in the past, and she has to get home safely.

It is an inconvenience to him for sure, and he deserves appreciation, but I think we'd all want our partners to be understanding and do us the favour in such circumstances. As long as you don't regularly take the piss.

Op says it's a 15 minute drive. There was no way she planned to walk!

She was offered a bed for the night, remember, not put out on the front step with the milk bottles.

Is that you, Brenda?

Nope, it's the first time I've ever asked him to do such a thing

Have we forgotten the majority of rapes are by people the victim knows, like a friend, or the partner of a friend, not a stranger on the street?

My husband also. Because he’s a decent person, who’d give half an hour of his time to help me and my pal out. Sometimes situations like this come up, it’s life. I also do things to help him, my stepsons, his friends, our friends. We’re a team.That’s one of the reasons why I married him. It’s just nice to have someone in your corner.

YANBU.

why not just let her sleep on sofa for the night?

Jeez. Would never bother me in the slightest. It sounds like an unusual situation to not be able to get a cab. In this case I'd offer to take my wife's friend(s) home, male or female.

12:00 is hardly late and 15m each way is nothing. Esp when you're getting someone home safe. That's more important than getting in a huff.

Not unreasonable of you to ask, but it was a significant favour. You and your friend should have planned better, or she could have stayed at your place.

I'd do that sort of favour for someone if they were stuck, but I'd expect a fair bit of gratitude and I'd be cross if it was just expected that I'd drive someone home.

Why not RTFT?

I love how some posters on here think pre-booked taxis on a weekend night are guaranteed to turn up 😆

That aside, I can see both sides here. If your partner was in bed, I can understand why he'd not want to give a lift home and be angry at being asked. However, to be sulking about it is ridiculous and ott, and if he showed in front of ur friend who was a guest that he wasn't happy about it, I'd be mortified as your friend must have felt awful.

He took her home, he didn’t refuse. But if he’d been asleep and was only awake to settle his child back to sleep, I don’t blame him for being a bit pissed off for having to go out. Say thank you, he’s unreasonable if he continues to sulk about it.