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Nursery made DS take his glasses off

244 replies

GlassesWearer · 23/09/2022 17:57

NC’d because I know other nursery mum’s are on here.

DS is 3 and has had glasses for two years. He has a very strong prescription and gets very upset when his glasses are taken away (because he’s essentially blind). We did tell nursery this. He even has goggles for swimming and sports goggles too, we always make sure he has a spare pair on him in case something happens to them.

We’ve been given the order form for his school photos (individual and class photo) and he’s not wearing his glasses. Nursery mentioned to DH at pick up on the day they were taken that they took them off because it looks nicer - DH didn’t mention this to me until after I saw the proofs today. They also mentioned to DH that he was a bit upset during the photos and that they struggled to get one (which will be because he didn’t have his glasses on)!

I’m really upset that they took his glasses off him. I think he looks adorable in them but, regardless, that’s not their purpose. They’re a medical device and he needs them. On the other hand, what’s done is done, there’s no long term harm and he does look precious in the photos.

AIBU to raise this with his teacher and ask them not to remove them for future photos? There have been no other issues, we’re very happy and DS loves going there.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

1617 votes. Final results.

You are being unreasonable
You are NOT being unreasonable
stuntbubbles · 23/09/2022 17:59

YANBU! What a horrendous thing for them to do: utterly ableist. I’d be furious.

Cma1988 · 23/09/2022 18:00

I would speak to them. I think they shouldn’t have taken them off, and YANBU. they shouldn’t have taken them off for the photos unless you had specifically told them too.

KimberleyClark · 23/09/2022 18:01

It’s disgusting. If you wear glasses they are a part of you. I would be offended if someone told me I looked better without mine. We are very glasses-ist in this country.

CornishTiger · 23/09/2022 18:01

I’d be furious.

They are removing his ability to see correctly and giving him the message he doesn’t look good with them on.

Not ok at all.

NuffSaidSam · 23/09/2022 18:02

YANBU they probably meant well but it was incredibly misguided. It's things like this that stick with you into adulthood and impact confidence and self esteem.

I wouldn't get a copy of the photos, have some done with his glasses on.

Theimpossiblegirl · 23/09/2022 18:02

That's a really shitty message they're sending to a child. Yanbu to be annoyed.

mrsmccormick · 23/09/2022 18:02

That is absolutely shocking and I would be in touch with the nursery manager.

Hugasauras · 23/09/2022 18:02

That's awful. Apart from the fact he can't see without them, what kind of example does it set suggesting that children 'look better' without glasses on? I would be furious.

CamilasGabagool · 23/09/2022 18:02

Ewww ablism at its finest.

Beees · 23/09/2022 18:02

Gosh you're under reacting if anything! How fucking rude and heartless of them! I truly would not want people who valued how a child looks over his comfort in charge of my child.

PotatoHammock · 23/09/2022 18:03

I would definitely raise it. Just remind them that his glasses are absolutely essential for him AT ALL TIMES, and that by telling him/you that he looks better without them, they are essentially planting seeds of self-consciousness in his mind.

Jackiebrambles · 23/09/2022 18:03

The bastards for doing that, how dare they. I had to take my glasses off for a passport shot and found it really hard to focus where I was supposed to as I'm so blind. The poor love. I'd be furious!

QueenoftheNimbleFlyingCat · 23/09/2022 18:03

YANBU poor boy. No wonder we struggle to get kids (and adults) to actually wear their glasses when we have people like this. Hope it doesn't knock his confidence OP.

Darkness22 · 23/09/2022 18:05


Soontobe60 · 23/09/2022 18:06

No, they should not have done that! If you’ve just got the order form, you can ask the school to arrange another sitting for him - our school have done that in the past, the child (and parent) went to the photographers and had the photos taken again.

Randyforgiles · 23/09/2022 18:06

That's such a shame. My 3 year old wears glasses and she looks very cute in them, they're just a part of her now. I'd raise it with them for sure.

FictionalCharacter · 23/09/2022 18:06

What a horrible thing to do. And the photographer went along with it. Definitely complain, because they need to understand why this is wrong.
Imagine if they tried to get a child to remove their hearing aids / cochlear implant for the photo because they decided the child looked better without! Or took a child out of their wheelchair for a group photo.

PlainOldMe80 · 23/09/2022 18:07

Definitely speak to the teacher about it, like your ds my ds also has a strong prescription and wouldn't be able to see much without them, he's got his glasses on on all the pictures! Also it shouldn't really matter if it's a strong prescription on not if a child wears glasses they more than likely need them.

Seeline · 23/09/2022 18:08

Both my DCs wear glasses. At secondary school all their photos were if them with their heads in weird positions. When I've asked them about it they've consistently said it's because the photographer couldn't get a picture without reflections on their glasses. I think school photographers are really poor and incapable of dealing with people bearing glasses. Mine were obviously older and refused to remove their glasses when asked.

MarinoRoyale · 23/09/2022 18:08

CornishTiger · 23/09/2022 18:01

I’d be furious.

They are removing his ability to see correctly and giving him the message he doesn’t look good with them on.

Not ok at all.

Yep totally this, what a terrible message they’ve sent him.

Shouldbedoing · 23/09/2022 18:08

Most of us glasses wearers look a bit weird and naked without our specs. I have nice nose dents as well as goggly eyes without mine.

EL8888 · 23/09/2022 18:10

Wow! I don’t know where to start with this. I would raging about the whole thing. They are so out of order!

An ex of mine as a child, was told by his uncle that women don’t fancy men who wear glasses 😲. As an adult that stuck with him. He was an attractive man and glasses really suited him.

Augend23 · 23/09/2022 18:10

I'd be so pissed off. That's unacceptable, and plays into the tropes of glasses making you ugly.

ProlificInProfanity · 23/09/2022 18:13


My DC has worn high strength prescription from around 8 months old. I’d be furious if staff took their glasses off because they felt it look nicer.

I am raging on your behalf. Absolutely not on. Angry

excelledyourself · 23/09/2022 18:13

I'm gobsmacked.

My DS wore glasses from age 4. They were part of who he was.

I'd be so upset that his nursery photo didn't reflect what he looks like day to day.

Go through them like a ton of bricks, OP. How dare they do that to a child.

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