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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think daddy/daughter kinks are weird af?

274 replies

bringingdownthehotel · 21/09/2022 08:14

Been dating a what I thought to be lovely man for a month and a half. Last night we were talking about our fantasies etc and he basically told me he has a daddy/daughter fantasy and likes being called daddy. I said 'daddy' in a laughing way and he was like 'mmm say it again' dead serious.

Now I'm all for people being into what they are into whether I like it or not. But what especially grosses me out here is the fact that he has a daughter! I just think it's so wrong! And it's sadly put me right off the more I think about it. It seems perverse.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Clymene · 21/09/2022 08:15

No, that would make me clamp my legs tight shut too. Bleugh

LadyCampanulaTottington · 21/09/2022 08:19

Bleurgh…

I remember a thread on here years ago about sexual fetishes (I think in the GC threads) where a poster said she was taking about weird fetishes with her DH and how some men rob used tampons from womens toilets to put up their anus.

He said something like “no matter what you can think of, no matter how weird, disturbing or disgusting, there is a man out there who sexualises it and wanks over it”.

I never forgot that.

WalkingThroughTreacle · 21/09/2022 08:20

"weird af" is not the term I would use for someone that fantasises about child sexual abuse.

BlueKaftan · 21/09/2022 08:21

I would LTB. Incest and paedophilia?? No way.

SNWannabe · 21/09/2022 08:22

🤢 yanbu

Playplayaway · 21/09/2022 08:23

This is all kinds of messed up. He has a daughter who presumably calls him daddy ffs

ThreeRingCircus · 21/09/2022 08:24

The fact that he actually has a daughter makes this totally creepy in my opinion. There's no way I'd get past that.

beastlyslumber · 21/09/2022 08:24

YANBU. It is creepy as hell.

I actually know a couple who are into this fetishism. She is much younger than him and dresses like an infant. They also have a young daughter. I find it disturbing and creepy but they are very open about their 'kink'.

Topgub · 21/09/2022 08:25

Absolutely awful.

I've been on other (parenting)forums where it's been discussed by women who claim to be into it

The mental gymnastics they went through to justify it was ludicrous.

These were women with children 'playing' at fucking their 'daddy'

Grim

Lockheart · 21/09/2022 08:25

People are weird. What consenting adults call each other in the bedroom doesn't interest me.

If you're not into it then dump him and move on.

KentuckyDerbyandJoan · 21/09/2022 08:25

WalkingThroughTreacle · 21/09/2022 08:20

"weird af" is not the term I would use for someone that fantasises about child sexual abuse.

This

cambiando · 21/09/2022 08:28

I am fucking fed up of living in a culture that wants to accept things that are clearly wrong as some sort of sexy fetish to explore. Since we split up I've found out that exh is apparently into this. It's not a fetish, it's just wrong. I am constantly anxious about my daughter when she's with him. Does he enjoy it when she calls him what he likes being called sexually? Can you really separate the two? And I'm stuck because I don't have enough grounds for full custody. So I have to keep sending her to him, knowing that this is in the background. I'm basically just extremely worried about her all the time and have no idea what to do to protect her.

So no, it's not normal or acceptable, it's deeply concerning.

DahliasLove · 21/09/2022 08:29

If he didn’t have a daughter it wouldn’t be quite as worrying but nah that’s more than weird tbh.

Anytimeiseeit · 21/09/2022 08:30

Really, really horrible

Mangogogogo · 21/09/2022 08:33

I’m pretty open about stuff like that and if I wouldn’t do something I usually wouldn’t judge someone else for doing it.

i draw the line at stuff to do with kids though. Absolutely rank and doubt that’s the full ‘fetish’

notacooldad · 21/09/2022 08:33

I would find it very disturbing and would definitely end the relationship.

OnTheRunWithMannyMontana · 21/09/2022 08:37

Definitely not U! That's really quite disgusting and perverse.

Run in the opposition direction and fast!

Anonykunt · 21/09/2022 08:37

Absolutely disgusting. Though I see many are busy trying to normalise it. I wonder what other "kinks" some of these people have... I hope female participants get a clue and stop indulging their paedophile partner's fantasy.

AntlerRose · 21/09/2022 08:40

cambiando · 21/09/2022 08:28

I am fucking fed up of living in a culture that wants to accept things that are clearly wrong as some sort of sexy fetish to explore. Since we split up I've found out that exh is apparently into this. It's not a fetish, it's just wrong. I am constantly anxious about my daughter when she's with him. Does he enjoy it when she calls him what he likes being called sexually? Can you really separate the two? And I'm stuck because I don't have enough grounds for full custody. So I have to keep sending her to him, knowing that this is in the background. I'm basically just extremely worried about her all the time and have no idea what to do to protect her.

So no, it's not normal or acceptable, it's deeply concerning.

That must be really upsetting for you.

I wonder if you could call the nspcc for advice anonymously.

Georgeskitchen · 21/09/2022 08:43

No way absolutely not!! This would freak me out big time. You have to think is he fantasising about having sex with his daughter while he's with me? 🤮🤮

minipie · 21/09/2022 08:46

Yeah it’s grim

I’m not keen on schoolgirl fetishisation either tbh

Anonykunt · 21/09/2022 08:49

Has anyone seen the original House of Cards? The antihero Francis is a psychopath. As he prepares to seduce the much younger journalist, even he looks uncomfortable and says "what?" in response to her request to call him "daddy."

Anonykunt · 21/09/2022 08:51

There was a good thread on Reddit where a woman quickly shut her down her boyfriend's fantasy by asking him to call her "grandma" in bed.

ArcticSkewer · 21/09/2022 08:51

It's not at all my thing, but it's a fairly common mild kink that isn't about paedophilia. Age play is more about a sub-dom caring roleplay.

Toomuchstufftodo · 21/09/2022 08:54

Did he actually say the words 'daughter' as part of the fantasy? Most of these fantasies are more about being dominant, a parter being submissive and doing whatever they are told etc.

I would give him a chance to explain what it is about it that turns him on - it might not be what you think.

If it is what you think and you can't get passed it then fair enough, you do what you need to do.

While I am not sure I could get passed it either, I don't share the view that this means he's a paedophile and you'd need to call NSPCC etc - an adult acting child-like is still an adult and very different physically and mentally to a child. It is an adult that turns them on.

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