to want an "opt out" for funerals?

[HangingOver]

Possible TW death and loss...

I've been thinking about this ever since the queen died....

If it were possible to tick a box saying "I do not want a funeral" I would probably do it...

Reason being I think funerals could be an example of something that society just carries on doing "because we've always done it" without questioning whether it's a good idea or not.

Every funeral I've been to I've found traumatic, no matter the age of the person. I barely know anyone religious (included the deceaseds) so the hymns and prayers bit seemed sort of odd. Suddenly being so close to a dead body in a box is at best strange and at worst panic inducing. Then everyone stands around afterwards saying how lovely the dead person was (when they really should have just told them when they were still alive).

I appreciate not everyone may feel this way, but is there a way of "opting out" and having the choice of having ones remains quietly disposed of by the hospital and everyone just have a nice dinner instead if they want to mark your passing?

There's no requirement to have a funeral, which is why direct cremation is becoming more & more popular. That's my choice - and no wake, "gathering" or ashes scattering either. Zero fuss and zero stress.

Straight to the crematorium in a MDF box and Yodel send you the ashes to chuck on the roses. Class !!!.

Its always been possible to not have a funeral. The only requirement is to dispose of the corpse in an approved way.

We're both having direct cremation with no service or attendance at all.

I think I agree. I found myself angry at having to have a funeral for my Ddad, he had not expressed any wishes (and was a very private and introverted person) and it was very sudden so hadn't been discussed beyond wanting to end up on the same place as DM. I felt the funeral was for everyone else not us closest to him and that we had one because it was expected not because it was what any of us wanted. I was envious of his friends family who had a direct cremation soon after and collected the ashes as a close family unit, it all seemed so much more personal and private and would have been more suited to us as a family. The funeral was ok but I didn't feel it was cathartic (other than getting it out of the way), I'd already said my goodbyes. I would have been happy with no funeral as I felt it was hanging over me although weirdly the undertaker and the process of organising it was soothing, I just would have foregone the actual event. I am likely to do a direct cremation.

Have you not seen the 1001 adverts on direct cremation?