Scottish Highlands child free wedding - update

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

Some of you may remember that last month I asked if IWBU for missing my brother’s child free wedding which was in the Scottish highlands (350 miles away) as our childcare fell through last minute? And I got my arse massively handed to me for refusing to charter a private plan, or hire a phoenix to carry me there, and go at all costs.

heres the thread:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4609108-childcare-fallen-through-so-cant-make-dbs-child-free-wedding

WELL….you may recall that my DB wouldn’t change his mind about the kids not coming. It was a hard ‘no’ to kids even when that meant I couldn’t go myself.

The wedding photos have just been posted on Facebook - there’s two fucking kids in the photos!! I messaged him asking who they were and they’re his DW’s cousin’s children. He’s refusing to answer why his niece and nephew weren’t invited, even when we had no childcare, and these kids were. He says he “doesn’t owe me an explanation about anything”. I think he fucking does after the grief he gave me about not coming! I’m bloody furious! Seriously considering sending glitter in the post to him. Twat. So, so pleased I didn’t spend a small fortune going on my own.

WOW.

YADNBU OP. Sounds like you had a lucky escape!

Wow… thank god you didn’t go

I remember your thread. It was bonkers!

Thank God you didn’t go. Your brother is a piece of work.

No way!! lucky escape there OP aren't you glad you never shelled out for a phoenix!

Haven’t read the other thread but can v much see how you’d be upset and annoyed by that.

You can say a massive "I told you so" even just to yourself.
Imagine how furious you would have been to get there and see the other kids there too

Wow! That is awful.

I had something similar, but not as dramatic – told that this was a child-free wedding, 'so all the parents could enjoy themselves fully etc etc'. I missed the wedding and stayed at home to look after the kids – saw the pics later, and turns out that only kids with my surname weren't invited...

YWNBU then and YANBU now.

He’s an utter piece.

I remember your thread. You now have vindication you did the right thing. He doesn’t owe you an explanation is just DARVO. Please try not to waste time thinking about them.

I read that thread. I was completely on your side, OP. And thanks for posting an update.

Looks like your brother has chosen "his side " 😔

That's infuriating! YANBU.

I read your thread OP and I agreed with you!.
Its takes the pee that kids were there and I certainly wouldn't be speaking to DB for quite a long time.

OMG, some of the replies to your previous thread…!
I missed it first time round but I would have absolutely said YWNBU. Clearly, you’ve been proved absolutely right!

That’s a really unfortunate update, what an absolute shit your brother is. Perhaps you should join your other brother in being no contact!

There are always children at child-free weddings. It's part of the rules of wedding insanity.

Wow, that's incredibly annoying. Might it have been his wife's doing?

I couldn't forgive that.

Gosh I remember that!

What about the bride's sister's kids, weren't they also excluded?

How extraordinarily rude of him to pressure you in that way. Nasty bugger.

Can’t see how you’d have your arse handed to you for for that on here - very much the orthodoxy is to say it’s fine to decline a childfree wedding (which I agree with). Can make someone invite your kids but fine to not go.

Sounds like your brother has been an absolute arse about it and I agree has chosen his side - ie with his wife’s family.

Oh fuck off that's awful I'd have nothing to do with him. He won't discuss it because how can he possibly justify it, he can't.

Seriously I've had similar only didn't know it was even happening, not a wedding but a party I found out by Facebook.pictures. I haven't spoken to my brother for 5 years as this just about topped it off. Your brother may as well have kicked you I the teeth

What an idiot. Same thing happened to me. However slightly different as one of my kids was invited and the other not!

I remember your thread OP. Thanks for the update. Your DB has proved himself to be the arse many suspected he was. It’s his loss.

interested to see if any of the original loony posters pop up to justify why you are still wrong….

Read the original thread

Yup. I’m guessing the “side taking” will only get worse now the ring is on the finger.

Sorry this has happened OP but he’s shown what kind of person he is, I don’t know how close you were before this but I’d personally withdraw from the relationship.