Scottish Highlands child free wedding - update

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

Some of you may remember that last month I asked if IWBU for missing my brother’s child free wedding which was in the Scottish highlands (350 miles away) as our childcare fell through last minute? And I got my arse massively handed to me for refusing to charter a private plan, or hire a phoenix to carry me there, and go at all costs.

heres the thread:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4609108-childcare-fallen-through-so-cant-make-dbs-child-free-wedding

WELL….you may recall that my DB wouldn’t change his mind about the kids not coming. It was a hard ‘no’ to kids even when that meant I couldn’t go myself.

The wedding photos have just been posted on Facebook - there’s two fucking kids in the photos!! I messaged him asking who they were and they’re his DW’s cousin’s children. He’s refusing to answer why his niece and nephew weren’t invited, even when we had no childcare, and these kids were. He says he “doesn’t owe me an explanation about anything”. I think he fucking does after the grief he gave me about not coming! I’m bloody furious! Seriously considering sending glitter in the post to him. Twat. So, so pleased I didn’t spend a small fortune going on my own.

Go away OP's brother!

Agreed, glitter bomb that bastard. Get it sent to him in nice wrapping paper with a note saying here is your wedding gift. I hope they open it in their living room.

Thank you for updating Lydia; some of the posters on the original thread had clearly been hitting the sherry bottle a little too early that day 🤔😂

Just how much has your other brother being saying "I told you he was a knob" since this all came to light? 😂

But a present? Aka send money!

It's not some deeply personal present he expected from his sister, he wanted some cash, not a carriage clock to put on his mantelpiece and tell everyone that it was a wedding gift from his beloved sister.

As bad as each other? Really? As in both equally at fault? (As opposed to one a teeny tiny bit remiss and the other an absolutely massive bellend?)

Come on.

God he's an arsehole
Be glad you didn't waste your time and money going

You would not like the present I would send you in this situation...

I thought the same. I live in rural southern England and it takes me 40 mins to go 15 miles on one particular journey I do regularly.

I used to drive 380 miles regularly, largely on motorways & dual carriageways, and that took 7 hours plus (8 hours if you include crossing the final city in the journey). The idea you could drive 350 miles, attend a wedding and not have to stay overnight is batshit.

Surely she could have just organised a quick coup and a republican revolution (I think they sell the starter packs in Waitrose) and moved into Balmoral quick sticks? And popped along for the wedding? I don't see why these arrangements are so hard for people.

Reminds me of my uncles wedding (also in the Scottish Highlands funnily enough!). Me and my brother weren't invited as it was a child free wedding, so Mum went on her own and Dad looked after us, but it turned out other nieces and nephews our age were invited!

I really don’t think I’m as bad as him - guilting me after I can’t go to his wedding, when he expected me to travel 350 miles and sort childcare for 2 nights, only to invite his wife’s cousins’ kids, and have a tantrum because my mum spent ‘his’ money on medical bills.

Yeah not getting the Nobhead a present is just as bad I will confess though I was hardly rushing to find his details but can you blame me?

In fairness my mum has said she understands if I don’t want to speak to him again

If this is what you wanna ruin your relationship with your brother over. be my guest.

It was only two kids!
They might have had the babysitter cancel on them last minute
Or they were cheeky people who decided they needed to bring their precious brood

Who cares. Stop being petty

Maybe your brother just doesn't like YOUr kids . That could be possible too

@SleeplessInEngland you think being an utter cunt to family members - including your ill mother - is ‘living your best life’?

In what way is it petty? He insisted it was a child-free wedding and said no to my kids attending when childcare fell through, then took a huff when I said that means I couldn’t come.

And it turns out he invited two other kids.

He barely knows my children, there’s be no reason to dislike them.

And the only person who’s ruined our relationship is him - why is it men are never fucking held accountable?!

Her brother was the one who ruined the relationship. He could have easily said “you know what Lydia, it’s not a child free wedding, wife’s family kids will be there. But insert whatever reason they were there it’s just were really limited on numbers and we don’t really know the kids. I understand how hard childcare is and since we’ve made the decision to have limited children we understand if you can’t attend.”

Yeah it might have fucking stung but, come on, it’s a total dick move to lie and say it’s a child free wedding, have an absolute toddler tantrum when her childcare fell through, then it turned out it wasn’t a child free wedding at all.

To then try to guilt trip his ill mother for spending her own money on her health instead of jettisoning a nasty twat and his blushing bride half way round the world, shows what kind of person he is.

So glad you didn’t go or send a present.

I think I’m in love with you, OP, ❤️

@Marvellousmadness seems to plop controversially on every thread

No idea. I have a similar situation, there’s always a reason for the menz. But when a woman says no more, she’s to blame….

ok, maybe that’s just my situ! But empathies on dick brother OP. You’re not alone, enjoy your bonus £100!

Can I join the dick brother club? Fucker has appropriated the family home but still feels entitled.

At the end of the day it wasn’t a child free wedding and the op’s brother is a twat.

I would put a 1p coin in the glitter bomb envelope.

I wouldn't really as it's more effort than he deserves, but I would just take a huge step back from this relationship.

Your poor mum though.

A “total wimp” for a mum

a “shit human being” “nobhead” “cunt” for a brother.

what a family to have