SIL wants me to apologise to her DD

[cheathimsilly]

I took her DD to a film whilst my DS was at school. It was a baby friendly showing, to be specific here. My own (baby) DD came along

I bought sweets along but she wanted popcorn and I fancied some too, so we got a large popcorn and a drink to share

Within 15 minutes of the show starting, she said she was scared. I said it's fine, there's a lot of funny stuff. Sit tight and enjoy her treats etc

She said again 5 minutes later, I don't like it, I'm scared. I said please will you just give it a try? Low and behold, 5 minutes later she's giggling at some of the film and fine for the rest of it

Then the credits came up, and she said she was terrified! I said what of? She said the screens gone black

My niece is 7.

Sorry pressed send to soon

SIL got wind of this when she got home. She ran into her mums arms in floors of tears. Just a minute earlier, we were chatting about how excited she is to start school on Monday

SIL was shocked and said 'Why didn't you take her out?' I said I didn't think she was being serious

Now SIL has messaged me saying what I did was cruel, and to at least ring her later and apologise to her DD

AIBU not to?

What film was it?

What was the film?

What film were you watching?

You don't need to apologise. Don't offer to take her again. Your sil is being unreasonable.

What film?

What was the film

What does IMDb parents' guide say about the film?

Recovering her composure a few times doesn't negate that she had times being scared; kids are different so some would move on and others would hold onto the fear. I'd talk to your niece and apologise that you didn't realise she was very upset, not sure why you wouldn't? You can't decide what her feelings ought to be, she's just little and sees things differently than you do. I wouldn't take her to the cinema again though if she's that emotional.

What film?

Depends entirely on what the film was really

Dark crystal. (Independent cinema with older films on)

Your SIL clearly doesnt trust you and expects you to care for her in the same way she parents.

I might ring and say something like I'm sorry you got scared. I wouldn't be taking her out again.

She sounds really annoying

I would have apologised to neice there and then. Why wouldn't you?

You never wanted her to be scared and thought she was ok but you now realise she wasn't. Also I would have taken her out the second time she asked if not the first.

Is it the first time she's been to the cinema? She said she was scared. You need to apologise.

I already said to her at the time 'I'm sorry you're upset' and encouraged her to rationalise so she could enjoy herself

She has done this before with lifts. Yet when she's been to the exact same locations before with her mum, she's fine

Oh come on. That film was a completely mind bending sci fi for adults when it came out. She'll have seen nothing like it. YABU to have ignored her feelings.

For your own child's sake. www.imdb.com/title/tt0083791/parentalguide

If the child told you she was frightened / didnt like it more than once I think you should have listened to her & brought her out. Even just for a breather.

If I was your SIL I probably would be annoyed that you didnt listen to what the child was telling you.

What movie did you watch?

Never heard of the film but just googled the images and I can see why a 7 year old would be scared of it. I do think you need to apologise.

Sounds like perhaps a poor choice of film. Have you told SIL that you apologised at the time?

You didn't think that a child telling you repeatedly that she was scared was being serious? When would it have been serious? Children don't see the world as you do, and they don't experience it as you do. Your SIL is right. I agree with others that you shouldn't take her again, but I think you were in the wrong to dismiss her fears as you did. It comes across as you wanted to see the film and you weren't letting your neices feelings get in the way of your fun.

I just wouldn’t take her out again. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why would you take a nervous child to that film? You take 7 years olds to children's films. You see films like that with adults. You didn't do it for her enjoyment. At best you did it for your enjoyment. I'd be pissed off with you too.

Op, my grandchildren wouldn’t want to watch that either.