SIL wants me to apologise to her DD

[cheathimsilly]

I took her DD to a film whilst my DS was at school. It was a baby friendly showing, to be specific here. My own (baby) DD came along

I bought sweets along but she wanted popcorn and I fancied some too, so we got a large popcorn and a drink to share

Within 15 minutes of the show starting, she said she was scared. I said it's fine, there's a lot of funny stuff. Sit tight and enjoy her treats etc

She said again 5 minutes later, I don't like it, I'm scared. I said please will you just give it a try? Low and behold, 5 minutes later she's giggling at some of the film and fine for the rest of it

Then the credits came up, and she said she was terrified! I said what of? She said the screens gone black

My niece is 7.

Yanbu but you should still apologise, it's no skin off your nose.

I do the same with both my girls 5 and 8, there's always an intense/scary/suspenseful bit in most movies even pg that you have to sit through to get to the good/happy/everything turns out ok bits.

But I'm surprised she burst into tears. Perhaps she was struggling with the dark/intense bits more than you realised. Gone quiet rather than saying anything but on the whole enjoying it and not wanting to leave?

You seem quite determined to believe that this 7yo is rude, impatient and manipulative.

A cinema experience is a hundred times scarier than a dvd. My kids have watched all kinds of crap at home, but they can get anxious/overwhelmed at the cinema. My 8yo and 6yo are also always keen to be polite to their aunties and uncles. If they raised the issue of being scared twice, and were dismissed twice, they wouldn't say it again, even if they were still scared.

This is the sort of situation that happens quite often with my kids and their uncles/aunties/grandparents. Adults who are one step removed from the kids seem to always assume the kids are probably "trying it on" (my family aren't mean! But they would tend to be very dismissive in a bright, positive tone of voice)

Parents mostly just take their kids on face value. If a kid says they're scared, they're almost certainly scared.

My dd would have been fine watching that at 7. She found other films upsetting. I would just text your sil and tell her you’re sorry she was upset. She said she was scared at the beginning but as sil insisted she should see the film, you thought you should try 5 more minutes. She then settled and seemed to enjoy the film, perhaps a little bored in places. It wasn’t until the credits that she suddenly became petrified of the dark as the screen went blank. It is unfortunate she was really scared at the end but not something you could have predicted, so not sure what she thinks you should have done differently. You trusted her as the girl’s mum to know what she would be ok to watch. However, perhaps future, it would be best for her dd to watch anything, which may cause upset at home with her mum.

Or say the same to your niece. Mummy thought it would be nice so I thought bla bla and it was really only at the end bla bla.

Dark Crystal is basically unwatchable. I don't think modern kids can stomach it.

I didn't think children over the age of one were allowed at baby showings.

I think you owe her an apology. The film wasn't appropriate for her, and you ignored her feelings. Saying "I'm sorry you're upset" but forcing her to stay isn't an apology.

Lol I was so scared of Dark Crystal when I was little. Skekses <shudder>

Wow. Yes, you do need to apologise.

Today's kids can't handle a film like that. We tried to watch labyrinth and it scared the crap out of dd7. I had to switch it off as soon as the goblins appeared.

Older films were a lot darker than what children watch today. Pinocchio also scared my dc.

I think your SIL should say sorry to you for insisting you watch that film.

She was scared and you didn’t really listen to her. Her mum is also most probably her safe space so I’m not surprised she cried when she saw her. Bad film choice by SIL but not a great move from you not taking her out either.

It looks like a fairy tale film. I think the child is being a drama queen. I wouldn't take her out again. But to keep the peace I would apologise, just not take her anywhere again.

What does the drink and popcorn have to do with this?

Actually, your SIL also owes her daughter an apology. And if I were you, I’d think twice before taking her out again.

Your SIL clearly treats her like a precious princess and panders to her. Tell her ‘sorry she had a bad experience, look elsewhere for childcare next time’.

Also, when I was about 4 I was absolutely terrified of the Wombles! Even the theme music would set me off. I remember being dismissed by family “oh it’s nice music, there’s nothing to be scared of, etc”. I was still scared of the bloody program until I was about 10! Sometimes kids have really irrational fears, and learn to hide them if they are dismissed

Can you really not understand that having purchased drinks and popcorn would make someone a little less keen to leave after a few mins compared to not having made said purchases?

Weird and mean of you to force a child to stay in a film when she told you she was scared.

You had the power in the situation. She couldn't remove herself, she was reliant on you.

Dark Crystal was a scary film for me as a child at the cinema. (Weirdly I was 7)
But it was also my favourite movie. Make of that what you will. Obviously it was the early 80s and my parents spproach was I needed to toughen up. Treating her as manipulative is a quick route to not being trusted anymore either her.

I screwed up in a similar way with a niece of a similar age with The Princess Bride.

Ime films and DC have changed a bit since my late 70s/early 80s childhood. Maybe there is more terrifying stuff on the news...we need fiction to be more cosy?

I would tread a little carefully here if you value the relationship with SIL and niece, as differences over parenting and judgement can really drive a wedge!

Hopefully you won't have a massively anxious DC.

YABU, that film is creepy as fuck!

I remember going to see that film at the cinema when it came out.

I didn't understand it and was bored for most of
It

I bet she felt the same

Yabu a 7 year old would not be familiar with 1980’s creepy puppet film at all !! I am not actually not surprised she was scared. You like the film clearly, and thought she would. Yuo were wrong and should apologise.

To show what a wonderful aunt she is.

Gobsmacked at the responses here. She sounds like a drama Queen and attention seeking little madam.
she was obviously bored and not enjoying the film, which is fine, but using the scared excuse because she didn’t want to stay through it.
I wouldn’t be taking her again in a hurry.