SIL wants me to apologise to her DD

[cheathimsilly]

I took her DD to a film whilst my DS was at school. It was a baby friendly showing, to be specific here. My own (baby) DD came along

I bought sweets along but she wanted popcorn and I fancied some too, so we got a large popcorn and a drink to share

Within 15 minutes of the show starting, she said she was scared. I said it's fine, there's a lot of funny stuff. Sit tight and enjoy her treats etc

She said again 5 minutes later, I don't like it, I'm scared. I said please will you just give it a try? Low and behold, 5 minutes later she's giggling at some of the film and fine for the rest of it

Then the credits came up, and she said she was terrified! I said what of? She said the screens gone black

My niece is 7.

We don’t all deal with things in the same way though. Some adults love a slasher or horror movie, others hate them. And we can make those decisions as adults not to watch certain genres of film or TV. Children are reliant on their guardians to listen to their fears. At least, that’s what I’d hope anyway!

I say this as a teacher of 7 year olds and a parent of a younger child. I wouldn’t want to make any child feel uncomfortable or scared until they could decide for themselves what they wanted to watch.

But that’s where the problem is, children are crap at knowing what’s good for them. Letting them decide for themselves is not only unwise, but also can be terrifying for the child. Much better that the adult takes responsibility for telling the child where the boundaries are. Then the child can relax, knowing that they’re safe.

And I’d just like to add that our amazingly resilient, strong and wise older generation did not grow up being allowed to call the shots.
Do you think when little Edna, circa 1940, told her mum she didn’t want to eat the broccoli because she was scared of the colour green that her mum said ‘ok darling, you can eat it when you feel comfortable’?. No, I can bet you that she told her to eat what was in front of her and get on with it.

I'd be furious. You should have taken her out when she asked you to. When my kids were younger my son watched an 18 film at my friend's house when he was only 14. I flipped. Having said that, if your SIL knew you was taking her daughter to the cinema she should have checked what you was watching and used her own judgement to see if it was appropriate for her daughter. She knows her best.

That's actually a pretty dark film and quite disturbing for a seven year old. Some could cope, but I wouldn't blame a child who couldn't. You shouldn't have taken someone else's child to it, and certainly not made her stay once she said she was unhappy. You need to apologise.

Is the analogy that eating your broccoli and sitting through a scary movie are the same things? Also neither build resilience...

I totally misunderstood you I think, sorry, I actually agree with your first post 😊

I’d have taken her out TBH.
A few weeks ago my Gdcs (6 and 7) badly wanted to see the new Railway Children film.
So I took them - having thought from the title that it’d be a relatively gentle type of film, like the original.
Yes, I should have checked first, but how wrong can you be? When the film censors page came up just before, it said, ‘Violence, racism…’ etc., - I was WTF??? - and very early on there was a scene with a black US soldier getting beaten up by their military police, for consorting with a white woman. (U.K. WW2 setting.)

After more similar scenes my normally robust Gdcs were finding it scary and upsetting, so we left before the halfway point.

But her SIL chose the film. She was at least 50% to blame. Please read a bit more of the thread.

This

The SIL new of the film, but would she have made her child sit through it when she was scared? This is entirely on the OP.

Sounds like she was scared of the dark cinema screens and the experience, rather than the film. I would say I am so sorry you were scared, I promise I won’t take you ever again. Then that’s it! Don’t take her out again and let her mother deal with the drama.

Why would I be posting for a reaction on an anonymous forum? It’s the one place you can be honest. She may lack the emotional awareness but that is why she need to be taught that behaving in this way is unacceptable. Children shouldn’t be coddled like this, it’s how you end up with entitled adults. I’m not ashamed to say that.

Oh wow op. At first i was on your side and thought your niece just was a little winger, but i just googled the movie and watched part of the trailer and you legit owe her an apology. She's 7 and Is younger than the age rating of 10+ to watch it. You should have let her pick the film maybe? Poor movie choice, call and apologise

Good Luck

I mean I hope that the OP and her SIL have managed to sort things out in the past 6 months since she first posted the thread…
🙄

Whenever it was. The thread is still going and still flagging up 🤣🤣🤣🤣💀