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AIBU?

To have not let my DD go to school in a Primark seamless set

208 replies

Dramachameleon · 09/09/2022 08:56

Just that really. It’s non uniform day in school and she wanted to wear a crop top and those godawful see through leggings.

Shes worn mini skirts , ripped jeans etc into no uniform days before so i am not madly strict on clothes . The school is not overly strict but are quite hot on wearing the correct uniform, but these sets are just dreadful, and around our way worn by a certain group of teens which I don’t really want my DD hanging out with.

She went nuts , DH went nuts

Were we unreasonable

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Am I being unreasonable?

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Violinist64 · 09/09/2022 10:50

Totally inappropriate for school and I would not have allowed my daughter to have worn that outfit at any time. Despite what we would like to believe, unfortunately a small group of men would use it as an excuse to inflame their urges.

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arthurfowlermood · 09/09/2022 10:51

@ButteredJorts I had that t shirt!! :)

As for the seamless sets, they all seem to be wearing them, I don't think they are particularly flattering but they are what is in fashion and what the kids want to wear. The bra tops no, but the crop top that shows a belly button, I have no problem with. My daughter has this one.

To have not let my DD go to school in a Primark seamless set
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Brideandpredjudice · 09/09/2022 10:52

newmum1976 · 09/09/2022 10:38

I think it massively depends on the outfit. How cropped is the top? I have 2dds and sometimes what they call a cropped top, is actually a bikini top 😱 Other cropped tops cover most of their stomach, so I’d be fine with that.

Are you implying that the image on the left would be acceptable to wear to school?

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RampantIvy · 09/09/2022 10:53

We don’t live in a feminist utopia so as much as I agree that girls should not be told to cover up, it distracts the poor menz. This is the world we live in

I agree, sadly.

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KermitlovesKeyLimePie · 09/09/2022 10:54

@arthurfowlermood Are you saying that you would be OK with your DD going to school in that then?

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mam0918 · 09/09/2022 10:56

Our school expressly forbids crop tops, mini skirts or and offensive/derogatory slogans to non school uniform days.

You might get away with leggings (depends how see through see through is though) and I cant see how ripped jeans are bad (unless they are ripped really inappropriately instead of just on the knees/legs like normal).

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Rosehugger · 09/09/2022 10:56

Let her wear it. In a year's time she'll be wincing at her fashion choices from this year.

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RewildingAmbridge · 09/09/2022 10:58

Surely these outfits are for yoga/spin classes not school?
I agree with you OP , certain clothes are for certain settings, like pyjamas not being suitable for the supermarket

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Ki44 · 09/09/2022 11:02

Totally different your daughter owning clothes that might be appropriate/ok for a house party with her friends vs going into school.

People who are saying she owns so 'unclench' and whatnot - are just bloody stupid. I own a bikini, doesn't mean I should wear it to the frigging Office! Are people honestly that daft they think allowing their 14yr old to go to school in a crop top and see through leggings on a non uniform day is in anyway an 'unclench' it moment? Deary bloody me.

You're teaching her to dress appropriately for the place she's going. That's a life lesson!

We have in our office dress down Fridays - I wouldn't turn up in a crop top! Or a wedding dress, or a ball gown, or in bleeding sports wear! I own all of those clothes!

You're fine OP. Sorry she tantrumed but it would be a 'hell no young lady, back upstairs to change' from me.

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Beamur · 09/09/2022 11:03

DD's school have some rules for non-uniform days. Mostly no short crop tops or very thin straps for girls. There are rules for boys too.
I know some of the teachers really don't like the leggings and crop top look and it does distract boys (and maybe some of the girls) but I'm inclined to think if you have a non uniform day you have to accept that some of the kids are going to wear fashionable clothing that's going to be a bit tight and/or revealing.
Ignore it or even worse, compliment their outfits 😉

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Mardyface · 09/09/2022 11:07

Depends whether or not she has gone to school with it in her bag to change into in the loos.

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greystarblanchard · 09/09/2022 11:07

Yanbu. Surely a crop top even for non school uniform day is inappropriate anyway?

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Choconut · 09/09/2022 11:08

Is this those leggings that go right up your bum crack - they look awful. I wouldn't let a 14 year old wear them with a crop top to school. Mind you I probably wouldn't have let them buy it in the first place. Boys are so much easier.

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KimberleyClark · 09/09/2022 11:12

We have in our office dress down Fridays - I wouldn't turn up in a crop top! Or a wedding dress, or a ball gown, or in bleeding sports wear! I own all of those clothes!

Agree, but I think jeans and a rugby shirt are acceptable dress down Friday wear.

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newmum1976 · 09/09/2022 11:13

Brideandpredjudice · 09/09/2022 10:52

Are you implying that the image on the left would be acceptable to wear to school?

I’d be fine with it, because I know most of the year group would be dressed like the image on the right ☹️ It’s a very relaxed school with no rules on shoes, make up, jewellery, hair etc and the uniform is just a polo shirt. It’s not what I’d choose, but that is the school we’ve been given.

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SleepingStandingUp · 09/09/2022 11:13

The crop top not the bra top is fine. It's a belly button. Showing it isn't a 20's revelation. Lots of girls worse crop tops in the 90s. But it was a bit of tummy, not half my chest.
The leggings would depend on their sheerness. It isn't appropriate for girls or boys to goo to school showing their underwear so I'd also veto those low rise jeans that sit halfway down teenage boys bums

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Marvellousmadness · 09/09/2022 11:15

"but these sets are just dreadful, and around our way worn by a certain group of teens which I don’t really want my DD hanging out with.

Maybe those parents will say the same about your dd haha.

Buy your kid some NONE see though pants. please.
and no miniskirts to school ffs.

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Saynotothefishtank · 09/09/2022 11:21

Sunnyqueen · 09/09/2022 09:04

Hmm that is what they are all wearing now at that age, most of them anyway. I probably would have let her wear it or said she could wear the leggings with a t shirt or sweater

No, they aren’t “all” wearing it. A certain type of teen is wearing it and OP doesn’t want her teen in that group.

OP yanbu. But it would be better to veto the clothes when they’re bought rather than argue about when theh can be worn.

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SudocremOnEverything · 09/09/2022 11:22

I would anticipate schools putting students in crop tops etc into isolation on non-uniform day for being inappropriately dressed for school.

There is literally no way DS’s school would not have explicitly told them what would and would not be allowed for non uniform day. What they wear outside school is not relevant really.

I’ve never really explored what sort of stuff might be banned for teenage boys, but there will be a list (not as long as the list for girls, I guess). It’s just that DS would opt for joggers, a T-shirt and maybe a hoodie every single time. All pretty boring and non-controversial. So I haven’t yet needed you have a ‘there’s no way the school will let you wear that!’ conversation yet.

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NeverDropYourMooncup · 09/09/2022 11:22

Choconut · 09/09/2022 11:08

Is this those leggings that go right up your bum crack - they look awful. I wouldn't let a 14 year old wear them with a crop top to school. Mind you I probably wouldn't have let them buy it in the first place. Boys are so much easier.

They're brilliant for actually being in the gym as they are very, very comfortable - but otherwise? Nah.


If any of the local 14 years were to see me on the way home from the gym, they'd probably bin everything at the thought I could be wearing similar items as them. But to exercise, rather than be looked at.

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Teenagekicksmyass · 09/09/2022 11:33

My daughter has a few of those sets. They aren’t see through. They are the fashion at the moment. I was bullied mercilessly when I was young for not having the right clothes and it scarred me for life. So as long as the outfit was not see through I would let my daughter wear it.

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AgathaBrazen · 09/09/2022 11:37

My DD wears that shit as well. But it's what they wear now.

Just let her wear it.

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Aubriella · 09/09/2022 11:39

Underanothersky · 09/09/2022 10:38

Whats wrong with a CND t shirt?

Yeah, I think a CND t-shirt is tame?

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SoftSheen · 09/09/2022 11:40

YANBU OP, it's fine to give guidance and enforce some boundaries.

Women can of course wear what they like. Children, and a 14 year old is still a child, can't always do exactly what they want to do. This applies to many other things as well as clothing choices.

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arthurfowlermood · 09/09/2022 11:42

KermitlovesKeyLimePie · 09/09/2022 10:54

@arthurfowlermood Are you saying that you would be OK with your DD going to school in that then?

If it was a non uniform day and they were all wearing them then yes i would, no problem whatsoever. A bellybutton is not offensive in my book.

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