My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To be sad that Queen has died but can't wait for the sycophancy to be over

406 replies

bedtimestoriesforbears · 08/09/2022 21:00

I am no royalist but like many in the same position I am truly moved by today's historical news

It is a "once in a lifetime" moment for many of us and I am going to admit that despite strong Republican views I surprised myself by being knocked sideways by news

Not that it wasn't expected and that the Queen hasn't had a good life but by the sheer magnitude of what is happening

However other threads seem to be dismissing the fact that we can feel both - sadness that an elderly individual who was "known" to all of us has died and an unwillingness to join in the "grief jamboree".

I feel like I did when Diana died - I am struggling to recognise the grief others are manifesting and the absolute deferential attitude present here

I feel like this will just build and build and we will be exhausted by end of it

OP posts:
grayhairdontcare · 08/09/2022 21:06

No social media and streaming films or box sets, should stop you having to see it .

ThatsAllFolks · 08/09/2022 21:07

It's the bloody Queen. Still serving at 96. Last of her kind. Come on.

Qwerkie · 08/09/2022 21:08

Yanbu - there’s an awful poem making the rounds on Facebook, some maudlin shite about Phillip tapping her on the shoulder and them going to heaven or something

Towcat15 · 08/09/2022 21:08

You don’t have to join in anything. Watch Netflix, don’t talk to people for a few days, lay off the news for a bit etc.

Plus it’s only been a few hours ffs have some respect

JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 08/09/2022 21:09

YANBU. I'm slightly sad that she's died, but it was not unexpected. So I'm definitely not into this outpouring of grief.

Mabelstearooms · 08/09/2022 21:11

Qwerkie · 08/09/2022 21:08

Yanbu - there’s an awful poem making the rounds on Facebook, some maudlin shite about Phillip tapping her on the shoulder and them going to heaven or something

Oh god I saw that. Absolutely gross. And I love the Queen and all the pomp around the Royals normally. But those kind of poem as make me feel a little bit sick.

ScamelaAnderson · 08/09/2022 21:13

Keep it to yourself
Some of us want to grieve a one of a kind woman, one in or lifetime

HTH

AlwaysGinPlease · 08/09/2022 21:13

Just what @ThatsAllFolks said. If you don't like it don't watch/read. Honestly.

sashagabadon · 08/09/2022 21:15

Let people have their grief. It’s not your job to police it.

Johnnyfartpants · 08/09/2022 21:16

It’s not sycophancy - it’s a show of deep respect, gratitude and honour for someone who worked every day of her life to promote and stabilise the country, and further afield. So what if she had access to money that we will never know? That doesn’t detract from her amazing strength and sense of duty.

Don’t engage if you don’t want to, fair enough, but don’t denigrate those who want to acknowledge the price she paid for her duty and her country.

LampLighter414 · 08/09/2022 21:17

I agree with you. It is sad because those close to her have lost someone important to them. I wonder as well if she died before any of her close family arrived - perhaps just with staff etc present. That is also sad. But then I suppose millions of people die every year without their nearest and dearest present. But at the end of the day I don’t know her personally so I’m not that upset.

However the world keeps turning and life goes on, I won’t be changing any plans, will be rightly frustrated if anything in my life gets disrupted because of this, and won’t be engaging in the competitive grieving.

bedtimestoriesforbears · 08/09/2022 21:18

No I won't keep my feelings to myself - I have not in the least been disrespectful to the Queen, her family or anyone else - if you think I have show me please

I am utterly sick of the fact that we cannot comment on the fact that the next 12 days will be full of interviews with people who are just going to shout me down

She has died - that is very sad - but can we have some perspective too?

It's maudlin, ridiculous nonsense by many (not all) who are jumping on this bandwagon of grief exactly as they did with Diana - it is media-hyped hysteria

And no I do not think I should have to hide these thoughts or watch Netflix for next fortnight to escape from it

OP posts:
Helgadaley · 08/09/2022 21:18

Johnnyfartpants · 08/09/2022 21:16

It’s not sycophancy - it’s a show of deep respect, gratitude and honour for someone who worked every day of her life to promote and stabilise the country, and further afield. So what if she had access to money that we will never know? That doesn’t detract from her amazing strength and sense of duty.

Don’t engage if you don’t want to, fair enough, but don’t denigrate those who want to acknowledge the price she paid for her duty and her country.

Well said.

minou123 · 08/09/2022 21:18

I agree with you.

That Facebook poem is cringy.

I hope the over zealousness doesnt take hold. Or people criticising others for not following supposed mouring "protocol "

Woe betide anyone who doesn't wear black on the TV over the next week.

Ilovelindor · 08/09/2022 21:18

Well on MN you just need to look at all the hysteria that got whipped up over Covid and every tiny little disaster that's hit the country since. MN loves a good disaster.

I went for a walk after the news hit and I can assure you that life is carrying on regardless.

purplethings · 08/09/2022 21:21

Prepare to be vilified Op. it's a mass psychosis and participation is obligatory !

tigger1001 · 08/09/2022 21:21

LampLighter414 · 08/09/2022 21:17

I agree with you. It is sad because those close to her have lost someone important to them. I wonder as well if she died before any of her close family arrived - perhaps just with staff etc present. That is also sad. But then I suppose millions of people die every year without their nearest and dearest present. But at the end of the day I don’t know her personally so I’m not that upset.

However the world keeps turning and life goes on, I won’t be changing any plans, will be rightly frustrated if anything in my life gets disrupted because of this, and won’t be engaging in the competitive grieving.

I totally agree with this.

I honestly hope she had a peaceful passing and she had loved ones around her. As I would wish for anyone.

But other than that I won't be engaging in the outpouring of grief. I am hoping our weekend plans are not affected, but sadly it looks like my eldest's game might get cancelled.

Whataretheodds · 08/09/2022 21:22

YANBU. Like Diana's death, the vampirism is really distasteful.

I also find it strange that people think she was this sweet little granny when she actually used her privilege to protect her family's wealth rather than pay tax at the same rate a non - royal would have to. She took money from other people's pockets and put it in her own.

I don't wish her or the family ill, and i understand it will feel like the end of an era, but this guff about unstinting aervice doesn't sit right.

Kashmirsilver · 08/09/2022 21:22

bedtimestoriesforbears · 08/09/2022 21:00

I am no royalist but like many in the same position I am truly moved by today's historical news

It is a "once in a lifetime" moment for many of us and I am going to admit that despite strong Republican views I surprised myself by being knocked sideways by news

Not that it wasn't expected and that the Queen hasn't had a good life but by the sheer magnitude of what is happening

However other threads seem to be dismissing the fact that we can feel both - sadness that an elderly individual who was "known" to all of us has died and an unwillingness to join in the "grief jamboree".

I feel like I did when Diana died - I am struggling to recognise the grief others are manifesting and the absolute deferential attitude present here

I feel like this will just build and build and we will be exhausted by end of it

Fgs have some tact.

bedtimestoriesforbears · 08/09/2022 21:23

@Johnnyfartpants

It’s not sycophancy - it’s a show of deep respect, gratitude and honour for someone who worked every day of her life to promote and stabilise the country, and further afield. So what if she had access to money that we will never know? That doesn’t detract from her amazing strength and sense of duty.
Don’t engage if you don’t want to, fair enough, but don’t denigrate those who want to acknowledge the price she paid for her duty and her country.


The sycophancy is in the media not by people are genuinely grieving

Nothing I said detracted from the other things you say here - amazing woman who worked hard for what she believed in - I'm not arguing about that

Why cannot I not engage when she was "my monarch" too? Are you the gatekeeper?

OP posts:
HoneyIShrunkThePizza · 08/09/2022 21:23

I don't really mind people posting about it, but I am genuinely baffled by most of the posts. LinkedIn is quite strange right now considering its purpose as a platform. I just got a rude comment on a Facebook post I made two hours before the announcement offering something free (telling me 'fgs there are more important things right now'). I understand people being upset but some of it is OTT and seems almost...distasteful? Like they're dramatising and using the death of someone they didn't know for social media kudos.

TempsPerdu · 08/09/2022 21:24

YANBU. Nothing I can do about the blanket media coverage, but I won’t be engaging with any of it.

YourLipsMyLipsApocalypse · 08/09/2022 21:26

There is no place for people who are not sad that a rich old woman died surrounded by her family, despite the fact they never met her, on MN.

Even this one thread is full of people telling his off for not being sad enough. They couldn't stick to the sad threads, but had to come and wag their mawkish fingers.

CandyLeBonBon · 08/09/2022 21:27

Yanbu op. I feel similar. I think she's a woman who rightly commands great respect and affection, and yes, we're living history right now but I find the overt and performative grief ghoulish.

Especially the 'lying in state' bit. Just seems so wrong at the most private time of a family's life.

scissorsandsellotape · 08/09/2022 21:27

Qwerkie · 08/09/2022 21:08

Yanbu - there’s an awful poem making the rounds on Facebook, some maudlin shite about Phillip tapping her on the shoulder and them going to heaven or something

Yes I just saw this. 🙄

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.