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AIBU?

AIBU to be really annoyed/upset at first day of primary school childs lunch eaten by another

286 replies

charley39 · 05/09/2022 16:06

As the title suggests really.

Just collected my son from his first day of school in reception. Nothing was said at pick up by the teacher. On our way out of the school my son told us that he didn’t eat his sandwiches. Bit more digging and he’s told me that he didn’t get his lunch another child ate it all and he was given a baguette instead. None of it was making any sense so we went back to the class to speak to the teacher.

Apparently another child has picked up his lunch bag and they assumed my son didn’t have packed lunch so they got him a ham baguette which he ate half the bread off(he won’t eat ham only plain bread). Then she said they then realised another child had his lunchbox and they then gave it back to my child so I said oh so you did eat your crisps and cake and my son was adamant he didn’t get it it was eaten. Teacher then said oh I don’t think we had picked up on it quick enough.

Now I’ve come home I’m getting more and more upset about the situation. He’s come home starving and it has stressed him out the fact he didn’t get his own lunch which is a big thing for him. And the fact it’s his first day of school.

Also extremely concerned in terms of allergies etc if the other child who had his lunch had allergies. I feel like it is a big issue?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

1981 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
58%
You are NOT being unreasonable
42%
CodysFish · 05/09/2022 16:07

Downplay the drama for the sake of your son.

SirChenjins · 05/09/2022 16:09

I think - in all kindness, as I know the first day of reception is a big step for you both - it's just one of those things that happens in the chaos of the first day back. Just be very breezy about it, don't mention it again to him and get him to tell you all about the very exciting things that have happened to him instead. He'll be absolutely fine Smile

FruitPastilleNut · 05/09/2022 16:10

It's really not a big issue op. It's just one of those things.

When your ds is eating his own lunch tomorrow, he won't even be remotely bothered by it anymore - unless of course you make it out to be a bigger deal than it is, in which case he'll feed off your anger and upset.

Notjusta · 05/09/2022 16:10

CodysFish · 05/09/2022 16:07

Downplay the drama for the sake of your son.

Oh bless him. That must have felt confusing and worrying on his first day. Did he tell the teachers he had a packed lunch?

But I agree with this post. Play it down. "Oh dear - what a muddle, poor you, let's have an extra special treat/snack. Mrs Teacher will make sure it's all fine tomorrow" etc.

Oysterbabe · 05/09/2022 16:11

It's not a big issue at all, just one of those unfortunate things.

eighteenmonthstogo · 05/09/2022 16:12

Children almost always get anxious when they see their parents being dramatic and anxious.

Calm it down, play it down or this is going to do him more harm than good..

How about 'oh that's silly isn't it , the lunch box got muddled up - what would you like to eat... tell me all about your day, who did you play with ? ' ... just move the subject on. You can't change it.

SlowHandClap · 05/09/2022 16:12

That's unfortunate hopefully they'll be more vigilant especially regarding allergies
Thank goodness he was fed something though , that's all they could do when they realised to be fair

Brefugee · 05/09/2022 16:12

well it is an issue if the lad is hungry, nobody apologised to him and he just had a bit of flipping dry bread.

What are they going to put in place to ensure this doesn't happen again? presumably the other child just took someone's lunch and didn't have their own? is anyone going to talk to this child's parents?

For the sake of your son make a joke - but when you drop him off tomorrow tell the staff to check better.

MomwasCasual · 05/09/2022 16:13

Bless him. When you drop him off tomorrow just mention it again so that they can do a double check at lunchtime.

Don't worry about the allergy thing, they will be checking any child with allergies carefully (just not the rest of them!)

Ilovelindor · 05/09/2022 16:13

So DC and another kid got their lunch boxes mixed up?

Send your DC into school tomorrow with his name all over the outside of his lunch box, along with some stickers to make it easily identifiable as his.

Twizbe · 05/09/2022 16:14

Down play in front of your child for sure. It's one of those things that happen and if the school offers school dinners all reception children get those for free so it's not unusual that they assumed he was having that.

The teachers are learning about the kids too, but as a parent of an allergy kid, they know about those. This wouldn't worry me.

My eldest started reception last year and it was a much bigger adjustment for me than I thought it would be. It can take you by surprise a bit when you've been focusing on them so much.

x2boys · 05/09/2022 16:14

It's the first day everybody is getting to know each other ,it's a simple mistake.

PuttingDownRoots · 05/09/2022 16:14

Make sure his lunch box is clearly labelled with his name for tomorrow on the outside. Both names if possible.

Explain accidents happen.

I'm sure the staff will be extra vigilant tomorrow!

Twizbe · 05/09/2022 16:15

Brefugee · 05/09/2022 16:12

well it is an issue if the lad is hungry, nobody apologised to him and he just had a bit of flipping dry bread.

What are they going to put in place to ensure this doesn't happen again? presumably the other child just took someone's lunch and didn't have their own? is anyone going to talk to this child's parents?

For the sake of your son make a joke - but when you drop him off tomorrow tell the staff to check better.

He was offered a ham sandwich which he didn't eat the ham from. It's not like he was just given a crust of bread.

The other child might have just got his lunch boxes mixed up. They're 4. It happens.

Violettaa · 05/09/2022 16:18

Massive over reaction from you.

Your kid will get used to recognising their own lunchbox, and expecting what’s likely to be in it.

A mix up on the first day is something to be aware of in case it happens every day, and I can see why a four year old might be upset. But your job is to tell them that it really doesn’t matter.

TimeToGoUpAGear · 05/09/2022 16:19

I know how you feel OP but 4 year olds get things mixed up and even with a teacher and TA it is highly likely they were run off their feet with 30 kids to watch. They can't police lunchboxes individually and they did get your son something to eat.

If the other child had allergies I expect they would have been policing his lunch much more closely.

Try to gloss over it and be positive in front of your son.

My son's primary lost him in his first week at reception. Proper full on lost! That had a lasting impact on his anxiety and we ended up moving schools due to moving which was a relief so I do understand.

Hugasauras · 05/09/2022 16:19

Sounds like a bit of first day mix-up while teacher is still getting to know the kids. I agree not to make a big deal of it with your son, just a 'whoops, let's make sure we label your lunch box really clearly for tomorrow!' And focus on the other parts of the day. I'm sure teacher will be very aware of it tomorrow and it won't happen again.

pigsDOfly · 05/09/2022 16:19

Several posters saying it's not a big issue but it could very well have been if one of the child was gluten intolerant or had a nut allergy.

I think there needs to be a bit more supervision with such young children.

Poor little guy having his lunch taken. I think this would have upset a lot of children.

He sounds as if he's dealt with it okay OP so I'd be inclined to draw a line under it as far as talking to him about it.

x2boys · 05/09/2022 16:19

Brefugee · 05/09/2022 16:12

well it is an issue if the lad is hungry, nobody apologised to him and he just had a bit of flipping dry bread.

What are they going to put in place to ensure this doesn't happen again? presumably the other child just took someone's lunch and didn't have their own? is anyone going to talk to this child's parents?

For the sake of your son make a joke - but when you drop him off tomorrow tell the staff to check better.

Or maybe both children have similar lunch boxes, these kids will be four ,i doubt they deliberately stealing other children's lunches, its unfortunate, but mistakes happen.

Hugasauras · 05/09/2022 16:19

Allergy lunches might be stored separately to avoid this happening.

SirChenjins · 05/09/2022 16:19

Brefugee · 05/09/2022 16:12

well it is an issue if the lad is hungry, nobody apologised to him and he just had a bit of flipping dry bread.

What are they going to put in place to ensure this doesn't happen again? presumably the other child just took someone's lunch and didn't have their own? is anyone going to talk to this child's parents?

For the sake of your son make a joke - but when you drop him off tomorrow tell the staff to check better.

Yeah, no don't do this unless you want to sound like a prize idiot.

TimeToGoUpAGear · 05/09/2022 16:20

Oh and my other son told school he had packed lunch on his first day in reception!! He didn't and I have no idea why he thought he did. They called to ask but I was in a meeting and thankfully they gave him the school dinner! 4 year olds get confused!

Crunchymum · 05/09/2022 16:22

so you did eat your crisps and cake

Crisps and cake, the other kid must have thought it was Christmas!!!

Tigerstripes1 · 05/09/2022 16:23

Please down play it. Mistakes happen at school. I've had all sorts over the years. It might be your child making the mistake next time and you'll be suitably mortified. The teachers are still getting to know everyone so please don't be harsh to them either, looking after that many 4 year olds is chaos!

Dinoteeth · 05/09/2022 16:24

Op get over it.
I bet the kids have similar looking lunch boxes. I bet the teacher will have found the wee Johnnys lunch box and that when they realised wee Johnny had your kids lunch.

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