Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be really annoyed/upset at first day of primary school childs lunch eaten by another

286 replies

charley39 · 05/09/2022 16:06

As the title suggests really.

Just collected my son from his first day of school in reception. Nothing was said at pick up by the teacher. On our way out of the school my son told us that he didn’t eat his sandwiches. Bit more digging and he’s told me that he didn’t get his lunch another child ate it all and he was given a baguette instead. None of it was making any sense so we went back to the class to speak to the teacher.

Apparently another child has picked up his lunch bag and they assumed my son didn’t have packed lunch so they got him a ham baguette which he ate half the bread off(he won’t eat ham only plain bread). Then she said they then realised another child had his lunchbox and they then gave it back to my child so I said oh so you did eat your crisps and cake and my son was adamant he didn’t get it it was eaten. Teacher then said oh I don’t think we had picked up on it quick enough.

Now I’ve come home I’m getting more and more upset about the situation. He’s come home starving and it has stressed him out the fact he didn’t get his own lunch which is a big thing for him. And the fact it’s his first day of school.

Also extremely concerned in terms of allergies etc if the other child who had his lunch had allergies. I feel like it is a big issue?

OP posts:
Original poster
charley39 · 05/09/2022 16:51

I’ve assured him tomorrow will be fine and if he can’t find his lunchbag etc then to tell a teacher etc he’ll be fine we’ll all get over it by the morning but I was just upset that it happened that’s all. I understand it’s one of those things

OP posts:
LMCOA · 05/09/2022 16:51

He's stressing out about it because you are.

Let it go - it ain't that big a deal.

Original poster
charley39 · 05/09/2022 16:52

@Summerholidays204949393 youve hit the nail on the head. I’m still in nursery mode obviously in regards to handover and this was my worry about school is the lack of communication and today has proven that sadly. It’ll take some adjusting that’s all.

OP posts:
Cas112 · 05/09/2022 16:53

It clearly wasn't intentional, it was a mistake that happens. Just ask them to ensure in the morning your child has his packed lunch and make sure it's your child's full name all over the lunchbox

Highly doubt the other child did this intentionally

MidnightMeltdown · 05/09/2022 16:53

Now I’ve come home I’m getting more and more upset about the situation.

It was one lunch. You are being utterly ridiculous. Much worse than this happens in schools!

spiderlight · 05/09/2022 16:54

It happens, unfortunately. On his first day of Reception, my vegetarian DS didn't realise he had to pick up his lunch-bag from his hook on the way to the dinner hall, so he was herded into the school dinners line and given fish fingers. He just went with the flow. The teacher was very apologetic but it was just one of those things. It's a confusing day for them all. Hopefully your DS will get the right lunch tomorrow.

Doveyouknow · 05/09/2022 16:54

I doubt the teacher thought it was important enough to mention. They provided something else and probably thought the problem was solved. I think it's a bit of a shock moving from nursery, where you get quite a lot of detail about their days to reception where you generally only hear when there is an issue.

Doveyouknow · 05/09/2022 16:55

I doubt the teacher thought it was important enough to mention. They provided something else and probably thought the problem was solved. I think it's a bit of a shock moving from nursery, where you get quite a lot of detail about their days to reception where you generally only hear when there is an issue.

billy1966 · 05/09/2022 16:58

Get yourself a permanent marker and clearly mark everything with his name, including his lunch box, pencil case etc..

IMO they are essential for hanging on to belongings.

Icouldbehappy · 05/09/2022 16:59

I’m a (very experienced) primary teacher and also a parent. I can understand why you’re upset.
I cried my eyes out when I dropped my older boy off on his first high school visit because he didn’t seem to have anyone to walk in with! Most of them went by bus and had gone in the other entrance.
He was 12!!!!! And didn’t care 😂
And I’m not a precious mother, by any means 😂
I do completely understand. You want everything to be perfect for them.

Christmasiscominghohoho · 05/09/2022 16:59

What a drama over nothing.
its a mistake and isn’t a big deal.
Can’t believe you are upset over this. He’s not going to starve to death in the time he’s at school.

Soontobe60 · 05/09/2022 16:59

Brefugee · 05/09/2022 16:12

well it is an issue if the lad is hungry, nobody apologised to him and he just had a bit of flipping dry bread.

What are they going to put in place to ensure this doesn't happen again? presumably the other child just took someone's lunch and didn't have their own? is anyone going to talk to this child's parents?

For the sake of your son make a joke - but when you drop him off tomorrow tell the staff to check better.

You’ve never worked in a Reception class have you 😂
Lots of kids have the same packed lunch bag, most don't know where they’ve put their bag, or the bags are in one big box. The Bag Thief most likely also had a packed lunch bag, probably the same as OPs ds, and picked it up by mistake. Alternatively, the Bag Thief was on school dinners, didn’t know and just took a bag because he saw others doing the same thing. It’s extremely doubtful that the Bag Thief’s mum or dad forgot to send a lunch in for him.

ouch321 · 05/09/2022 17:00

This is not the huge event that you're trying to make out it is.

Caterina99 · 05/09/2022 17:01

I can see why you’d be upset Op. I probably would be too, although like you say it’s no one’s fault and just one of those things! I’m sure the school will be more careful now to make sure everyone gets the right one

My DS has allergies so it’s good to hear that they are super careful about food for those kids.
I’ve never had any bad allergy experiences with school, in fact I’d say they are usually overly cautious, but it is hard when you’re trusting them to keep your 4 year old safe.

FirstFormAtMalloryTowers · 05/09/2022 17:02

Maybe you could put a brightly colored sticker on his lunch box so he will know it is his if he is not sure of how to read his name (presuming his box was named).

My own son in his excitement on the first day of school vomited over the box where the packed lunches were stored. Poor teacher and TA had to discretely do some damage control or the whole class would have been lunch less. 😂

BestTeacherMug · 05/09/2022 17:02

The change from nursery to school is pretty shocking for parents. You go from having ALL the detail about their day to nothing.

I'm the first to admit this, and I'm a bloody teacher. I still find it hard, DS is in yr5 now and I still don't know much about his day.

And that's me working in the same school that he goes to.

VickyEadieofThigh · 05/09/2022 17:03

Christmasiscominghohoho · 05/09/2022 16:59

What a drama over nothing.
its a mistake and isn’t a big deal.
Can’t believe you are upset over this. He’s not going to starve to death in the time he’s at school.

Indeed. My work takes me regularly into primary schools, especially EY and KS1. The children are eating just about every hour of the day as far as I can see - snacks on arrival, fruit at playtime (or on demand in some classes - they can go and help themselves), lunch, biscuits at afternoon playtime...

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 05/09/2022 17:03

What are they going to put in place to ensure this doesn't happen again? presumably the other child just took someone's lunch and didn't have their own?

There are 7 boys in ds's class (small village school). Over the past two years he has managed to have the same lunch bag, snack tubs and water bottle as 3 other boys because they all like the same stuff. I can't imagine how many identical bags and bottles there must be in a typical class.

Lots of labels are required.

SheWoreYellow · 05/09/2022 17:04

I’d be really upset too, OP. I guess the thing is to reinforce that he needs to tell a teacher what’s going on.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 05/09/2022 17:04

It's just one of those things - he will also be losing gloves and hats before long!

Whereabouts are you that the reception children bring their own lunch? (And have reception class, so not Ireland)

Lemons1571 · 05/09/2022 17:05

I feel for you, I would’ve felt the same. Tbh I would veer towards being “that parent” and ask what can be done to ensure he gets his own lunch? Surely a school has a duty of care that each child should get some food that they can eat at some point during the day? It’s not like you’re asking for some special privilege.

My sons friend once had no lunch, as the lunchtime supervisor was adamant he wasn’t on the hot dinner list. So my son had to share his lunch box with the friend. The friends mum certainly made sure with the school that this was never to be repeated in the future (they would’ve been year 3 or so).

Not sure why all the posters are reiterating about labelling the lunch box, when you’ve clearly stated that this has been done over and above what should be necessary.

SnoozyLucy7 · 05/09/2022 17:06

charley39 · 05/09/2022 16:30

Just to clarify to everyone I’m not showing any of this in front of my son. I was polite and very respectful talking to his teacher and kept it all very positive that tomorrow he will get his own lunch.

also I’m not blaming the other child at all it’s not their fault.

i just don’t like the idea of my child coming home hungry on what is already a stressful enough day.

i also think I would have been far less annoyed if the teacher had brought it up with me first rather than me having to find out through my child.

Respectfully, you are making too much of a big deal out of this, which it isn’t!

There was a mix up, the teachers clocked on a bit too late but never the less tried to sort it out, and then it was home time. As for not mentioning it, at pick up time, this was the teachers first day as well, with her new class, it probably just slipped her mind. It’s not really something to stress about!

BotterMon · 05/09/2022 17:07

Pretty crappy but you need a bit of perspective. No-one died; genuine mix up. Chill your beans.

Tessasanderson · 05/09/2022 17:08

I havent read all the responses. I just wonder if its possible another child has struggled their way through the school holidays with a less than caring home life. Come back to school as a bit of a break from their issues and taken the opportunity of some proper food for once.

Before i made any issues about this i would ensure i had a little bit of understanding that things arent always black and white. It wouldnt hurt my own kid to miss out just this once to ensure another child gets a break.

Twawmyarse · 05/09/2022 17:09

Don't overreact, it's an easy mistake to make.

And get a black sharpie and write your ds's name on his lunchbox in HUGE letters!