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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be really annoyed/upset at first day of primary school childs lunch eaten by another

286 replies

charley39 · 05/09/2022 16:06

As the title suggests really.

Just collected my son from his first day of school in reception. Nothing was said at pick up by the teacher. On our way out of the school my son told us that he didn’t eat his sandwiches. Bit more digging and he’s told me that he didn’t get his lunch another child ate it all and he was given a baguette instead. None of it was making any sense so we went back to the class to speak to the teacher.

Apparently another child has picked up his lunch bag and they assumed my son didn’t have packed lunch so they got him a ham baguette which he ate half the bread off(he won’t eat ham only plain bread). Then she said they then realised another child had his lunchbox and they then gave it back to my child so I said oh so you did eat your crisps and cake and my son was adamant he didn’t get it it was eaten. Teacher then said oh I don’t think we had picked up on it quick enough.

Now I’ve come home I’m getting more and more upset about the situation. He’s come home starving and it has stressed him out the fact he didn’t get his own lunch which is a big thing for him. And the fact it’s his first day of school.

Also extremely concerned in terms of allergies etc if the other child who had his lunch had allergies. I feel like it is a big issue?

OP posts:
goldted · 05/09/2022 17:10

my worry about school is the lack of communication and today has proven that sadly

But it's not lack of communication. Your child has moved up a level and whilst not immediately, his independence and autonomy will grow to match. The school environment, compared to nurses will not, can not and should never be the same.

MrsWombat · 05/09/2022 17:10

I work in a school, and this is definitely just one of those things that happens in the first few weeks as everyone is getting used to everything. But I'm surprised they didn't make a phone call home to let you know what had happened so you could bring another lunch in. It's definitely worth sending them a quick email to say what your son said happened so they know to watch out properly tomorrow. I would hope you would get a quick apology too.

Drivebye · 05/09/2022 17:10

OP please make sure you use this opportunity to teach your son about speaking up. Did he to the teacher/ta? Did he ask the boy for his lunch? Just gently explain to him that his teachers are there to help him so he can ask them.

cansu · 05/09/2022 17:12

As everyone has said you need to stop making such a fuss about a mix up!

ClocksGoingBackwards · 05/09/2022 17:12

I would have felt the same as you. These things do happen and more often than not it’s not a big deal, but starting school is an emotional time.

As a TA I would have told you what had happened because I’d be mortified that I’d allowed it to happen, especially on the first day! The school are very lucky that they didn’t allow a child with an allergy to eat someone else’s lunch, and for that reason alone it should be reported.

Johnnysgirl · 05/09/2022 17:13

Brefugee · 05/09/2022 16:12

well it is an issue if the lad is hungry, nobody apologised to him and he just had a bit of flipping dry bread.

What are they going to put in place to ensure this doesn't happen again? presumably the other child just took someone's lunch and didn't have their own? is anyone going to talk to this child's parents?

For the sake of your son make a joke - but when you drop him off tomorrow tell the staff to check better.

They gave him a ham baguette, not a "flipping piece of dry bread". Nobody's fault he refused to eat the ham.
What else could they have done?
It's absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things.

SnoozyLucy7 · 05/09/2022 17:14

MrsWombat · 05/09/2022 17:10

I work in a school, and this is definitely just one of those things that happens in the first few weeks as everyone is getting used to everything. But I'm surprised they didn't make a phone call home to let you know what had happened so you could bring another lunch in. It's definitely worth sending them a quick email to say what your son said happened so they know to watch out properly tomorrow. I would hope you would get a quick apology too.

Apology for what? Another child mistakenly took his lunch box, the school clocked this and gave him a baguette. He wasn’t ignored, the teachers sorted it. Nothing to apologise for.

Hurrrrrah · 05/09/2022 17:15

It's a bit rubbish but he was offered some food, wasnt like he was left with no lunch. Our school has the nursery attached there's been quite a few incidents when my kids were in nursery (so didnt speak up) where the staff have thought no packed lunch was sent in, it was but somehow missed. They then had the school sandwich instead, I have really fussy kids so it wasn't eaten. I was more annoyed about being charged for a lunch when I'd provided one, that they'd actually eat. I didn't make a big deal of it, there are a lot of kids to get through lunch. I'd get a sharpy and write their name on the front of their lunch box and plastic container with the food in, shouldn't happen then. Bet the other kid was thrilled with the cake and crisp though, no doubt they'll be at home complimenting their parents on the lovely lunch 😆.

toomuchlaundry · 05/09/2022 17:15

Does he have snacks during the day? Do reception kids get free fruit, and if so would your DC have eaten it?

I can see the teacher reminding children tomorrow about ensuring they have the right lunch box before eating.

Encourage your DS to speak to an adult (maybe an MTA rather than class teacher/TA) if there is an issue

justagirlstandinginfrontofcake · 05/09/2022 17:17

Your first child in reception I presume? It's a massive change from nursery where you get told everything. Not worth getting so upset about.. be slightly annoyed, but really, not upset or very annoyed. Have a cup of tea and chill

Notplayingball · 05/09/2022 17:20

I just mentioned in passing that I would ask school why another child just turfed his lunch in the bin. Phoned school and it got resolved.

In these situations, stay calm about the matter. Don't let your child see it as an issue.

TellerTuesday · 05/09/2022 17:22

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Saynotothefishtank · 05/09/2022 17:24

Downplay it for your son. “Whoops, let’s put bigger name labels all over it!”

For the school - that’s a huge red flag. Yes mixups happen and yes first day is chaotic but food is something they should be careful about. They should have an eagle eye on reception kids and this could have been serious if a child with an allergy eg coeliac picked it up. Keep an eye on this teacher and this school.

Johnnysgirl · 05/09/2022 17:26

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What a charming post.

Saynotothefishtank · 05/09/2022 17:27

Drivebye · 05/09/2022 17:10

OP please make sure you use this opportunity to teach your son about speaking up. Did he to the teacher/ta? Did he ask the boy for his lunch? Just gently explain to him that his teachers are there to help him so he can ask them.

He’s FOUR in a new environment without his usual carers.

It shouldn’t be up to him to fix the mistakes made by adults.

CornishTiger · 05/09/2022 17:29

Actually this is something the teacher or assistant should have mentioned. It’s hard to get sense out of some children. my child wouldn’t have been able to tell me this with great sense and clarity.

A simple “Just to let you know that another child accidentally picked up Billy’s lunch so we got him a ham baguette which he wasn’t keen on. We’ll make sure we keep a closer eye tomorrow so no mix up” takes seconds to say. The parents can then brush it off to child as how funny - I bet you are hungry. Let’s get home for a quick snack and early tea.

HR313 · 05/09/2022 17:29

Trust me, you’ll experience much worse than this during the reception year 😬

CaptainMyCaptain · 05/09/2022 17:29

As a Reception Teacher doing the dinner register in the first couple of weeks is hilarious. They don't know whether they're having school dinner or not because their packed lunch is their 'school dinner'. I used to ask them if they had a lunch box and get them to show me but even that wasn't fool proof. The children are only 4 and get confused and, at this stage, honestly it's like herding kittens. Great fun but you can't follow each child around 100% of the time.

TeenyQueen · 05/09/2022 17:30

There are always at least 5 paw patrol, spiderman or iron man lunch boxes. Make sure everything is very clearly and visibly labelled and tell him to remember where he placed it. Lunch boxes get mixed up very easily when they are placed in the trolley.

Castleheights · 05/09/2022 17:30

It’s really not that big of deal. To say he was starving is dramatic! He did eat. You sound more upset than him.

MaryHoldTheCandleSteadyWhileIShaveTheChickensLeg · 05/09/2022 17:30

i just don’t like the idea of my child coming home hungry on what is already a stressful enough day.

Most kids come home from school hungry, it's one of the nicest things about coming home - knowing you can have something to eat and drink etc.

Mix ups happen OP. It's a shame it happened on his first day though but try not to worry about it.

Somethingneedstochange · 05/09/2022 17:30

Poor boy where was his lunch bag? Has it got his name clearly labelled? What happened to the other boys lunch? The other boy might have had the same lunch bag.

Johnnysgirl · 05/09/2022 17:33

Saynotothefishtank · 05/09/2022 17:27

He’s FOUR in a new environment without his usual carers.

It shouldn’t be up to him to fix the mistakes made by adults.

Show quote history

It was a mistake made by the child's 4 year old peer, to be fair...

Bottomofsmughill · 05/09/2022 17:33

Oh lord please don't ‘tell the staff to check better’! They will have the same thoughts about you as non-teachers would have if anyone came into their workplace and was that rude. I’m sure they felt bad and will be extra vigilant tomorrow.
Do downplay it as much as possible with your DS. “Oh dear, that was a muddle! It was kind of Mrs X to get you a baguette wasn’t it? What else happened today - did you play on the making table?” Etc.
If you really want to address it tomorrow maybe get him to show the teacher/TA he has put a new sticker and name on his lunchbox “so it doesn’t get mixed up today.” (But in a friendly way!)
The first day is tougher for us parents than the kids I think - hope you can relax tonight! 💐

itsgettingweird · 05/09/2022 17:34

charley39 · 05/09/2022 16:40

Zero drama here just saying it’s upset me that’s all. I’m not sitting here wailing uncontrollably in front of my child, everyone needs to calm down.

These things do upset parents.

Especially when kids are so young.

And especially their first day.

But you are doing the right thing to downplay it in front of him and to have clarified with teacher. Sadly these things do happen but your child will know you and teacher will sort it out for him when/ if it does.

Tomorrow is a new day and all that.