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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be really annoyed/upset at first day of primary school childs lunch eaten by another

286 replies

charley39 · 05/09/2022 16:06

As the title suggests really.

Just collected my son from his first day of school in reception. Nothing was said at pick up by the teacher. On our way out of the school my son told us that he didn’t eat his sandwiches. Bit more digging and he’s told me that he didn’t get his lunch another child ate it all and he was given a baguette instead. None of it was making any sense so we went back to the class to speak to the teacher.

Apparently another child has picked up his lunch bag and they assumed my son didn’t have packed lunch so they got him a ham baguette which he ate half the bread off(he won’t eat ham only plain bread). Then she said they then realised another child had his lunchbox and they then gave it back to my child so I said oh so you did eat your crisps and cake and my son was adamant he didn’t get it it was eaten. Teacher then said oh I don’t think we had picked up on it quick enough.

Now I’ve come home I’m getting more and more upset about the situation. He’s come home starving and it has stressed him out the fact he didn’t get his own lunch which is a big thing for him. And the fact it’s his first day of school.

Also extremely concerned in terms of allergies etc if the other child who had his lunch had allergies. I feel like it is a big issue?

OP posts:
Twizbe · 05/09/2022 16:25

I'm an allergy parent so just to clarify on that point. School are hot on allergies. They know about my son's they know the reaction he has. They know he has school dinners and they have a picture of him in the kitchen with his allergy listed so all staff know what not to give him. We also preselect his lunches at the start of term.

This mix up would not be an issue in relation to allergies.

Twizbe · 05/09/2022 16:25

Crunchymum · 05/09/2022 16:22

so you did eat your crisps and cake

Crisps and cake, the other kid must have thought it was Christmas!!!

I know right. Neither of those things are allowed in lunchboxes at my son's school.

SlowHandClap · 05/09/2022 16:25

Brefugee · 05/09/2022 16:12

well it is an issue if the lad is hungry, nobody apologised to him and he just had a bit of flipping dry bread.

What are they going to put in place to ensure this doesn't happen again? presumably the other child just took someone's lunch and didn't have their own? is anyone going to talk to this child's parents?

For the sake of your son make a joke - but when you drop him off tomorrow tell the staff to check better.

Fuck me , bit of an overreaction there , it's probably a first day blip
Unfortunate but these things happen , nobody has been hurt , the child got fed
That's it

BecauseICan22 · 05/09/2022 16:27

Unfortunate but really not the end of the world.

What a brave and kind boy your son has been on his first day at school. Turn it into a positive, do not be THAT parent.

Original poster
charley39 · 05/09/2022 16:30

Just to clarify to everyone I’m not showing any of this in front of my son. I was polite and very respectful talking to his teacher and kept it all very positive that tomorrow he will get his own lunch.

also I’m not blaming the other child at all it’s not their fault.

i just don’t like the idea of my child coming home hungry on what is already a stressful enough day.

i also think I would have been far less annoyed if the teacher had brought it up with me first rather than me having to find out through my child.

OP posts:
Hollyhead · 05/09/2022 16:33

I’m my now quite long parenting experience all children come home hungry from school regardless of whether they had lunch or not. A bit of hunger for a few hours isn’t really a big deal!

MomwasCasual · 05/09/2022 16:34

The teacher would have likely forgotten all about it though, because it, you know, wasn't really a big deal?

You child was given a replacement lunch.

I do get that it wasn't great on his first day, but these things do happen.

JubileeTissues · 05/09/2022 16:38

It's not a big deal. He's stressed and you're getting more and more upset?

He's obviously got the same lunch box as another kid. Dangle a keyring off his and write his name in sharpie on the inside. Job done.

x2boys · 05/09/2022 16:39

charley39 · 05/09/2022 16:30

Just to clarify to everyone I’m not showing any of this in front of my son. I was polite and very respectful talking to his teacher and kept it all very positive that tomorrow he will get his own lunch.

also I’m not blaming the other child at all it’s not their fault.

i just don’t like the idea of my child coming home hungry on what is already a stressful enough day.

i also think I would have been far less annoyed if the teacher had brought it up with me first rather than me having to find out through my child.

It's the first day the teacher will have 30 lots of parents to talk to ,i bet other kids have lost a shoe ,cardigan etc ,imagine speaking to 30.lots of parents about all these things

Original poster
charley39 · 05/09/2022 16:39

Not the same lunchbox teacher confirmed, his name is plastered all over it. The bag, the lunchbox itself.

OP posts:
shazzybazzy34 · 05/09/2022 16:39

charley39 · 05/09/2022 16:30

Just to clarify to everyone I’m not showing any of this in front of my son. I was polite and very respectful talking to his teacher and kept it all very positive that tomorrow he will get his own lunch.

also I’m not blaming the other child at all it’s not their fault.

i just don’t like the idea of my child coming home hungry on what is already a stressful enough day.

i also think I would have been far less annoyed if the teacher had brought it up with me first rather than me having to find out through my child.

Coz it's not a big deal!! It's the first bloody day, I am sure the teacher had a lot more important things on her mind than this.

I’m getting more and more upset about the situation

Ridiculous. forget about it and move on.

sweetsalted · 05/09/2022 16:39

it’s not worth giving it another thought. why the drama?

Original poster
charley39 · 05/09/2022 16:40

Zero drama here just saying it’s upset me that’s all. I’m not sitting here wailing uncontrollably in front of my child, everyone needs to calm down.

OP posts:
BecauseICan22 · 05/09/2022 16:40

charley39 · 05/09/2022 16:30

Just to clarify to everyone I’m not showing any of this in front of my son. I was polite and very respectful talking to his teacher and kept it all very positive that tomorrow he will get his own lunch.

also I’m not blaming the other child at all it’s not their fault.

i just don’t like the idea of my child coming home hungry on what is already a stressful enough day.

i also think I would have been far less annoyed if the teacher had brought it up with me first rather than me having to find out through my child.

You're projecting your stress. It is so obvious.

You have 1 child to collect, his teacher had 30 off children to settle into their first day of school.

YABU.

NoSquirrels · 05/09/2022 16:41

i just don’t like the idea of my child coming home hungry on what is already a stressful enough day.

That’s fair enough. But it’s over, done and dusted, tomorrow is another day.

Very unlikely it’ll happen again.

yikesanotherbooboo · 05/09/2022 16:41

My experience of 4 year olds is that they barely eat anything at school anyway.
Don't let it upset you OP, nothing serious has happened.

londonrach · 05/09/2022 16:43

Downplay it. Things happen in school. Didn't you have free lunches as strongly recommend that as makes mornings easy. In UK it's free for all children from reception to year 2.

EmeraldShamrock1 · 05/09/2022 16:43

Aw I'd feel upset for him too on his first day.

I'm sure it won't happen again.

Label his lunchbox.

I hope the other DC wasn't starving and couldn't resist once he opened it.

I'm sure teacher will recognise if he sets a pattern of taking other DC food.

Daniel Pelka comes to mind.

Original poster
charley39 · 05/09/2022 16:44

They provide free lunches but he won’t eat it. Hence why he ended up picking the bit of bread out of the baguette. And hence why he will take a packed lunch. I would love a child who just ate anything put in front of him.

OP posts:
Megapint · 05/09/2022 16:46

Shit happens!. Did he have a good 1st day apart from that?

Original poster
charley39 · 05/09/2022 16:46

Also not naive to the fact that there will be other things happen along his school journey. Just frustrating it’s happened on the first day that’s all.

OP posts:
Hadjab · 05/09/2022 16:46

He came home starving, or he came home hungry?

Stick his name all over his lunchbox and his lunch.

SirChenjins · 05/09/2022 16:49

He’ll be ok OP - it’s annoying but just one of those ‘pebbles in your shoe’ moments that happen when your child is at school.

Did he have a good time otherwise?

forrestgreen · 05/09/2022 16:49

Put a fancy key ring on his much box so it's more identifiable.
Practise what he would say to a grown up if it happened again. And when he'd say it! Ie in the line before they set off for lunch!

It's all part of learning sadly, how to deal with things that did t go right. Presumably the teacher thought it'd been dealt with at the time, they don't have time to tell you about everything

Summerholidays204949393 · 05/09/2022 16:51

Welcome to primary school 🤣🤣 zero communication about things!

DS came home with a big blister on his lip last year, (age 6) asked him what had happened and the gravy on his pie was boiling and it burnt his lip . Did school communicate about it - did they heck!

Its a whole different world from nursery!