AIBU to be really annoyed/upset at first day of primary school childs lunch eaten by another

[charley39]

As the title suggests really.

Just collected my son from his first day of school in reception. Nothing was said at pick up by the teacher. On our way out of the school my son told us that he didn’t eat his sandwiches. Bit more digging and he’s told me that he didn’t get his lunch another child ate it all and he was given a baguette instead. None of it was making any sense so we went back to the class to speak to the teacher.

Apparently another child has picked up his lunch bag and they assumed my son didn’t have packed lunch so they got him a ham baguette which he ate half the bread off(he won’t eat ham only plain bread). Then she said they then realised another child had his lunchbox and they then gave it back to my child so I said oh so you did eat your crisps and cake and my son was adamant he didn’t get it it was eaten. Teacher then said oh I don’t think we had picked up on it quick enough.

Now I’ve come home I’m getting more and more upset about the situation. He’s come home starving and it has stressed him out the fact he didn’t get his own lunch which is a big thing for him. And the fact it’s his first day of school.

Also extremely concerned in terms of allergies etc if the other child who had his lunch had allergies. I feel like it is a big issue?

My first question/comment: Is your sons name written clearly on his lunchbox? If not.. add it.

My second comment is that I am a cook at my daughters school and we get this issue ALL the time... maybe not the whole lunch is ate but pieces of it. Those students who will eat someone else's lunch will usually be moved to eat by themselves. When this happens at our school we give them a full tray of today's meal. We've had kids come in with yesterday's lunch so their lunchbox was empty and as a result we always give them a full tray of food. If the kid clearly states I don't like ham well then grilled cheese it is for the lad. The school could have done a better job at making sure he was fed.

While it is perfectly reasonable to be upset, don't make this bigger than it is/was. Make sure your child's lunch is CLEARLY marked, and tell the school that you do not expect a repeat, then let it go...unless, of course, there IS a repeat!

YANBU sounds like a right fuck up, hopefully it’s a one off

Make an enquiry to make sure the child that are your son's food has got his/her own packed lunch and not being expected to go without while the other children have got food.

Don't be silly, it was day one, all reception kids are entitled to a free lunch.

It just sounds like a bit of confusion could be multiple reasons why. Mixing up similar names, a kid not realising that his lunch was in the dinner hall not on the packed lunch trolley, similar lunch boxes even though Ops kids name was on their it doesn't really help the 4 yo who can't read. The kid forgot what their lunch box looked like.

I would love to hear the other kids side of the story but I guarantee that it's something daft, not a kid expected to go hungry on day one.

I would assume that the staff would be made aware of allergies?

If the parents are sensible they'll have informed the school.

Don't be ridiculous!

I disagree with all those casuals, this would have hacked me off. Where was the other boys lunch box then? Hopefully this won't happen again.

It would annoy me but reception to year 2 kids get free lunches anyway so they shouldn’t have just given him a ham baguette but given him the full meal for the day.

at this age kid probably got confused than anything malicious.

school response seems lacking though

I haven’t read through all the posts but I would have been upset as a mum with a son with severe allergies. Especially if he had eaten someone else’s lunch. This could be a case of being life threatening Thankfully it wasn’t.

Because my son had allergies and he was and still is a fussy eater. For the first few weeks in reception I had a small photo of him on his bag. Then we went on to one of those key ring looking things so he could easily identify his lunch.

The school were really supportive and those who had allergies and even a fussy eater’s pack lunch bags were kept separate from the others. Drastic as it may seam it saved a lot of upset and tears

Anyway hope some of these ideas will help him through those first few days.

The Op says he's fussy and thinks he chose the baguette.

Presumably there will alps be kids with disabilities starting school with more complex issues...

Kids who are on the child protection register.

Kids whose first language is not English....

They're 4!! Mistakes happen...
A
nd he didn't go without food... The school should be praised for this!, they noticed it and remedied it.

I’d be interested to see what all the posters who are saying it’s an overreaction would have done if it was their child. Yes, the pupils are four and likely to get things mixed up, but surely that’s the point. A school should be able to ensure a four year old gets the lunch prepared for them and in their own lunchbox. I would have been annoyed as well to say the least but tried not to let my child see it. I hope day 2 goes better x

It’s one if those things. I’d label his lunch box clearly with his name going forward. It’s unfortunate that it was his first day but I would just tell him that going forward his name is in the lunchbox and he can tell the teacher that so there is no confusion. No point getting worked up over it over 1 incident OP.

As young kids can't always read the labels, how about adding a photo of your son with his name (maybe just first name and initial) or a picture of his favourite toy onto his lunchbox so he can recognise it.

Op had the lunch box named.
However these are 4 year olds on first day at school no guarantee they recognise their own names written down.
No guarantee that the teacher whos just met these 30 kids won't mix the names up.
No guarantee two kids don't have similar names or lunchboxes.
No guarantee they can remember what their box looked like.

Hope he had a better 2nd day. Lots more things to cope with at school and mostly them learning to get on with it, teachers have little time for interaction with parents. It wasn’t that he didn’t have anything else to eat, his choice to eat half the baguette and consequences to be hungry. Unless there’s something more behind it, it’s probably one of those moments you will both remember and laugh at when he’s older.

This

@ladydoris literally no point to your response. Glad you got a laugh out of it 🙄

No, there is none, I absolutely agree. I wanted to say, oh poor thing, and say to downplay it but we are already 24h+, and there is tons of good advice, and the OP worded it so well, I read it a second time. That could be the opening of a book or a film really. I could not stop laughing. I had to go wipe my tears. Sorry. It happens.

@ladydoris some vile people out there to laugh at someone else’s expense

Are you on the right thread?

Oh? How interesting. Not all laughter is a mockery.

@ladydoris Your clearly not laughing in a sympathetic way. Don’t know why some people feel the need to make a comment. Just move along with your day. You do you.