AIBU to be really annoyed/upset at first day of primary school childs lunch eaten by another

[charley39]

As the title suggests really.

Just collected my son from his first day of school in reception. Nothing was said at pick up by the teacher. On our way out of the school my son told us that he didn’t eat his sandwiches. Bit more digging and he’s told me that he didn’t get his lunch another child ate it all and he was given a baguette instead. None of it was making any sense so we went back to the class to speak to the teacher.

Apparently another child has picked up his lunch bag and they assumed my son didn’t have packed lunch so they got him a ham baguette which he ate half the bread off(he won’t eat ham only plain bread). Then she said they then realised another child had his lunchbox and they then gave it back to my child so I said oh so you did eat your crisps and cake and my son was adamant he didn’t get it it was eaten. Teacher then said oh I don’t think we had picked up on it quick enough.

Now I’ve come home I’m getting more and more upset about the situation. He’s come home starving and it has stressed him out the fact he didn’t get his own lunch which is a big thing for him. And the fact it’s his first day of school.

Also extremely concerned in terms of allergies etc if the other child who had his lunch had allergies. I feel like it is a big issue?

Who said anything about his lunch being tuffed in the bin?

The other kid most likely ate it, and school wouldn't want to give the Ops child the other kids lunch, for hygiene reasons.
That is assuming that the other kid wasn't meant to be on school dinner and got confused. 4 yos first day at school all new, all very confusing.

I’d be feeling exactly how you are, OP. I’d feel like it’s tainted his first day as you put in a lot of effort to make sure he’d adequate food but I agree with putting a positive spin on it and onwards and upwards.

I wet myself in front of the whole class at my first day in primary school, as I was too shy to ask where the bathroom was. I'd started a month late and had been in that particular classroom less than one hour.

I got royally told off by my parents when they found out at the end of the day. So yeah, his first day could have been a hell of a lot worse...

Crisps and cake!!! Pray tell what school this is?
Hinestly, you’ll laugh at this in a few years (and believe me, there is a lot worse than this to come).
Give him extra fruit/yoghurt after dinner/tea in true MN style.

I saw a chap going into a bank the other day and he had a large briefcase chained to his wrist. Initially I thought it must be a delivery of cash but now I'm beginning to wonder if it was his lunch box.

This. You need to calm down. I say that gently because I know starting reception is a big deal for some. You can't approach every problem like its a massive issue. It's fine they got him some food. It's one lunch and won't happen again.

Print out a large photo of your son with his name underneath, laminate it and tape it to the front of his box. Then he and everyone else knows it's his.

My mother gave me a name that's spelt the Scottish way and I was able to write my name and address when I went to school just before my 5th birthday. She had to go and see my teacher as they kept calling me a slightly different name and spelling it incorrectly.

Don't worry about the allergy thing, they will be checking any child with allergies carefully (just not the rest of them!)

From my experience this is unlikely. Maybe. Who knows?

I would take DC in tomorrow, show teacher his lunch bag and say “I want him to have his own lunch today” with a smile and a nod. I do appreciate people saying to calm down about it but I would be furious if it was my child, especially if they have been hungry all day due to the schools chaos.

Put him on school dinners tomorrow or you're gonna be stressing for the next seven years over crisps and a cake.

Chill your beans. They are 4/5. It was an honest mistake and the teachers picked up on it and did their best. If it kept happening fair enough but it's one time. Give them a chance.

Annoying but not a big issue. Move on!

What’s all this crap about ‘calming down’? The OP sounds perfectly calm and reasonable and has explained she’s not made a big thing of it to her DS. I can totally understand why it got to you. TBH, it all sounds a bit lax. If the lunchboxes weren’t the same, then it looks like the child just chose a random one. The teacher/TA should have explained how lunch-time works.

A similar thing happened to me in Infants but not on the first day. I still remember the boy who took my lunch and ate it in front of me while the teacher kept trying to tell me I was muddled. So yes, it can be a big deal to children. Many children have a strong sense of justice/rightness.

so where did the baguette come from? the other kid's lunch box? fair enough (but on the first day the staff should have been a bit more observant)

But elsewhere? meh

People are a bit mean. It’s a big day, of course you’ll be upset by this. But tomorrow is another day

I have to ask OP. Why do you describe the first day of reception as 'already a stressful enough day' for your son? Starting school isn't 'stressful' - it's exciting? Or it should be - if you as a parent have presented it in the right way, telling him all the lovely things that will happen at school.
So many parents these days use a language of 'stress' and 'anxiety' and 'worry' with regard to children then wonder why by age 8/9 the children themselves are describing themselves in these terms.

Best way to handle this is to laugh and say oh dear what a pickle I hope you and X had a good laugh over it, what a pair! Did anything else funny happen at school today?!

also tbh a lot of you are absolutely horrible about a kid on his first day at school having his lunch eaten by someone else and got a crust of bread.
Glad my kids school was a LOT nicer.

Perfect response

Thank you to those who are showing an understanding for the situation.

as I say I’m perfectly calm about it all. Tomorrow it will all be forgotten about and in the days/weeks and years to come there will be something else to worry about bigger than this I’m sure.

everyone surely wishes for their child’s first day at school to go as well as it can and for us sadly to hear the first words out of your child’s voice being that someone ate 3/4 of his lunch wasn’t what was expected.

yes he hasn’t gone hungry he was offered another option from the hot dinners in the baguette it’s his fault that he doesn’t like more food etc.

all of his possessions are labelled in several places and clearly

i have spoken with him about what to do if it happens again etc. he lacks confidence and wouldn’t have thought to speak up today I’m sure.

He didn't get a crust of bread for God sake.

You make him sound like Oliver Twist 🙄

He got a ham baguette but didn't eat the filling.

@KweenieBeanz unfortunately for a child that struggles with confidence and new environments it’s not as exciting but daunting.

i suppose that’ll be my fault aswell for making him like that😒

I’m getting more and more upset
unnecessary reaction, and why is it a stressful day?
This should be a happy day for you and your son.
Dread to think what your reaction will be when he comes home minus his blazer or gym kit.

It’s pretty awful. Yes, downplay it to your ds, but make the school-including head aware that it is unacceptable. I am a teacher & this would be taken seriously at my school for the reasons you suggest.

Think back, do you really remember your first day of school,
your son will have this story for the rest of his life, it will be an in joke one day.
I very much doubt that teacher will EVER let it happen again.

The OPs son didn't get anything mixed up. Someone had his lunch and he had a bit of bread.