AIBU to be really annoyed/upset at first day of primary school childs lunch eaten by another

[charley39]

As the title suggests really.

Just collected my son from his first day of school in reception. Nothing was said at pick up by the teacher. On our way out of the school my son told us that he didn’t eat his sandwiches. Bit more digging and he’s told me that he didn’t get his lunch another child ate it all and he was given a baguette instead. None of it was making any sense so we went back to the class to speak to the teacher.

Apparently another child has picked up his lunch bag and they assumed my son didn’t have packed lunch so they got him a ham baguette which he ate half the bread off(he won’t eat ham only plain bread). Then she said they then realised another child had his lunchbox and they then gave it back to my child so I said oh so you did eat your crisps and cake and my son was adamant he didn’t get it it was eaten. Teacher then said oh I don’t think we had picked up on it quick enough.

Now I’ve come home I’m getting more and more upset about the situation. He’s come home starving and it has stressed him out the fact he didn’t get his own lunch which is a big thing for him. And the fact it’s his first day of school.

Also extremely concerned in terms of allergies etc if the other child who had his lunch had allergies. I feel like it is a big issue?

All school will be different but I would have through the meal would be more than a baguette even if there were other options.

at my DC school it was a choice between two hot foods (one vegetarian) jacket potato or a sandwich. However if they chose sandwich it came with fruit and other snacks, and all of them came with a pudding as well.

so either the child is very very fussy and refused all options or he was not treated fairly

Poor little thing, I would be a bit upset too as it’s not nice at all to think of your child struggling with anything when you’re not there, especially on such a big day.

People on here love to act like they’re the most perfect, relaxed, unphased parents. As long as your child doesn’t perish at school, everything is A-OK. Personally I don’t think expecting your child to receive their own meal at school is an outrageous, entitled concept that will have you labelled as a lunatic parent for rest of time. Maybe if you were calling for the teacher to be sacked at the kid in question to be expelled people would have a point, but you’re just a bit upset, which I think any of us would be.

Guess teacher had quite a lot to do and wouldn’t really have seen it as a major issue. I think first days draw a really big emotion in parents, and although it’s understandable you are being over sensitive. Your son was offered some food and he wasn’t going to starve! Should think he had quite a lot of other things to assimilate and I’m sure you fed him well when he got home

Talk to the principal of the teacher can’t control the class, make the principle keep his lunch in his office until lunch time and make it give it to your son, also, the other child not being punished for STEALING sets a bad precedent, they knew it wasn’t theirs. The people saying don’t make a big deal are wrong, my mother never stood up for me in anything in school , you standing up for your son shows him he can count on you to always be on his side.

So four year old first day at school and makes a mistake you want branded as a thief? What an utterly ridiculous horrible attitude to have.

Talk about completely blowing the situation out of proportion by keeping the lunch in the heads office as well!

You do understand that sometimes mistakes happen?

Would you like the other child to have a detention or be suspended for their actions?

You also do not need to use UPPER CASE letters for us to I understand what you're saying.

@Joetuy what an over reaction.
What would you like to see as a suitable punishment for the wee kid who took the lunch?

It's literally day one Op has to work with the school for 7 whole years. Blow this out of proportion and nothing else she ever says to school will be taken seriously.

Can you imagine the heads reaction saying the teacher can't control the class? Labelling a 4 year old a thief on their first day, what a great start to that kids time in school.

I'd be annoyed as well. I'd deal with it like you have- like you say no drama etc but in the evening when thinking it over I know I'd get more and more annoyed! Hope he's had a better week of eating his own lunch!

Did the other child not have a packed lunch , I'm surprised no mention of talking to the other child's parents , your child should have been allowed to have the other packed lunch if there was one , I do agree best to play it down although I understand your upset as your child's first day . Would it be best if teachers handed them out though, sure that has been the case when my were children small

I have a DS just starting reception. They can pretty much all read their own names and know what lunch they have. In the excitement though, a kid expecting the school meal might have seen others grabbing a lunch bag and just thought "that's it". They're all new and just trying to do the right thing. They have milk, fruit and he was given a baguette so that would be fine for my DS. We were surprised the older kids all like the new school meal supplier so have just gone for that to see how it goes, dinner ladies let the teacher know who didn't eat much and if so they can get an afternoon snack from their bag. Perhaps you can give DS a secret little stash like that?

Some children are more anxious than others if unexpected events happen; it could be useful to inform school of the food issues and transition anxiety in case it indicates he needs some additional support. Either way, they're growing up and we feel that confidence in handling situations will come from giving our DS the tools to do so, rather than us diving in to talk to teachers. That's why during pre-school and as prep for school we've been working with DS on him speaking up about lots of small things, this would just be one more. It can be useful to have a proper modelled conversation; how might he tell a teacher if he has no lunch / water, what could he say if they offer him a food he doesn't eat, what might he ask for instead, what other things might happen that he'd need to ask for help with (injury, upset, feeling sick, got wet, spilt something, broke something), what would he do then etc. That way if something happens, he has already come up with his own plans to handle it.

The school probably have rules about giving children food, they gave him a school lunch from the school kitchen which they know was prepared to reasonable hygiene standards. And they can trace the ingredients if they needed to.
They have no clue what hygiene standards the other packed lunch was made to. If there was a packed lunch the kid might have been meant to have a school lunch.

The teacher may well have handed them out, she may have mixed the names up we don't know. Remember she had only met these kids a few hours earlier. Very easy to mix up similar kids names, even if she did label the kids.

Sew a prominent name tag on your son’s bag. And put a sticky label with his name on on his lunch box. Maybe animal stickers, too so your son recognises them. But I agree with posters who advise not to stress too much and make youe son feel uneasy.