AIBU to be put out by friends' kids turning up to grown-up dinner?

[VingtQuatreFaubourg]

This weekend we had four other couples, all old friends, round to eat and to celebrate various things and catch up after the summer. We all have teens of various ages. I said it was going to be grown-ups only so it wasn't too unwieldy/expensive and we could chat freely, relax and enjoy some nice food and wine. My DC were very happy with this and they planned a sleepover elsewhere. Childcare/other arrangements made by the other families (or so I thought).

On the evening we were all having a great time, and then halfway through dinner one couple's older two teens turned up. We were surprised but said hi, how are you, lovely to see you etc and expected them to just be popping in for a few minutes (they said they were on their way out to a party) BUT they basically joined us, ended up staying for hours, eating and drinking, a bit of 'holding court' going on, and it just completely changed the dynamic as they were so dominant - it stopped being a grown-up conversation. They are lovely kids but it was not the evening I had planned.

Their parents completely indulged and encouraged this (it's not the first time this kind of thing has happened, now I think about it, they seem to think their kids are 'special' and adults-only boundaries don't apply to them) and didn't say anything. Eventually DH gently suggested it was time for them to go so we could get back to the adult chat, but it was a bit awkward.

AIBU to think our friends and the teens should have understood that a grown-up evening doesn't include anyone's children?

Most mumsnetters, apparently, have so many friends that they can easily afford to sack them at the rate of about one a fortnight.

Quite right too. She came round here and, without a by-your-leave or kiss-me-foot, ate the last Jammie Dodger. CF! You're better off without. You deserve better.

😂😂😂@WalkingOnTheCracks

I went to a dinner recently and the guests were the hosts 24 year old and her two friends of a similar age. it was fantastic. they were candid and open and I loved it. but they were also ... adults! I didn't feel inhibited by them, but delighted.
but then no one had said don't bring anyones children. if I'd gone round expecting to have a tete a tete and a bottle of my finest I might have been a touch arsed off.

Definitely agree with this. Teens often have no idea. They think everyone will be delighted to see them. Parents at fault. I would not be inviting them again. ‘extras’ no matter who they are, nearly always change or spoil the dynamics.

Surely if you say "hi Jane, just wondering if you and Mike would like to come over for dinner on Friday" it's perfectly clear the kids aren't invited.
In the same way that if you ring Jane and say 'are you free on Friday to meet Sally and Julie for coffee?" it's blindingly obvious that Mark is not invited.

Why do some people have to have this spelled out to them?

My mother used to say, "children do not belong where adults are talking," and I agree. I adore my friend's children, love to socialize with them and find them good company. That said, it would consider it very rude if they crashed a party at my house, and I would be annoyed with their parents for not sending them on their way. I would speak to the parent now and say something along the lines of, "I'm afraid there was a mixup and I'd like to clear it up so there's no misunderstanding next time. When I specifically say 'adults only' I mean ones children are not included in the invitation."

Yeah I'd feel exactly the same OP.
Their parents must have mentioned it to them and said to drop by.