Cutting down on expenses. AIBU to take DS out of nursery for a year?

[SpicedAutumnPumpkin]

Name changed for that.

With the cost of living crisis already taking a stroll on our household expenses I am getting concerned over what is about to come in the colder months ahead. We are not on a minimum wage by any chance but find that our balance is not looking good after all the deductions at the beginning of the month. We went though those and can't cut down on anything else. For example a deliveroo treat once in 2 weeks is an essential for our mental sanity as we dont go out much. Our rent is about 900 which is very good for the place we rent and we will not find anything cheaper. Everything else just adds up. We don't go on holidays nor do we have any expensive hobbies.

Dh works full time but its a hybrid work with some days from home and I do some part time work online plus studying for a new qualification. We got DD who is 9 and goes to a state school and DS been going to a really lovely nursery for the past year. He is turning 3 in a month time. The fees are quite high and even with the funding available the term after he turns 3 will still leave us with quite a lot of money to pay even for just a few days a week. Especially during holiday times when we do not really need the nursery but have to pay for it anyway and the funding won't be available for those days .

AIBU to be considering taking him out of the nursery for a year till he goes into a state pre school. We used to do that before when my dh and I would replace one another and it worked okish. I can then take him to activities like swimming and football or just playgroups around to meet with other kids.

My friends think that this should be an absolute last resort and I am being unreasonable. But then it won't be them telling my kids that we can't do presents for their upcoming birthdays and Christmas.

You lost me at deliveroo

I have to say fortnightly Deliveroo is not essential for your mental sanity 😂
Don’t presents for your children come before takeaways?

Don’t get me wrong I like a takeaway treat but it’s not a priority!

If you WFH while taking care of DS, you will need way more than deliveroo to save your mental health

A Deliveroo treat really isn't essential for your mental health ffs.

Deliveroo isn't essential maybe move it to monthly or get one of the supermarket dine in deals. Deliveroo charges too many service/delivery fees.
Can't your DS start a school nursery soon? Mine went in for 30hrs funded at 3 then you won't have any childcare costs at all

If you work part time, could you pick up some more hours? Increasing income might be better than reducing expenses.

I think trying to juggle childcare, work and studying would eat into my sanity even more than no deliveroo.

But in all seriousness check your contracts/company hand book. Mine explicitly forbids looking after a child in work hours when working from home (though the phrasing is better). Could you look for a childminder which might be cheaper rather than keeping him home altogether?

Yes @WannabeMathematician my company also explicity forbids it

I don't think it's a bad thing in all honesty. Once he goes to pre school next year, he'll then be in education until the age of 16 at the very least. I think this is a lovely opportunity to spend some time making memories with him, he certainly won't miss out for a year, it would probably be better for him especially as you'll be doing plenty of activities. Also your bank balance will be a bit healthier and you that can only benefit the family.

He gets his 30 hours in a month's time, surely that will help?

Op

if you truly think this, please do keep your child in nursery. For their sanity development

Why can't he go to a state nursery school once he is 3, or aren't you in the UK? 15 hours are free.

Why can't you just use the funded hours? It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Deliveroo can go. It's nice to have but not necessary if you are struggling with money. Get a supermarket takeaway deal instead.

A takeaway every 2 weeks sounds a bit much, I'd reduce that to once a month.

School nurseries are free, is there one near you he could join? Mixing with their peers is really good for development at that age.

If your DC could go to the school nursery, you could then find a part-time retail job 10-2pm to bring in extra cash.

Doesn’t he get 30 hours from January if he turns 3 soon?

My DD went to a nursery attached to the local primary school. 9-3 mon-fri term time only and no cost as it was all funded hours. I was lucky to not need any additional childcare outside those hours though.

I appreciate January is still a while off, and all areas seem to be different with regards to the funded hours, but I’d look into those options before removing him entirely from any nursery setting

Lol @ Deliveroo 😆 maybe it should be prescribed on the NHS

But seriously OP, do what you need to do- you can listen to friends opinions but still do what works for your household.

He'll get funded hours which will surely help? If you're part time, then his nursery would basically be free? Just send him for the hours you're at work...?

How can you work AND look after a toddler? You can't do that at the same time.

Surely asking for more hours at work would be a good starting point?

As for the deliveroo Ha ha. Go ahead, claim it as good for your MH. Whatever. But don't try and convince anyone it's essential. It's a nice to have. But surely the £20+ every other week could better used?

My work involves teaching language online and my dh can easily take him to a local park for those hours. As I mentioned earlier that worked for us in the past. He goes to the nursery to engage with other kids not because I was finding it difficult with him at home .

As for deliveroo, yes, a once in 2 weeks treat is important for us. Thats when my husband and I can just sit together after the kids had gone to bed and enjoy each others company. We don't have much time to spend just the two of us. It is essential to our mental health as enjoying good food that we didn't have to cook and wash after helps us both relax. This way we also support the independent family restaurants that we really like and would hate to see them close down. Whats wrong with that???

Ffs this thread is brutal.

Op I think a couple of takeaways a month is fair considering that's your only treat.

Maybe look at cutting the hours rather than taking him out completely? Do you have any grandparents that could maybe help out maybe one or two mornings a week?

There's nothing wrong with that OP, ignore those that are critising.

But how can he just take him to the park when he's supposed to be working from home?

The whole thing about Deliveroo is because it's absolutely not essential to your mental health ti have food delivered to your house. It's a lovely modern convenience which you enjoy.

If you were struggling financially, and you had to pay your heating, and had only £50 a week to feed your family, you would not be blowing £20+ every other week on a delivered takeaway.

You'd magically cope with out.

You're choosing a fortnightly takeaway over your sons development.

You could recreate your favourite takeaway at home. You and DH could cook it together after the kids have gone to bed.

Sorry, son. Mummy and Daddy need a takeaway more than you need socialisation and an education.

If you do this you will probably need a Deliveroo every day

Op, of course it's not unreasonable to take your ds out of private nursery if you need to save money.

You really didn't need to mention the Deliveroo thing - clearly the money you'll save in childcare will be much greater and you must have known it would wind people up.

Will your current nursery really not allow you to drop him to funded hours only? especially as you don’t seem to need specific hours for childcare

I understand nurseries charge for things like lunch etc to make up the funded hours shortfall, but surely you could speak to them to work out the cheapest option so he can still go a few hours a week at least