Cutting down on expenses. AIBU to take DS out of nursery for a year?

[SpicedAutumnPumpkin]

Name changed for that.

With the cost of living crisis already taking a stroll on our household expenses I am getting concerned over what is about to come in the colder months ahead. We are not on a minimum wage by any chance but find that our balance is not looking good after all the deductions at the beginning of the month. We went though those and can't cut down on anything else. For example a deliveroo treat once in 2 weeks is an essential for our mental sanity as we dont go out much. Our rent is about 900 which is very good for the place we rent and we will not find anything cheaper. Everything else just adds up. We don't go on holidays nor do we have any expensive hobbies.

Dh works full time but its a hybrid work with some days from home and I do some part time work online plus studying for a new qualification. We got DD who is 9 and goes to a state school and DS been going to a really lovely nursery for the past year. He is turning 3 in a month time. The fees are quite high and even with the funding available the term after he turns 3 will still leave us with quite a lot of money to pay even for just a few days a week. Especially during holiday times when we do not really need the nursery but have to pay for it anyway and the funding won't be available for those days .

AIBU to be considering taking him out of the nursery for a year till he goes into a state pre school. We used to do that before when my dh and I would replace one another and it worked okish. I can then take him to activities like swimming and football or just playgroups around to meet with other kids.

My friends think that this should be an absolute last resort and I am being unreasonable. But then it won't be them telling my kids that we can't do presents for their upcoming birthdays and Christmas.

😆

I'm late to this thread but was a bit saddened to read some of the responses you've received OP so felt I would chuck in my penn'orth. When my children were small there was no state nursery education and no help with nursery school fees, so many many children didn't go to nursery. Now, thirty odd years later I'm in touch with many of those children who've stayed friends with mine. All of them have grown up to be normal sociable human beings, living perfectly happy lives in spite of not attending nursery. £450 a month is a huge outlay and I would think would easily cover the your extra fuel costs.
Your little one has benefited from the time at nursery he's already had and won't forget anything he's learned there by having a break, and if saving the nursery fees relieves the stress and worry for you, then it's bound to make a happier home for both your children.I am sure there are many parents out there who would love to be able to have time at home with their children, but unfortunately that's just a pipe dream for many, which might be behind some of the backlash you've received on here.
FWIW I'd say absolutely go for it, I don't believe it will do your son any harm at all and actually may hugely benefit you both. At the end of the day only you and your husband know what is best for your family, and whatever you decide will be the right way to go.. 

Only read the first page, but am another one who doesn't understand how the 30 funded hours isn't enough??

Or you can spread it throughout the year (so including the holidays) which is what we did, which still works out as 24 hours a week which is three days a week... Better than nothing?

yeah, read the whole thread - or maybe just the OP's posts?

Many nurseries required you to top up as the government pays very little for the funded hours. Unless your super lucky and can find a local pre schools then it's term time only. Most of the time it's never fully free.
My local nursery is still £50 a day with the 30 hours funding and you have to do a minimum of 4 days.

Top ups are however illegal (that changed back in the early 00s - had been permitted before that)

There are all sorts of sharp practices - usually about permitted attendance patterns or compulsory lunches - to get round the actual rules.

I think the old system, which permitted top ups was better, but it was abolished so that in theory at least any family could access their free hours at any nursery, rather than some being de facto ruled out by cost

@SpicedAutumnPumpkin does the school your daughter goes to not do nursery from 3? , use your 30 free hours there, he's getting used to the school and other kids he'll move up with and he's still in nursery but for free. Sorted.

Name change fail?

Oh sorry wrong thread

Actually yes - name change fail??

Your comment about Deliveroo for your mental sanity is ridiculous.
Could you not find a nursery or childminder that doesn't charge during the school holidays? I have found a childminder much cheaper for Child 3, and she allows us to dip in and out during the school holidays.

Never mind the exploitation of gig economy workers for 'mental helf' reasons.

I'm agog at the nine year old professional violinist. Is your surname 'Benedetti' perchance, OP?

The exploitation??? The nursery staff in this country are some of the most exploited underpaid people barely surviving on their salaries. Yet the government is not doing enough at all for the early childhood education. Not nearly as much as in Europe. Then we are all contributing to that system by sending our children in knowing that the member of staff looking after them often doesn't even have a paid lunch break! So everyone is suffering the nurseries that often have to close down and parents who pay too much for the nurseries anyway.

Also we try and order from the restaurants usually that have 'delivered by the restaurant option'. We even had the owner of our favourite family run restaurant often deliver food himself.

Your comment is unhelpful to say the least.

Only on mumsnet 😂

Wow you’re getting a bashing on here op. If you don’t have holidays, days or nights out etc I can totally understand why you need a takeaway once a fortnight to look forward to. I’m sure most people critiquing you are spending approx £20 a week per couple on some form of entertainment or treat. Happier parents equal happier kids for a start.

If I’ve read correctly, your ds doesn’t start school until September 2024. If that’s the case and he’ll be starting preschool next August I would definitely take him out of nursery for now. He’ll still have a full year to prepare him for school. It doesn’t sound as if he’s going to spend his time in front of a screen and he’ll have the rest of his childhood in school.

I’m a teacher and nursery or preschool does prepare dc for school but you can’t tell the difference by Christmas. Plus you’ll never get this time with your dc again.

Personally I would cut down on the Christmas expenses, as that seems to be a major cost and concern. Don't buy presents for adults or anyone except your kids (agree this in advance so they don't buy anything either - your friends will thank you for this). Buying presents for people overseas - skip this. Postage cost alone make this not worthwhile.

Even kids don't need piles of stuff. The nine year old maybe. The two year old though? I have no money problems and for xmas I gave my two year old a toy we already had that she had forgotten about. She loved it.

A little extra food for one day doesn't cost that much.