Cutting down on expenses. AIBU to take DS out of nursery for a year?

[SpicedAutumnPumpkin]

Name changed for that.

With the cost of living crisis already taking a stroll on our household expenses I am getting concerned over what is about to come in the colder months ahead. We are not on a minimum wage by any chance but find that our balance is not looking good after all the deductions at the beginning of the month. We went though those and can't cut down on anything else. For example a deliveroo treat once in 2 weeks is an essential for our mental sanity as we dont go out much. Our rent is about 900 which is very good for the place we rent and we will not find anything cheaper. Everything else just adds up. We don't go on holidays nor do we have any expensive hobbies.

Dh works full time but its a hybrid work with some days from home and I do some part time work online plus studying for a new qualification. We got DD who is 9 and goes to a state school and DS been going to a really lovely nursery for the past year. He is turning 3 in a month time. The fees are quite high and even with the funding available the term after he turns 3 will still leave us with quite a lot of money to pay even for just a few days a week. Especially during holiday times when we do not really need the nursery but have to pay for it anyway and the funding won't be available for those days .

AIBU to be considering taking him out of the nursery for a year till he goes into a state pre school. We used to do that before when my dh and I would replace one another and it worked okish. I can then take him to activities like swimming and football or just playgroups around to meet with other kids.

My friends think that this should be an absolute last resort and I am being unreasonable. But then it won't be them telling my kids that we can't do presents for their upcoming birthdays and Christmas.

God enjoying a take away every 2 weeks isn't exactly living in the lap of luxury give the OP a break. I think you should take a deep breath and see how it goes regarding your finances. Reevaluate in a month or 2 how the nursery fees are effecting your finances. At the end of the day it is up to you and your DH how your priortise your money.

Couldn't you reduce his days rather than take.him out completely?

My brother teaches online and can select.His own hours, if you do the same can you increase them at weekends or evenings so your DH isn't working and is on hand for your DC

There’s nothing wrong with Deliveroo if you can afford it but you mentioned not being able to afford birthday and Christmas presents for your kids, which do you think should be the priority out of those two? We get Aldi frozen pizzas for less than £2 each (they’re really nice) plus some homemade chips and a couple of pots of garlic dip, hardly any washing up and feels like a treat for under a fiver.

I don't know anyone who would have their child in nursery other than the free hours if they didn't have to for work? Nursery is so expensive.

Honestly this is one of those Mumsnet 'how the rich live' posts.

Honestly OP the whole deliveroo thing is ridiculous, of course it’s fine to have a treat but to try and maintain that it is an essential for your mental health is a joke. If you couldn’t afford it then you would have no choice.

Thats when my husband and I can just sit together after the kids had gone to bed and enjoy each others company.

You don't need a Deliveroo to do that.... Just cook an extra couple of portions earlier in the week and reheat. Leave washing up the two plates and cutlery till the next day. Job done.

Just put your child in a school nursery he can attend the term after he’s 3 or even a local playgroup that takes the funding that you don’t have to top up there’s lots of options if you don’t need it for childcare and just his socialisation not just fancy day nurseries

Now i am not sure anymore. If DS is going to nursery to cover your working hours then i would not stop sending him. If instead you are sending him for more time than what strictly needed then i would cut those extra hours

This. Don't do this to you and your DS.

Deliveroo should steal this for their tagline

Deliveroo... for your mental sanity

Is this OP an advert for Deliveroo

Just take him out if you want to. But I'm sure there must be a cheaper option. You can choose to just have the free hours during term time, they can't force you to spread them through the year. Ask them how you can use the free hours to which you are entitled without incurring extra costs. Or find a pre school nursery and send him 2 mornings a week. Most take 2 year olds although you will have to pay until January.

I'd find a preschool for him that he can start the term after he turns 3 and send him there for his free hours only. Take him out until then if necessary. But yeah, the deliveroo every 2 weeks is not essential.

Children don't need nursery if their home life is reasonably stimulating and they get opportunities to play outside and play with other children but I don't see how you can work from home and look after a 3 year old. Unless you mean working evenings when he's in bed and weekends whilst your dh has him and this latter option is absolutely brutal.

Yep
This is why a lot of people (Tories) don’t believe that people are really broke

If you don't need the childcare then a 2 year old doesn't need to go to nursery.

He can go to pre-school from 3, if he’s 3 in a months time he can either start then and you pay for it until his funded hours kick in after Christmas (hourly rate usually much less than private nurseries) or start him after Christmas with his funded hours. Us and several friends have done that, does mean they are at preschool for 5 terms before starting reception but huge saving on nursery when pre-school is an option instead

Seriously, cut the deliveroo to once a month and you'll save enough for Christmas presents.

Can you stop the nursery a term early or something? Or yes, drop the days right down to the funded hours only.

Why is everyone so caught up in the Deliveroo thing? 2 takeaways for 2 adults twice a month does not anywhere near equal nursery costs! So it's not really relevant.

But OP I still don't get how you and your DH are planning to look after your child at home when you work part time and your DH full time? Even if it is from home. That doesn't seem fair on your DC, yourselves or your workplaces.

There is nothing wrong with a Deliveroo every 2 weeks, until you say you can’t buy your children Christmas or birthday presents. At that point I would be scrapped the Deliveroo!

when you get your 30 hours I would find a nursery/preschool that takes them and doesn’t charge lots of extras on top. I’m sure you can get it cheaper if you look at other options. My daughters preschool doesn’t charge anything on top of the 30 hours as we send a packed lunch.

Oh my goodness still on Deliveroo bit. Our nursery costs are just under 500 pounds whilst our deliveroo is 40 pounds per month. We can only qualify for the funding from January but we still have got to live till then. State pre-school is full atm but we are on the waiting list to start next August.

I wouldn't be posting this thread if I wasn't genuinely thinking that our winter will be tough as we barely get to the end of the month atm without going into overdraft. We don't do holidays, don't smoke, don't drink alcohol at all so yes a takeaway is 'our' time. I work flexible hours so yes I can do loads of education staff when I am not teaching with my son and daughter in the meantime.

But thanks everyone for the support . Yes Deliveroo has proven to be much more helpful for my mental health than asking for any advice on mumsnet. People tear each other apart here like animals.

Not Nursery costs but she said she will have to tell the kids they can’t have birthday or Christmas presents. Delivery twice a month = maybe £40-50 a month. £50 a month over 6 months would be £300, which would be a fantastic Christmas for two kids.

You said you can't afford to buy your kids presents for birthdays or Christmas yet you spend £40 a month on Deliveroo. Of course that's not going to go down well on a parenting forum...

Given that nursery is such a huge expense, I'm not surprised you're thinking of this. Plenty of other people will be too, if they can make it work.

If you think you can manage, why not? Just check what your work contract says. It's often explicitly mentioned in the terms.

Get an m&s meal and eat off paper plates and plastic cutlery?

That's how you cut back.

Not refusing to work full time and holding your DC's social, emotional and educational development back.