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AIBU?

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Original poster

Expecting HIM to do school run?

771 replies

Brighton5555 · 02/09/2022 08:36

Just wanted to get a idea if I’m out of order .
My Dh runs his own business and works long hours normally getting home at 12.30am..

I am a stay at home mum to our child plus my elder child who has sen.

We have a agreement where Dh takes our son to school each morning and I do all pick ups.

He has said as he’s is working so hard at his shop it’s really not fair for him to get up at 8.15am Monday to Friday to do this .. hinting I should do it .

I don’t like school runs but do all pick ups. I also do all the housework / cooking / cleaning / appointments / admin/ planning/ paying bills / taking kids to clubs / activities .. you know the list is endless.

The only things my husband does is this school run and taking the bin out once a week. Nothing else .

some might think as I’m a stay at home mum I should do it but if I do ( I’m already up each morning and all the work of getting the kids ready for school is done , he literally just drives our child ) then he literally does one thing a week - the bin.

I could take my child but I don’t see why I should. I get he works long hours and in the summer holidays he’s been getting up at 10.30am every morning so to have to wake up at 8.15 he isn’t going to like but he doesn’t have to do it during the holidays / half terms and weekend …

Am I wrong ? am I being lazy ?

OP posts:
youagainomg · 02/09/2022 08:37

Can't you do say the school run Tuesday and Thursday and then your husband does the other 3 days so he can get a couple of sleep ins a week? Compromise?

mountainsunsets · 02/09/2022 08:38

Sorry but I do think if you're the SAHP then you should be doing the school runs. If he doesn't get home from work until gone midnight he must be exhausted.

SoupDragon · 02/09/2022 08:38

The only things my husband does is this school run and taking the bin out once a week. Nothing else .

well, he's working hard in his shop til gone midnight.

what time does he go to work?

Crunchymum · 02/09/2022 08:38

Why are his hours so late? Why does he work past midnight?

Sounds like he deliberately avoiding partaking in any family life?

Poppyblush · 02/09/2022 08:39

What time dies your dh start work?

Dotjones · 02/09/2022 08:39

As the SAHP you should be doing the school run. The home admin stuff like this is the trade off for not having to earn your living in paid work.

Original poster
Brighton5555 · 02/09/2022 08:40

It’s a food business so he leaves normally around 11am and comes home around 12.30am.

He works hard but he has no other responsibilities. He completely gets to focus there because I carry everything here .

OP posts:
JubileeTissues · 02/09/2022 08:41

"Why are his hours so late? Why does he work past midnight?

Sounds like he deliberately avoiding partaking in any family life?"

Maybe he runs a takeaway? The day doesn't end at 5pm!

Of course he shouldn't do every morning school run, you're the SAHP. What time does he start work?

Original poster
Brighton5555 · 02/09/2022 08:41

He is not financially supporting us as a unit. He pays me a monthly contribution. This is not a set up of that he is paying for all of my needs

OP posts:
user1473878824 · 02/09/2022 08:42

This has to be a joke. He works over 12 hours a day and you’re complaining that he won’t do the school run because you don’t like it?

JubileeTissues · 02/09/2022 08:42

You get to completely focus at home because he works very long hours earning the money. You should be doing the school run the majority of the time.

Whaleandsnail6 · 02/09/2022 08:42

I think since he gets home so late,you should do the school run in the morning. What time does he start work to finish at 12.30am?
I'd suggest he does more of other things to even up the balance but I wouldn't expect someone who didn't finish work until after midnight to get up to do the school run if I was at home.

southlondoner02 · 02/09/2022 08:42

I would do the school runs as he's back so late but look at the general distribution of work. Does he work every day? Does he spend anytime with his child? If he has, say a couple of days off a week then I'd be looking at sharing out the jobs more equally on those days.

mattressspring · 02/09/2022 08:42

some might think as I’m a stay at home mum I should do it but if I do ( I’m already up each morning and all the work of getting the kids ready for school is done , he literally just drives our child ) then he literally does one thing a week - the bin.

Take your child to school and rethink your weekly break down of who does what so he does more then the bin, but I'm afraid the school run is all yours.

DH used to take them if he was up but as a shift worker I would never expect him to wake up specifically to do something I could do myself.

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 02/09/2022 08:42

He needs to relax before sleeping so probably doesn't get to sleep till 2ish, you're expecting him to work 13.5 hours on 6 hours sleep yabu

Rainbowqueeen · 02/09/2022 08:44

With those hours then he can’t see the DC unless he does the school run. That’s pretty awful for them.

In these circumstances I’d say he needs to do it 4 days a week or find some other way of spending time with the DC on those days.

mattressspring · 02/09/2022 08:44

Brighton5555 · 02/09/2022 08:41

He is not financially supporting us as a unit. He pays me a monthly contribution. This is not a set up of that he is paying for all of my needs

So you have bigger problems than who takes the DC to school. Wrote it all down and work out what the biggest problem is, I can almost guarantee it's nothing to do with the school run, then start to work though a solution for each.

SparklyLeprechaun · 02/09/2022 08:44

I think the school run is on you as the SAHP. You can delegate other stuff to him if you really want to, that doesn't require him to wake up for the school run.

rookiemere · 02/09/2022 08:44

Torn on this one. If he works late then he should be allowed to get 7-8 hrs sleep, but if he didn't do the school run it sounds like he would never spend any time with his DC.

ThePoetsWife · 02/09/2022 08:44

Brighton5555 · 02/09/2022 08:41

He is not financially supporting us as a unit. He pays me a monthly contribution. This is not a set up of that he is paying for all of my needs

What does that mean? How are you supporting yourself and the DC?

Is there a reason why you don't work?

Middledazedted · 02/09/2022 08:45

With those hours a lie in is reasonable surely. Your kids go to school so the comparison of free time skews heavily in your favour. Be nice for him to do it sometimes for the kids ‘ sake.

SoupDragon · 02/09/2022 08:45

Brighton5555 · 02/09/2022 08:41

He is not financially supporting us as a unit. He pays me a monthly contribution. This is not a set up of that he is paying for all of my needs

Where do you get the money to pay for the rest of your needs?

Who pays for the house and bills? How is this not financially supporting the family?

category12 · 02/09/2022 08:45

It doesn't sound like much of a life together if he's doing those sort of hours and you're basically doing it all on your own at home.

Instead of getting mad about a small issue, maybe you need to look at the big picture of how you're both living.

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 02/09/2022 08:46

Do the bloody school run. The poor bloke is working 13/14 hour shifts and you're moaning because you can't be arsed to take your kids to school.

Middledazedted · 02/09/2022 08:46

Why doesn’t he support you as a unit? How do you manage? This is the bigger issue?

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