Expecting HIM to do school run?

[Brighton5555]

Just wanted to get a idea if I’m out of order .
My Dh runs his own business and works long hours normally getting home at 12.30am..

I am a stay at home mum to our child plus my elder child who has sen.

We have a agreement where Dh takes our son to school each morning and I do all pick ups.

He has said as he’s is working so hard at his shop it’s really not fair for him to get up at 8.15am Monday to Friday to do this .. hinting I should do it .

I don’t like school runs but do all pick ups. I also do all the housework / cooking / cleaning / appointments / admin/ planning/ paying bills / taking kids to clubs / activities .. you know the list is endless.

The only things my husband does is this school run and taking the bin out once a week. Nothing else .

some might think as I’m a stay at home mum I should do it but if I do ( I’m already up each morning and all the work of getting the kids ready for school is done , he literally just drives our child ) then he literally does one thing a week - the bin.

I could take my child but I don’t see why I should. I get he works long hours and in the summer holidays he’s been getting up at 10.30am every morning so to have to wake up at 8.15 he isn’t going to like but he doesn’t have to do it during the holidays / half terms and weekend …

Am I wrong ? am I being lazy ?

[mattressspring]

I wouldn’t say his life is shit. He gets to concentrate fully on his shop without any worry and distraction from his wife child or household.

It's actually very very normal for a person who is at work not to be distracted by their partner or children.

He never has to pay a bill or attend a kids parents evening or do a food shop or cook or clean .

This is a situation you can rethink together.

he also doesn’t have the worry of being the full provider for his family . I am the main provider.

How. Do. You. Do. This.???

So many times by many people but you can't seem to answer


I can’t see how he can spend time on the weekend as he wakes up showers and heads straight to his shop. He is locked in there in terms of he cannot leave it or spend time away from it so my son would have to see his dad inside the shop and he hates it ( he’s young and it’s boring )

When did your DH get the shop, specifically in relation to having a child with you?

[luxxlisbon]

He never has to pay a bill
Except that he literally pays for the bills. Let’s be serious, paying a bill takes up almost none of your week. I can’t remember the last time I ‘paid a bill’ either! They come out of your account on the same day every month with no work…magic.

[BattenburgDonkey]

How are you the main provider if you have no job? If it’s from benefits from being a carer for your child I don’t think you can really claim to be the main ‘provider’. Stay at home mum should do school runs, but obviously that isn’t the issue here. You clearly don’t like your DH and feel you do everything, you need to address your marital issues and he needs to pull his weight more. I wouldn’t be happy with him doing so little everywhere else either.

[Beees]

he also doesn’t have the worry of being the full provider for his family . I am the main provider.

Ah cool if you're the main provider then surely the sensible thing for the poor bloke to do is quit his job and actually have a life. He is merely existing at present and who knows maybe he would love do all that stuff like parent s evenings, see his kids, pay bills and get a full night's sleep.

[Backtobacknow]

Compromise and share the school run?

[MiddleParking]

I’d say if you choose to be a SAHP to two school aged children, only one of whom is his, you should be doing pretty much every household task. If you don’t like that - I wouldn’t either - the way to leverage your position is to get paid work.

[knittingaddict]

If you are a sahm then you should do the school run. I was a sahm until my children went to school and I did most of the house related stuff. My husband worked long hours, but left much earlier in the morning than your partner does. By the time he got home the children were ready for bed or in bed. My husband did do what he could when he was around.

Wouldn't a better solution be for your husband to start work earlier and finish earlier. Working till 12.30 is no way to get any sort of home life. Why is it like this? That's what needs to change and perhaps you doing the school run will facilitate that change.

[Meltingsocks]

I don't think this post is real...

[musicaldilemma]

If it is the only one on one time your child gets with his father then you are not being unreasonable.
However, you and your DH need to spend time together too. Why don’t you both do the school run together for a while and walk back together? You need to find a slot to be with each other too. Otherwise what is the point?

[SleepingStandingUp]

Tbh I wouldn't think it really worth being in a relationship with someone who has no interest in seeing his kids or spending any time together awake. You might as well be a single parent and have one less person to look after, esp if you're mostly paying it all as you claim

[JubileeTissues]

Why would he be cooking and doing the food shop and going to parents evening when he works 13 hour days, 6 days a week and does 6 out of 10 school runs?

Jeez. And you're the main provider how? Because if it is money from benefits then it is probably there to enable you to be around to take your kids to school.

[Sunnyqueen]

I've got it - she does only fans whilst the kids are at school😂 poor fucking guy

[knittingaddict]

You've posted before op, haven't you?

I distinctly remember the person who is a sahm but miraculously claims to be the main financial provider and never says how this is possible.

[mattressspring]

@Sunnyqueen

I've got it - she does only fans whilst the kids are at school😂 poor fucking guy

Genius

[hewouldwouldnthe]

Oh for goodness sake. You are a sahp with hours of free time in the day and a DH who gets home in the early hours after working all day! I was a sahp for 8 years and it's a bloody piece of cake as opposed to juggling work and childcare. Your DCs are at school most of the day, you get a lie in at the weekend and no school run. Sorry but zero sympathy from me.

[ApolloandDaphne]

@SleepingStandingUp

Tbh I wouldn't think it really worth being in a relationship with someone who has no interest in seeing his kids or spending any time together awake. You might as well be a single parent and have one less person to look after, esp if you're mostly paying it all as you claim

I rather suspect she isn't though.

[knittingaddict]

@Meltingsocks

I don't think this post is real...

You don't say.

[Hurrrrah]

I'm so confused, you are the main provider but you are a SAHM? Your children are high school age and at school all day. Do you work in the day? You aren't a sahm if you are working whilst they are at school. Or are you counting benefits as you providing?

[Mindymomo]

If you are up anyway and school is a 7 minute walk away, I would definitely do that myself and let DH have a lie in. Yes your DH is missing out on precious time with DC, but unfortunately that’s the business he’s in. If he had a 9 till 5.30 job, he probably wouldn’t be able to do drop offs either. We had friends who ran a takeaway and had child in same class, I did the drop offs and they did the collecting. This worked for over 6 years.

[BradPittsLeftTit]

You also seem at pains to say how much you do around the house and that is why you cannot work while your children are at school from 9-3pm.
Do you redecorate your house every week? That is the only way I can fathom that you are busy all of the time while they are at school?

[Mammyloveswine]

@knittingaddict

You've posted before op, haven't you?

I distinctly remember the person who is a sahm but miraculously claims to be the main financial provider and never says how this is possible.

Haha dying to know how!

[TulipVictory]

You should be doing the school run, if I could afford to be a stay at home Mum then I would but we need both mine and my Husbands wage to pay the bills! I certainly wouldn't be complaining about doing a morning school run 🤷‍♀️

[hewouldwouldnthe]

I have never read such an unreasonable and entitled post on mumsnet, ever,

[naomi81]

Sounds like he's checking out of family life, is this business profitable? A new start up? Sounds like super long hours... and not bringing home the money needed, yes I would be annoyed also.

[mattressspring]

Oh my god I have just don't an advanced searched and read about how OP thought she should be consulted about who her DH employed and was unhappy because he helot a female delivery driver. I don't normally bring an AS to the thread but Jesus Christ how controlling of OP.

I swear the solution here is divorce. Poor man.