Expecting HIM to do school run?

ok what would be more reasonable is if you did nursery drop off. But weekends and holidays he pulls his weight with the kids and you get a lie in. Its hard juggling small kids. I’m a sahm but I get an extra hour in bed on weekends because I’m up early with DD during the week and obviously all holidays etc are on me unless DH has leave. DH also takes DD for a few hours every weekend to give me some downtime and does a lot of the night wake ups.

I get why you are resentful if you feel like you are doing all the parenting.

This sounds really hard. For you both. I'd be unhappy if I had to do every school run and everything else in the house too. But, I'd also be pretty unhappy working until after midnight every night.

The 2 of you need to talk and start acting like a team. Take into account your entire lives and start working out a plan that means you're both better off, in terms of the split of who does what.

The only thing I can't understand is how you're paying for your life if his wage isn't going entirely into the household budget.

Are any of these his children?

If he’s not fully supporting you then where are you getting the rest of the money from since you don’t work?

No one likes doing the school run but you're the SAHP, so get on with it.
Why on earth would you expect him to get up early to take the kids to school just cause you don't like it, when he's then going to work for 12 hours. Christ, have you ever done a 12hour shift and getting home after midnight? Poor guy.

You haven't explained how the family unit is functioning if DH doesn't fully support all four of you financially.

OP! Your working really hard inside the home, Is that literally just running the house/children (which pretty much everybody else has to do) or are you actually working a job from home?

Either way, I think that you need to take the DC to school as your partner is getting home so late. You could reallocate him another task to compensate if it would help.

If you're simply doing the washing etc and not doing a job as well then YABU!

No I didn’t mention my sen child for sympathy. I mentioned them as they are part of my family and the morning unit …. They have just started walking to school at 15 years old . The school is 7 mins walk away. He is supported on the walk via mobile phone …

You are like a leaky tap OP.

Now, where do you get your money from?

This is hard to judge as you are being evasive about your finances. Does your DH provide for the house, but not your elder child as he gets maintenance or disability? So your DH pays the mortgage and bills but you get some contribution for your eldest? I agree with the others that YABU and should do the school run considering how long and hard you’re DH works

Who supports the family financially if he only makes a 'contribution' ?

Yes YABVU about the school run.

Oh wait, OP probably gets DLA for her eldest, plus carers and maintenance from their father.

I dont think it's unreasonable that he doesn't get up to do school runs after not getting home from work til the early hours.

I do think it unreasonable that he does nothing else towards the running of the home and childcare at other times.

When you say he’s not fully financially supporting you, do you mean he’s giving part of his salary to you as his family and another part of it he keeps? That’s being unreasonable, the whole reason he has the ability to go out to work is because you’re running the house while he’s out.

As for the school run, I think you’re going to have to suck it up I’m afraid. I don’t LIKE having to go out to work, I don’t LIKE having to come home and clean the house, I don’t LIKE that the washing basket never seems to be empty. But I get on with it. I don’t actually mind the school runs, I walk my child to school and it’s a chance to spend a bit of precious time together before rushing off to work.

If he's not fully supporting you financially, and you don't work, where is the rest of your money coming from?

I do think that the school runs should be with you as you're the sahp.

However he should be 50/50 with the children whilst he's at home

I suspect it is much easier to get an uncooperative man to do one specific job (school run) rather than trying to get him to pull his weight in the hours he isn't working. But maybe he could have a specific thing (do the dishes every evening) that could be of similar weight.

You should do the school run.You sound lazy.

YABU. Getting him do the school just on principle is pointlessly mean. I’d understand if you both got home late, but only he does. You should do school run.

And if you’re frustrated by finances could you not get a job? Both kids are at school, so there’s no reason not to and then you can both share house tasks.

Does he work 7 days a week ? Tbh if he's not getting to bed till 1/2 ish then I'd not be happy getting up to do the school run. What does he do when he gets back home ?

When you say he’s not fully financially supporting you, do you mean he’s giving part of his salary to you as his family and another part of it he keeps? That’s being unreasonable,

It's not unreasonable at all. In fact it's completely normal for couples to work this way. Some put X amount into the pot and their savings then have what's left to spend. Others put it all in, set bill and savings aside and split what's left.

Are you suggesting he should t be giving up all of his wage to a woman who has no job, for no reason?

Does your elder child go to school?
You don't say either way. What do you have to do between 9am and 3pm.

I think it's unfair that OH 'just' works and doesn't do anything else, but he is working 60 hours a week if working 5 x 12hr days.

I don't think its unreasonable of you to expect more of him when he's not working, so maybe a bit of housework some days before he heads off to work. But I do think its unreasonable for you to not do the school run in the morning. Surely you are up at that time anyway getting both kids ready etc before school? I don't think I could feel good watching him get up every day on less sleep and then do the school run, then get back sit about tired for a couple of hours before he goes to work.

There are however plenty of families who manage everything you describe having to do, as a solo parent (either stay at home like you, or working), and plenty in a situation similar to yours where both parents work full time.
I'm not saying its easy, but they manage,
and perhaps have to have different priorities re not keeping totally on top of laundry etc.

Is it really the school run itself that bothers you, or is it his working hours and his 'choice' to be so absent from family life/you?
I can understand that, but I think its something else that has to give.
Maybe how he interacts with the family on his days off, maybe can you (as a family) afford for him to work one less day?

This. You have 5 hours a day to yourself while the kids ate at school, plenty of time to do the life admin, go to the gym, meet up with other mums, tidy up etc.
If he's not getting in until 12. 30 he'll probably not sleep until at least an hour after that. You're awake anyway presumably?

He probably doesn’t get to sleep until 2 or 3am so he shouldn’t be doing the school run. As for doing nothing else that’s another issue, plus I’m another who wants to know if he isn’t supporting you as a unit or whatever then who is?

YABU so you get to be child free during school hours? While he works every hour available.

And you're bitching about the school run? Yes you do the chores. That's your job. He can't do much of them because the only hours available to him are to sleep.

Many couples have a partner working similarly and have to work full time and do the household shit.