Expecting HIM to do school run?

OP I can see your point here. DH has chosen to work these crazy hours and isn't even making money, you are earning more than him whilst being a SAHM (you rent out property maybe, or have family supporting you)?

I can see why this would lead you to be frustrated that DH spends no time with the DC and doesn't want to contribute in any way to family life.

I think your compromise sounds good and I hope DH stops complaining!

I feel so strongly about this that I had to register to reply. A mom is “on call” 24/7. The husband works 11 hour days….well so does she and more. People that are responding that the mom should take the kids in the morning are not recognizing the work that she does, especially since one of the children has special needs.

People that are responding that the mom should take the kids in the morning are not recognizing the work that she does, especially since one of the children has special needs.

Have you actually read any of the posts? Most people who are saying OP should take the child to school are absolutely recognising the work OP does, and saying her DH should be doing more.

@sidewayswalking I think maybe some people slightly are now. Most of the posters until recently were saying OP should do all of it, which surprised me.

If you are asking whether I read 31 pages of replies then the answer is no, just first 3 pages, BUT if you read my reply it clearly states that I am speaking ONLY to the people that don’t recognize that a mom’s work is 24/7

Yeah he's working 12 hours a day, but a mother's job is 24/7. Perhaps you could alternate the school run and throw in some of the other jobs you do around the house so he gets an idea of how much is involved?

I don’t think anyone particularly enjoys the morning school run, but surely being a sahp it’s your “job”? Your kids are both in school all day, it doesn’t take 6 hours to do household jobs.

You are not being unreasonable to expect the division of labour between the two of you to be equal, if he is, for example, working 60 hours a week and you are working 80 hours a week then something has to change.

You are being unreasonable to expect him to specifically do the school run, because it doesn’t leave him with a sufficient amount of time to sleep between finishing work and getting up for the school run. Everyone needs sleep. Maybe he wouldn’t need to sleep so much on his day off if he wasn’t running on such a sleep deficit.

An unfortunate consequence of non-standard hours is that it can impact the ‘normal’ view of family life. It simply isn’t possible for those who work shifts to engage fully with a family who work and sleep different hours, regardless of what that occupation is.

You need to reconsider your view of what family life is for you in light of his working hours. He needs to work out how to maximise time with his family within the hours he has available. You then need to sit down together and review what would be reasonable for both of you and hoe you can make that work into something you are both satisfied with.

24/7 when they are at school??

I don't understand how all these people are ok with this man not having any other responsibilities with the kids. A SAHM is not a slave. It sounds like he's never home anyways and can at least spend that bit of time with the kids. He chose the 12 hour shifts and chose to have kids. Why are SAHM are expected to work 24/7 and then men have time off?

Listen this guy gets some alright sleep and he dont open til when almost noontime so he can come back and go back to bed if he wanted to everyone keeps over looking that point and if that and the bin 1 time a week is all she's asking for that's nothing I would gladly take that trade off any day and I'M A MAN SAYING THIS!!!! YOU ARE NOT IN THE WRONG HERE!!!! If that and playing with my kids on the weekends was what is considered asking to much of a guy who works 60hrs a week then no wonder the world's point of view on men has changed so much cuz I do all that now plus much much more so I think people need to look at it a little differently

This is old now but I saw it quoted on Newsweek and I saw a lot of negative comments. I wanted to say that I DON'T necessarily see it as being unreasonable. I only work part time and have all the duties as well. Everything pretty much is on me. I get the kids to and from school along with everything else and it just feels overwhelming. Both of my children have special needs and I'm always on my toes. The one day a week that I work and my husband watches the kids is my only break. I can say with all honesty that working feels like less of a prison. So in short no, I don't find that unreasonable.

KettrickenSmiled I agree with every word, well said.

This thread was in Newsweek???

Haven't rtft, read OPs posts and a few comments and the gist seems pretty one sided.

I don't think YABU at all.

It's bloody exhausting being a sahp with full responsibility for everything household and family related. Especially if you do paid work as well as the unpaid 24/7 parenting.
Just because many seem to cope with it, or claim to, doesn't mean the balance of responsibilities is fairly, or justifiably divided among many.

I get that your dh works long hours outside the home. I also get that you do inside the home.

If you're not burnt out and do feel capable (and willing) to do the school run some of the time suggest a compromise of some sort. But don't feel pressured to because you made a thread about it.

I'm really confused. OP, when you say you work within the home from 6.30am until 11pm, is that stuff to manage running your house or are you actually working a paying job during those hours? I think thats where the confusion lies around you being the main earner. But also describing yourself as a SAHM.

The only solution I can see here, is that if your day until 11pm is household stuff and you are not doing a paid job. That perhaps a couple of days a week your DH comes home early, say at 5pm and takes over the household stuff and the kids, and you go and do the hours in the shop? That way he isn't doing 13 hour days 6 times a week and you also get a respite from the day to day house/kids stuff. He gets to spend time with the dc and can then do more than just put the bins out. And whoever didn't do the late shift the night before at the shop can do the school run the following morning.

Is that a doable option?

What nonsense are you talking about. The child is in school. Or have you conveniently forgot that part. She had plenty of time to do whatever she wants. Everything else is just BS. I'm a sahm of a school child and I know she's talking nonsense.

Totally agree with this

Is the OP a man?

I am glad you have considered the feedback and realised your lazy fucker ways
You're fortunate to be able to contribute 60% of the family income whilst doing feck all for 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, term time only.
You're literally living the dream!!Enjoy and be grateful to the universe.
The school run isn't that hard, you'll get used to it