To be upset that I have to sleep on the sofa

[ladywithnomanors]

I’ve been with my DH for 17 years. Over the last 3 years I have gained about 3 stone in weight due to bereavements within the family, I have been very depressed. As a result I now snore and it disturbs my DH so much that I now sleep on the sofa. This makes me feel like crap. I understand that my DH needs sleep but I feel like a second class citizen demoted to the sofa. AIBU to be upset ?

What does that have to do with the fat pile on? I just said I know a horrific snorer who is slim.

My husband snores and can wake me up at night (even though I wear earplugs!!!). When I nudge him too much to change position (he snores less when sleeping on his right side) he gets annoyed and goes to sleep to the sofa, but it's not like default setting. I bet you don't feel too comfortable sleeping like this all the time 😪So sorry about your mum and brother. I think your husband should be kinder to you. My husband lost his parent 9 moths ago and it was really hard, he suffered insomnia etc. When he snored, I used to go downstairs, I didn't want to wake him up, so he can get some precious sleep.

*on the sofa

@TartanGirl1 it did indeed. It’s disgusting! I can’t believe the absolute disgusting fatphobic bullshit I am reading on this thread. Some posters should be absolutely ashamed of themselves. Kicking someone when they’re down, behind the safety of your anonymity, is vile behaviour. I fucking despair at what I see on the internet nowadays. No wonder the world is the absolute shit show it is, human kindness, empathy and compassion seem to be vastly lacking in so many people.

OP, if you want to tackle weight. I would really recommend following someone like rebelfit on Facebook (he’s antidiet culture and all about empowering women to get healthy, fit and strong), and please check out Lisa Schlosberg’s Out of the cave podcast. She is alll about the mindbody connection and our relationship with food. If you’re an emotional eater, you can’t solve an emotional problem with a physical solution, but you can fix your relationship with food, ditch the shame, and get healthy.

Please try and ignore the vile posters on here. This ISN’T your fault, and I’m sending you so much love after this shitty year you’ve had. Losing a parent is so hard (I lost my mum a few years ago), and I can only imagine the impact of losing your brother on top. ❤️

Jesus… people have been really horrible on this.
my grandparents slept in separate rooms there while married life as my grandad snored so badly!!
my Db and Dsil are currently close to splitting up due to her snoring, Started when she was pregnant and it hasn’t gone away. They take turns on couch but he can hear her through walls.

Sorry that people blamed you for your weight gain and so sorry for everything you have been though

OP please read the kind comments on this thread and try to discount the horrible fatpobic ones. You don’t need to justify yourself.

What a disgusting reply. I'm currently grieving 2 still born babies in less than a year and I can tell you that some days if I get dressed and wash my face it is a win. If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing.

I agree with your DH. I've suffered for years with my husbands snoring and it's horrible. His is worse now due to weight gain. If you lose weight hopefully it will stop.

YABU. You can be proactive about the snoring if you want to be.

Sorry for your losses OP. 💐 Nothing to add but I hope you can find a solution.

I'm sorry about your bereavements OP it sounds like you have had a tough few years, especially if you were nursing your mum. It's so easy to lose yourself when you are a carer.

If I may point out the obvious, a lack of sleep is terrible for you. It's bad for your physical and mental health and robs you of the energy to be proactive. Independently of that, sleep apnoea is bad for your health. Many people with sleep apnoea stop breathing for periods and are utterly exhausted from lack of sleep.

It's time to ask for help. I would start by talking to your GP about the sleep apnoea. Don't let them fob you off about losing weight first. You know you need to do that, but it will be a whole lot easier if you aren't so tired. For now, eat well, with plenty of vegetables and plan to go out for a walk every day. It is likely you will also qualify for NHS help to lose weight so consider that carefully. Take the help you need.

Good luck.