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Original poster

Swinging with married man

277 replies

namechangeforsexchat · 30/08/2022 21:45

Not a troll or reporter, I promise, name changed for this as it's very personal!

I am married and DH and I are considering swinging with an ex of mine. No issues with the fact that he's an ex - it was short lived - great sex but not relationship material.

I know he's into swinging and and engaged in multiple situations where he has met people for casual sex / swinging. Issue is, he's married with 2 kids and his wife doesn't know.

Would this put you off meeting him? Or would you think, he's doing this anyway, it's up to him?

Hard hat on....

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 30/08/2022 21:47

Cheating on his wife and children? Scummy, scummy man.

W00p · 30/08/2022 21:49

Grim.

MessyBunPersonified · 30/08/2022 21:49

Why call it swinging? It would be an affair.

If you're happy shagging a married man behind his wife's back then go for it I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
namechangeforsexchat · 30/08/2022 21:50

It wouldn't be an affair. It would be a one time sex event, which he would do with others regardless.

OP posts:
Onlyforcake · 30/08/2022 21:51

So he'll fuck anything and keeps it from his wife? I'm sure you could raise your bar.

Ship · 30/08/2022 21:51

Can’t you go swinging without him?

Hillsidehigh · 30/08/2022 21:52

That’s horrible

Flapjacker48 · 30/08/2022 21:52

Vulgar behaviour.

mycatisannoying · 30/08/2022 21:52

For a time, I was on a swinger's site. Sleeping with other people/cheating was pretty much the norm Sad That's not for me, so I left. But was accused of 'kink shaming' whenever I gave blokes a piece of my mind for doing this!

PicaK · 30/08/2022 21:53

I would stay away.
Lots of guys who aren't cheating available
She's a person with feelings whose right to choose/decide her own future is being denied by him.

Original poster
namechangeforsexchat · 30/08/2022 21:53

@Ship we could. But we're new to the game, and at least with him I know he wouldn't harm me. I'm worried about meeting a random man I don't know!

OP posts:
TimeFlysWhenYoureHavingRum · 30/08/2022 21:53

Sounds like a recipe for an std.

MessyBunPersonified · 30/08/2022 21:53

namechangeforsexchat · 30/08/2022 21:50

It wouldn't be an affair. It would be a one time sex event, which he would do with others regardless.

Why are you trying to justify it?

Clearly you're quite happy to fuck a married man because 'he would do it with others regardless'.

Its disgusting, deceitful, and immoral behaviour however you dress it up.

ladywithnomanors · 30/08/2022 21:54

He sounds like he’d be riddled.
Avoid!
Gis poor wife and kids

Gossipxox · 30/08/2022 21:54

I mean to be honest does it have to be him or can’t you find someone else? Do you personally know his wife? I mean in my opinion it’s a secret he has, maybe don’t say anything and if it was ever to come out just explain the reason why you didn’t say anything cos it’s not down to you.

Notimeforaname · 30/08/2022 21:55

It wouldn't be an affair. It would be a one time sex event, which he would do with others regardless.

My opinion is the same. Hes a scummy man. Have sex with him if you want. Its your life. It's also those children lives. If you're fine with it..off you go.

If your husband had sex with someone else one time that you didn't know about, he wouldn't be cheating on you?

megosaurusrex · 30/08/2022 21:55

Do you really need anyone else to tell you it's wrong to sleep with a married person behind their spouses back?
The fact you're even asking the question in the first place means you know it's wrong.

Original poster
namechangeforsexchat · 30/08/2022 21:55

I'm not trying to justify it as such. I'm asking for advice. At this time, it's an idea and fantasy, and that's it. Nothing has happened yet (and might not!).

I understand this is a very niche area and regardless of the married element, something many may not agree with anyway.

As for STDs - I would always use a condom.

OP posts:
Original poster
namechangeforsexchat · 30/08/2022 21:56

@Notimeforaname it wouldn't be behind my husband's back. It would be with him.

OP posts:
RudsyFarmer · 30/08/2022 21:57

You and your husband are planning to have sex with a married ex of yours? Oh no, doesn’t sound messy at all!!! What could go wrong?!

PinkButtercups · 30/08/2022 21:57

Yes that would put me off.

Swinging doesn't appeal to me but people who are swingers need to be open and honest especially in relationships and ones that have kids!

Changenameobviousreasons · 30/08/2022 22:01

Ask yourself if this is what you want (no judgement here). One of your posts reads exactly as I would have written when I was coerced into trying swinging and other things. If you have doubts, about anything at all - whether it is your safety, feelings, partners feelings... Anything. Please don't do it. Think long and hard before you go down this rabbit hole and think about how YOU feel about it and what YOU are comfortable with above all else. Please, let nobody and their opinions trump that or convince you otherwise.

I may have read this wrong, if so, I'm sorry.

Micsam89 · 30/08/2022 22:01

namechangeforsexchat · 30/08/2022 21:56

@Notimeforaname it wouldn't be behind my husband's back. It would be with him.

So a threesome then? Not swinging.

MessyBunPersonified · 30/08/2022 22:02

I don't judge singers at all. All parties consent and do whatever, great, good for them.

You're not planning on swinging, you're planning on engaging in a shag with a married man behind his wife's back.

She isn't consenting to this, but she will be affected by it.

If you think your shag is worth destroying a families lives then go for it.

Just hope your husband doesn't decide to do it to you when you start blurring the lines of morality

KM247 · 30/08/2022 22:04

I think you’d be better off experimenting by inviting another man into your sex life, not one you’ve slept with before.