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AIBU?

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Original poster

Swinging with married man

277 replies

namechangeforsexchat · 30/08/2022 21:45

Not a troll or reporter, I promise, name changed for this as it's very personal!

I am married and DH and I are considering swinging with an ex of mine. No issues with the fact that he's an ex - it was short lived - great sex but not relationship material.

I know he's into swinging and and engaged in multiple situations where he has met people for casual sex / swinging. Issue is, he's married with 2 kids and his wife doesn't know.

Would this put you off meeting him? Or would you think, he's doing this anyway, it's up to him?

Hard hat on....

OP posts:
MiddleAgedTraveller · 30/08/2022 23:16

Why do you want to watch your DH being shagged by another man?

HolidayHappy123 · 30/08/2022 23:16

How would you feel if your DH decided to sleep with his ex and her husband behind your back? Grim!

SmellsLikeMiddleAgeSpirit · 30/08/2022 23:17

I feel like I need a bath after reading this repulsive thread. 🤮

As a PP noted... putrid.

FlorettaB · 30/08/2022 23:20

Well that all sounds like it’s bound to end well.

FiveDollarMilkshake · 30/08/2022 23:20

JFC OP if that’s your idea of a fantasy, I’d hate to hear what gives you nightmares.

I feel sorry for this sleazebag’s wife, I bet he’s crap in more ways than one, not least lacking in integrity. Just nope. Ewww pass the soap.

Novum · 30/08/2022 23:22

namechangeforsexchat · 30/08/2022 21:53

@Ship we could. But we're new to the game, and at least with him I know he wouldn't harm me. I'm worried about meeting a random man I don't know!

Bui you know he's happy to harm his wife?

limitededitionbarbie · 30/08/2022 23:25

No. Don't do it. A couple of hours yous fucking about vs ruining his wives life. Plus kids if any are involved for what ? 20 mins of sex.

No.

Find someone else

Summerslam · 30/08/2022 23:28

I reckon you just want an excuse to shag your ex. What's your husband's role in this rank wank fantasy?

Dibbydoos · 30/08/2022 23:32

Monkey pox would put me off doing this....

But each to their own 😉

Thirdsummerofourdiscontent · 30/08/2022 23:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FayeGovan · 30/08/2022 23:41

Maybe his wife does know and is happy to get the lying fucker out the house for a while?

Sswhinesthebest · 30/08/2022 23:43

Poor woman

gnilliwdog · 30/08/2022 23:43

I think you are all (except the other wife) very unwell.

NotaCoolMum · 30/08/2022 23:44

🤢🤮

DrFoxtrot · 30/08/2022 23:45

Regardless of the moral dilemma, describing the plan as a 'sex event' sounds like the least erotic thing ever.

JustLyra · 30/08/2022 23:47

He’s not a swinger. He’s a cheat.

he’s also your ex. And likely so for a reason.

If you genuinely want to swing, and be sure you both really do, then go to a club. Chat to people socially there and you’ll meet plenty of actual swingers (or random single guys if that’s your thing) that don’t have remotely the same level of damage potential.

Wafflesnsniffles · 30/08/2022 23:49

remember I am a person at the other end of your keyboard
Yes you are a person who is considering having sex who you know is a married man, with children. Yes he will likely have extra marital "fun" somewhere with someone but do you really want to be that person?
How will you feel if his marriage collapses as a result (likely it will anyway but do you want to be a part in causing that?)
How would you feel if you were his wife? His kids?

I have zero sympathy for "person at the other end of my keyboard" whose ok about sleeping with married people. Find another hobby.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 30/08/2022 23:51

Ha, you're fine with facilitating an ex of yours to cheat on his wife, but you get hurt feelings over a curt comment on an Internet forum?
Odd boundaries you have.
Does your DH understand your fear of being at risk of harm by introducing a strange man into your sex life? Perhaps that's partly what he likes about it.

SouperNoodle · 31/08/2022 00:00

Horological · 30/08/2022 22:27

they’re sex people Lyn

😂😂😂

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 31/08/2022 00:01

As far as I'm concerned, a cheat is a cheat. I'd bet he isn't careful as it sounds like he doesn't give a fuck about her and he's literally made a commitment to her. What makes you think he won't shag you with the infected excuse of a knobstick and tell you it's all shiny and polished?

Most people who engage with swinging (in the real sense) are very open and honest with all partners (specifically married ones) and have regular check ups and take any and all precautions.

lightisnotwhite · 31/08/2022 00:02

fancytulip · 30/08/2022 22:30

This sounds like a way to get at your ex's new wife, like you had a bad breakup, or you're not over him, or you want to give a giant 'fuck you, I still have power over him' to his poor wife. Your husband clearly has a cuckold fetish, but if he sees you enjoying yourself with an ex do not underestimate the paranoia and jealousy and comparison this creates in the male psyche even when they pretend it won't.

Completely fucking loony idea, bin it

Yep this.
Also why isn’t the ex swinging with his wife? It’s pretty grim that he would prioritise his own sex life over his marriage.

PixelatedLunchbox · 31/08/2022 00:04

namechangeforsexchat · 30/08/2022 21:50

It wouldn't be an affair. It would be a one time sex event, which he would do with others regardless.

Would you like to be cheated on by your husband?

I'm in an open marriage and personally, I wouldn't touch him with a barge pole. Cheating slime ball.

Miri13 · 31/08/2022 00:07

Sleazy on so many levels 😖

girlfrien · 31/08/2022 00:43

namechangeforsexchat · 30/08/2022 21:53

@Ship we could. But we're new to the game, and at least with him I know he wouldn't harm me. I'm worried about meeting a random man I don't know!

Don't bother going down that road then

Changechangychange · 31/08/2022 00:48

ShirleyJackson · 30/08/2022 22:07

‘One time sex event’ sounds very Alan Partridge 😂

I cannot hear this in anything other than an Alan Partridge voice now Grin

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