Page 6 | Swinging with married man

Original poster

namechangeforsexchat · 31/08/2022 09:57

@AnyodyAnywhere thank you for sharing. It's definitely good for thought and good to know I'm not the only one.

I understand why certain posters are being so nasty. It's easy to be judgmental on here and I've asked for opinions so that's fine. Just because I'm asking, and considering, doesn't mean I will do anything.

Not to drip feed, but just to answer a couple of questions:

When I say "ex" it was more someone I had a fling with for a couple of months, many years ago. We had great sex and he was always interested in a MMF threesome which is why I know he would be up for it. DH knows him, although we're not friends as such.
I don't know his wife but I know of her.

As for why him - it's the familiarity, the fact that I know he wouldn't hurt me (even if DH is there you don't know what you're getting with a stranger), he wouldn't out us, he's experienced in this.

Clearly, the issue here is his DW, if he was single there would be no question about it.

OP posts:

Original poster

namechangeforsexchat · 31/08/2022 09:59

And for those telling me to have self respect, that's a really weak retort. You know nothing about me other than this snippet of information. Rest assured, I am a confident woman who has a lot of self respect, I won't do anything I don't want to.
With or without this situation i have my own self worth, plus am desired by my husband of many years.
Saying I have no self respect feels a little bit like projecting.

OP posts:

DarkShade · 31/08/2022 09:59

OP with respect but I don't think you know what swinging means.

This mad is not "into swinging" he is into cheating on his wife. If he doesn't include her and she doesn't know about it, then he is cheating. His wife is sat at home looking after their children while he has lied to her about being at work or wherever and is actually busy fucking you and your husband. Does that sound right to you?

The swinging thing is just a red herring. This is no different from you, alone, having a preplanned one night stand with a married work collegue. It doesn't stop being cheating just because you're husband is wanking off in the corner.

DarkShade · 31/08/2022 10:01

To clarify, people think you have no self respect because you are considering having sex with a woman's husband behind her back. People don't actually care what you and your husband do with single men.

KimberleyClark · 31/08/2022 10:05

He’s not a swinger, he’s a cheating slimeball. Hope that helps.

Wisteriaroundthedoor · 31/08/2022 10:06

It’s not actually swinging. It’s you want to have a threesome with two men and have thought of your ex. Even wondering if he wants to come along and sit and watch your husband shag you.

do as you please. It all sounds quite icky to me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

DarkShade · 31/08/2022 10:09

@SavoirFlair You cannot be serious!

I honestly think people who post this stuff are secretly terrified their “I’d rather have a cup of tea than all that humping” stance in life may eventually lead to their DH or DP hoping for something or someone a little more, ahem, “dynamic”..

I absolutely am not terrified that my negative attitude towards couples having sex with other women's husbands behind their backs will make my DP leave me for someone who would 😂If that's what my DP wants he is actively encouraged to go off and find a dynamic cheater, I'll sit here with my tea thanks!

knittingaddict · 31/08/2022 10:14

namechangeforsexchat · 30/08/2022 22:09

@AnyFucker that's very judgemental, but I wouldn't expect anything less from you tbh.

I'm not seeking attention, I'm just asking for a range of views. I guess yours is one of them, but remember I am a person at the other end of your keyboard.

AnyFucker is right though. A very large majority of us would say the same to you. Why pick on one person?

Wisteriaroundthedoor · 31/08/2022 10:26

I know he's into swinging and and engaged in multiple situations where he has met people for casual sex / swinging

that’s not swinging either op. It’s just plain old garden variety cheating.

milkyaqua · 31/08/2022 10:27

Gross.

Wisteriaroundthedoor · 31/08/2022 10:37

Op are you even in touch with this man any more? How many years ago was it’s? Are you thinking of texting him and saying hi wanna watch my husband bang me and if you like what you see you can have a go too whilst my husband watches, then You can both have a go together`? How do you even broach it?

is this just some fantasy of your husbands and you’re desperately trying to think of some bloke you know so it’s not a random`?

Original poster

namechangeforsexchat · 31/08/2022 10:41

Fair enough, point taken, it's not swinging. I take that back, it's a threesome, with my husband and a married man (or, it would be, if it were to happen).

OP posts:

Original poster

namechangeforsexchat · 31/08/2022 10:49

@Wisteriaroundthedoor we were in touch anyway, due to a shared hobby. DH knows we have been in touch over the years although nothing untoward up until now.

It was originally DH's fantasy but is now very much a shared fantasy. There's no desperation on our part - obviously we could pick up someone from elsewhere if we wanted, but it's the element of the known with him and the fact that I know he would also be into it.

OP posts:

SavoirFlair · 31/08/2022 10:51

DarkShade · 31/08/2022 10:09

@SavoirFlair You cannot be serious!

I honestly think people who post this stuff are secretly terrified their “I’d rather have a cup of tea than all that humping” stance in life may eventually lead to their DH or DP hoping for something or someone a little more, ahem, “dynamic”..

I absolutely am not terrified that my negative attitude towards couples having sex with other women's husbands behind their backs will make my DP leave me for someone who would 😂If that's what my DP wants he is actively encouraged to go off and find a dynamic cheater, I'll sit here with my tea thanks!

“When”, not “if”. Enjoy your tea.

moofolk · 31/08/2022 10:59

Nope.

No judgment on swinging. Anyone should I crack on with whatever they like if it's fully consensual, but this isn't.

He's lying to his wife.

Not cool.

JustLyra · 31/08/2022 11:02

namechangeforsexchat · 31/08/2022 10:49

@Wisteriaroundthedoor we were in touch anyway, due to a shared hobby. DH knows we have been in touch over the years although nothing untoward up until now.

It was originally DH's fantasy but is now very much a shared fantasy. There's no desperation on our part - obviously we could pick up someone from elsewhere if we wanted, but it's the element of the known with him and the fact that I know he would also be into it.

Picking someone you know for your first group experience is, frankly, bonkers.

Especially an ex. He’s your ex for a reason

Playing with other people can be a lot of fun (proper swinging, not just shagging exes), but you need a strong marriage, strong boundaries and no-one knows how they’ll feel the first time. I’ve seen it destroy several relationships because it wasn’t what they expected, didn’t go how they thought and jealousy.

If you were so sure he was the right person you wouldn’t have posted here and you’d have had your threesome. Listen to your gut.

SavoirFlair · 31/08/2022 11:03

If you were so sure he was the right person you wouldn’t have posted here and you’d have had your threesome. Listen to your gut.

Well said

LemonDrop22 · 31/08/2022 11:15

and he was always interested in a MMF threesome

So there's the possibility he's cheated with men before, as well as women ..... Great way to double the std smorgasbord.

LemonDrop22 · 31/08/2022 11:16

(and condoms don't protect against everything, and they can tear or break).

LemonDrop22 · 31/08/2022 11:17

It was originally DH's fantasy but is now very much a shared fantasy.

How very convenient for your husband.

LemonDrop22 · 31/08/2022 11:19

Why don't you just get a male escort, they often fuck couples.

They'll hopefully be very genned up on STDs and will be professional, no messy history/emotions.

They'll want good review so the risk of being hurt etc is very unlikely to be there.

LemonDrop22 · 31/08/2022 11:20

LemonDrop22 · 31/08/2022 11:17

It was originally DH's fantasy but is now very much a shared fantasy.

How very convenient for your husband.

Sounds like he's brain washed you to want it too.

gnilliwdog · 31/08/2022 11:21

OP Why don't you tell his wife what he is up to if she doesn't know? Anonymously, even. Curious if you feel any compassion for her and her children.

LemonDrop22 · 31/08/2022 11:22

No matter what you do, don't use the bisexual, or whatever the fk he is, skeezy cheater .....

SleepingAgent · 31/08/2022 11:25

wellhelloitsme · 30/08/2022 22:29

He might be into 'swinging' but that's not what you'd be doing. You're dressing it up as something it's not by calling it that.

You'd just be shagging a married bloke you know while your husband watches and wanks, all the while this bloke's wife is at home (looking after their kids) not knowing she's being cheated on.

He might go home after shagging you and then shag his wife too. Again, without her knowing what he's done.

All a bit rank really isn't it, mate?

Sums it up for me.