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Daughter getting married, husband invited 2 families to stay in our house

371 replies

CakeFiend8 · 24/08/2022 14:16

Am I being unreasonable to think that my husband inviting two families to stay in our house the week of our daughter's wedding is a bit much? To put it mildly.

The two families consist of his niece + husband + 2 children, and his sister-in-law and their two children. And no, we don't have any spare bedrooms, so my husband said we will give one family our bedroom while we sleep wherever there's a couch, and the other family will take the front room with a sofabed. Any other time, fine - but it's the week of our daughter's wedding which will surely be chaotic just waiting for the bathroom in the morning with 11 people in the house! I want to bury myself in a hole somewhere and cry...

It's adding to my daughter's anxiety, who is already stressed out with wedding plans, and me, as mother of the bride, I'm having kittens!

Please let me know if I'm over-reacting...

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

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Nanny0gg · 24/08/2022 14:17

Tell him either he apologises and rescinds the invitations or you will. Whilst laying the blame firmly at his feet

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mrcow · 24/08/2022 14:18

No you’re not being unreasonable.

He needs to fix this. No one should be staying.

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LightandMomentary · 24/08/2022 14:18

I'd love to tell you that you're overreacting, but I would have buried my DH under the patio if he had suggested the same thing! When is the wedding?

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Justalittlebitfurther · 24/08/2022 14:18

YANBU at all! You don’t want you or him to be overtired and risk it all ruining the wedding. The families he has invited are CF too! The priority here has to be your daughter and yourselves!

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CakeFiend8 · 24/08/2022 14:20

@mrcow The wedding is at the end of October.

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Lobelia123 · 24/08/2022 14:21

NO WAY. This is supposed to be a celebration for your immediate family. Your first priority is to manage the logistics of the wedding and make everythign joyous and as perfect as possible for your daughter, not cram rellies into every spare crevice and sleep on the sofa. I would be furious. Rescind the invitation immediately so they have time to make alternative arrangements. Just a firm and apologetic, Im so sorry to have messed you around, but its not possible is enough, no need for long invovled explanations or justifications....they must realise themsleves that its asking a lot to come invade the parents home for the week of the wedding SURELT+Y?? If you can spring for a hotel room that would be super but no need to feel bad at all - he got carried away, over promised and cant deliver, just clear it up and move on. But tell him to put his thinking cap on next time before he commits to things theres no earthly way you can honour.

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Rhythmisadancer · 24/08/2022 14:22

your husband has lost his mind

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CakeFiend8 · 24/08/2022 14:25

@Lobelia123 Thanks. But they're his relatives from Italy, and I don't speak Italian that well, so all the communication with them is through him...

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neverbeenskiing · 24/08/2022 14:26

Your DH is mad to have offered but both families are CF for accepting. There's no way I'd accept an invitation to stay somewhere if it meant my hosts having to give up their room and sleep on a sofa. He needs to tell them he jumped the gun, rescind the invitation and apologise. There's plenty of time for them to sort something else.

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CakeFiend8 · 24/08/2022 14:27

@LightandMomentary The wedding is at the end of October - there's still time to change things, but as they only speak Italian, my husband has to explain to them - but he's being stubborn as a mule, and not budging... 😭

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Cosycover · 24/08/2022 14:28

Have you told him to rescind the invitation?

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happyharpy78 · 24/08/2022 14:30

My daughter got married last Friday and there is absolutely no way I could have coped with that many guests in the house! She really wanted her bridesmaids to stay over the night before and that took priority over anything else. Also the whole week was filled with last minute jobs, you will be too stressed for visitors. DH needs to cancel them asap!

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TheFormidableMrsC · 24/08/2022 14:30

I'd tell him you and your daughter are moving into a hotel for a week so that you can relax and enjoy the build up and preparations and he can host his family and all that comes with it 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Freezingtoocold · 24/08/2022 14:31

Why don’t you and your daughter move out to a lovely hotel. He can do all the logistics and entertainment in your house.

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LightandMomentary · 24/08/2022 14:31

Blimey, your DH is a delight. Serious question here - do the booked guests know that there will be 11 people in a 1 bed place? I would not want to stay if that was the case (and yes, I know that some people have no choice etc,) so it's worth a go if that would appeal to your DH as a better idea. If not, I'd leave them all to it and book yourself into a nice hotel instead.

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CakeFiend8 · 24/08/2022 14:31

@Cosycover Yes, I've tried as best I can. But nothing is working.

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Mistletow · 24/08/2022 14:32

What a stupid thing to do, I'd tell him to cancel their plans, can they not get a hotel. To put you out like that on a really special week is really selfish of him. I wpuld be fuming

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titchy · 24/08/2022 14:32

Wow. Does he not give a shit about his daughter then?

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Malie · 24/08/2022 14:33

The guy is a plonker. Just tell him that you and your daughter will be moving to a hotel and giving him the bill as you can’t cope with the guests he’s invited.

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comedycentral · 24/08/2022 14:33

Get a hotel and he can suit himself if he enjoys playing host so much.

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justasking111 · 24/08/2022 14:35

CakeFiend8 · 24/08/2022 14:27

@LightandMomentary The wedding is at the end of October - there's still time to change things, but as they only speak Italian, my husband has to explain to them - but he's being stubborn as a mule, and not budging... 😭

Tell him you've found a local Italian restaurant and they're going to translate for you. Explaining that they cannot stay. Don't tell him who but do it

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CakeFiend8 · 24/08/2022 14:35

@LightandMomentary Good point! I've asked him to tell them that we don't have any spare rooms so we have give up our bedroom, but he's evading. Not answering. Deflecting. Sigh!

Should I go behind his back and send those families a direct message (with the help of Google Translate), telling them that we have no spare rooms, and also that it's going to be really stressful? Part of me thinks it's his mess, so he has to resolve it (though he's not budging), and part of me thinks it's sneaky to go behind his back...

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StillGoingStrongToday · 24/08/2022 14:36

CakeFiend8 · 24/08/2022 14:27

@LightandMomentary The wedding is at the end of October - there's still time to change things, but as they only speak Italian, my husband has to explain to them - but he's being stubborn as a mule, and not budging... 😭

He’s being very unreasonable. This will not be a normal week for you, and you don’t need your house full of guests when you will already likely have plenty to be getting on with.

If he won’t back down I’d be letting him know which hotel he’ll be booking you a lovely room in for that week and letting him look after the families himself.

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DifficultBloodyWoman · 24/08/2022 14:37

Book yourself a hotel now.

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Flakjacketon · 24/08/2022 14:37

I agree with a pp who suggested you and DD move to an hotel and leave your DH to get on with it. Or rent self catering accommodation. Good
Luck.

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