Daughter getting married, husband invited 2 families to stay in our house

[CakeFiend8]

Am I being unreasonable to think that my husband inviting two families to stay in our house the week of our daughter's wedding is a bit much? To put it mildly.

The two families consist of his niece + husband + 2 children, and his sister-in-law and their two children. And no, we don't have any spare bedrooms, so my husband said we will give one family our bedroom while we sleep wherever there's a couch, and the other family will take the front room with a sofabed. Any other time, fine - but it's the week of our daughter's wedding which will surely be chaotic just waiting for the bathroom in the morning with 11 people in the house! I want to bury myself in a hole somewhere and cry...

It's adding to my daughter's anxiety, who is already stressed out with wedding plans, and me, as mother of the bride, I'm having kittens!

Please let me know if I'm over-reacting...

If you don't want to go behind his back, then id be telling him if he doesn't tell them himself, then I will.
No way they can stay.

I would definitely use Google translate & send them all a message direct. Explain calmly that your husband has over committed & that there are literally no spare rooms. Well that's what I would do.

I don't know how long the visitors are staying, but I was just about to post exactly the same thing!

Off you and daughter go to a nice hotel and do all the wedding prep there. Leave Mr. Cornetto to be the ice cream man for his relatives.

Tell him that, if he won't explain things to his relatives, he needs to pay for hotel rooms for you and DD for the length of his relatives' stay, and he will be in sole charge of catering for them and cleaning up after them.

@titchy That's the heart-breaking thing: he's steam-rolling over not just his daughter's feelings, but his wife's too! 😓

Madness. Tell your husband that he either books them into a hotel or you and DD will book into a hotel. It's the last thing you need. Also I would be mortified as a guest if I turned up to find that I had turfed the MOTB out of her bed!

^ this.

Let him stay in the house and deal with the relatives. Book yourself into a nice hotel, preferably with a spa, and relax!

I'd be booking you and your daughter into a hotel for a week and leave him to it.

No doubt he will expect you to do all the work in getting it all ready.

What an absolute idiot. This should be a happy time and you need to reduce the stress as much as possible.

I would be telling him that he needs to cancel them and I would also tell him you have booked aternative accommodation in case he doesn't. I would be booking a local hotel for myself and my daughter and showing him the confirmation.

OP you need to come down hard on him about this because otherwise all you will remember about your daughters wedding is that you were exhausted by guests, couldn't get in your own bathroom to get ready and that your inaction let your daughter down.

@Freezingtoocold is absolutely right. You and your daughter should go and stay in a lovely hotel or airbnb for the week and concentrate just on you and the wedding arrangements. If he insists on having his family in your house then he should look after them on his own. You already have other commitments.

No way would I be sleeping on a couch in my own house. Tell them that.

I only had to read the title to decide yanbu. Good luck!

My DD got married from home and it was absolute carnage/chaos on the morning of the wedding. In between getting up, all trying to use the bathroom, eating breakfast, having hair/make up done and walk/feed the dog, I was exhausted by the time we left for the church. If DH had added family members in to stay, I honestly think I'd have killed him. As it was, I didn't feel that I had any moments alone with DD beforehand like I'd imagined.

It's time for you and DD to sit him down and say that his generosity in offering the house up as a B & B is making you both very stressed and unhappy, and he needs to deal with it otherwise you will.

He simply can’t do this. The bedroom belongs to both of you and you shouldn’t be moving (except to a hotel). I take it that your husband thinks he will be making up all the beds and doing all the food while they are here

It would be fair enough for you to do whatever it takes to make this not happen. One family would be fine, but expecting you to give up your bed without even being consulted? Fuck that.

Either do the Google translate email or book yourself and your DD a local hotel at your dh’s expense. Maybe book a room that can be cancelled up until the day before to show him that you’re serious, then it’s up to him wether he pays for the hotel or cancels the visitors.

Italian speakers on here, this op needs you!!

He’s only doing it because he knows you can’t speak Italian and therefor can’t contact them to talk to them. It’s a control thing I think.

Google Translate doesn’t always translate accurately (what I’ve heard from language teachers).

Can you book a hotel room for yourself and the bridal party come to you the morning of the wedding? Or go to your daughters home? Or a bridesmaids?!

I agree with booking yourself into a hotel.
He does all hosting, caring, lifting and carrying.

Dude, leave them to it. Like everyone else has said, book a hotel for you and Dd the night before! And the night of the wedding. Whatever.

He went behind your back to invite them so I wouldn't worry about going behind his back to disinvite them.

Whilst booking into a hotel is a good idea, I would be furious at having the expense and upheaval of having to do that just because he is being selfish.

God, I would bury him under the patio.

If you have the spare budget, can you and your daughter stay in a nice hotel near the venue and drink prosecco in your bathrobes while your DH hosts his relatives?

Hard agree with @DifficultBloodyWoman . Book a hotel on DH's credit card.

I would do this and include links to Airbnb and Booking.com

How horribly selfish.

Your poor daughter. If her father is too selfish to put her first, please please make sure you do.

Go over his head, whatever you need to do. These people should NOT be staying the week do your daughters wedding.

As others have said book a hotel for you and daughter

Also for those saying book a hotel, I got married three years ago and it meant so much to me to get ready in my family home. Her father is taking that away from her. What an absolute prick.