About the random man who commented on my baby in the supermarket?

[Pbbananabagel]

so I honestly don’t know if I was a bit too touchy about this and should’ve just smiled and moved on-

Random man leaned into my face and said “he looks like he’s smoking a cigarette, look how he’s holding that crisp”

it completely rubbed me up the wrong way and I said “thanks for that random man in the supermarket, that’s exactly the kind of comment a mum on her own in the supermarket needs to hear.”

he responded “don’t be stupid it was only a joke’

to which I said “you don’t know what might be on someone’s mind when you make comments like that” and he tutted and said
”really it’s a joke, so ridiculous” and walked off.

I felt so uncomfortable, people were staring and I thought maybe that was a step too far and I should’ve just let it go.

I lost two parents to cancer and one of the anniversaries is in two days. Today is the anniversary of me getting the call out of the blue at work that said “it’s cancer and he’s dying so get down here (300 miles away)” when my dad had just felt unwell on holiday and gone to the walk-in. So maybe I’m too touchy.

So, thank AIBU or was this random man really in need of my response?

He deserved your response. It was a stupid thing to say about a baby or any child. He’s an idiot! Sorry for your loss 💐

How was the random man supposed to know your back story?

And the random man response makes me cringe.

I can see why you were fed up but honestly what a random person in the supermarket says to you I would just ignore and move on

It wasn’t the best comment from him but you responding made it a much much bigger thing than it needed to be

It’s a bit weird from him in terms of it being really random and not particularly funny craic

But YABU in taking any offence and in your reply.

I’m so sorry for your loss, but the random man was making a stupid joke. Your response was a trauma reaction 😢😢. Totally understandable from your point of view, but also totally understandable from his that he was miffed at your reaction. He probably meant to be lighthearted and funny .

i mean his comment was a bit odd but how was he supposed to know your very sad backstory? Your response was OTT I probably would’ve just done my ‘random man’ smile and moved on.

I honestly have no idea why you made such a long winded comment back to him in the first place. He was just making a passing joke, I get why you might be sensitive to it but it wasn’t exactly an insensitive comment on the face of it.

Seems a bit over the OP for what was a daft throwaway comment. At this rate nobody will ever speak to each other.

If it had been a six foot tall, six foot wide bloke in charge of your baby, he would not have passed comment whatsoever.
Such an inane comment anyway 😐

im almost positive he didn’t mean any malice, was just having a joke.

Yes nobody knows what others are going through so maybe we should go through life with our eyes down and don’t speak to anyone eh

sorry for your loss I understand why you are finding this time of year difficult but really, a stranger in a shop wasn’t to know

I would not have ignored that comment no matter what kind of day I'm having.

Why random men feel the need to comment 'joke' about others is unbelievable. Would he have said the same thing to baby's dad??

And for it to be a joke, you need to find it funny

Honest to god it was just a silly humorous comment. He doesnt know your backstory. It was a flip comment and you made it a huge deal if it even happened. Seems a thing on mumsnet at the moment that lone mothers are constantly approached by men who make such awful dreadful comments that the op then puts them in their place blah blah blah.

God this thread just shows how indoctrinated women are o
to have to put with shit and Be Nice to dock head men.

he would never have said this to a man.

he’s a dickhead.

who gives a fuck if you overreacted

Yeah I’m so embarrassed now, I just really hated the smoking reference, my baby is 14 months. It hit me really hard.

Uh huh sure this is definitely a feminist issue 😂😂😂.

My dp is 6'4 and people often joke to him about dss all the time when he goes out.

Hit* not hated

He made a dumb comment but your response sounds OTT and rude. It's an awfully specific backstory for anyone to realise and I'm not sure how it relates to his comment- was it lung cancer? Most people would just smile / chuckle (even though it wasn't funny) and move on.

Why are you embarrassed about reacting to a dickehad man inserting himself into your life as you go about your day and demanding that you make him feel good for making a bad joke?

id be thrilled that I’d responded.

@Keepingupappearance if an old woman peered in to the pram and said this then I would still probably just fake laugh and carry on my day. It has nothing to do with it being a man ffs

@teezletangler whybshohdlmwomen be polite to random
men who want them to make them feel good about themselves?

Did you really say thanks for that random man in the supermarket etc

It can be annoying to be interrupted but has it made you feel better than just ignoring it

He may well have meant no malice. Equally, if you make an inane and not funny (and potentially insulting) comment about someone's baby, I think you accept the risk that they'll be sharp back. Maybe next time he'll just stick to compliments or leaving people women be. I'm with you OP, and sorry for your losses.

Lol jesus so men arent allowed to interact at all in public anymore without people going hysterical.