About the random man who commented on my baby in the supermarket?

[Pbbananabagel]

so I honestly don’t know if I was a bit too touchy about this and should’ve just smiled and moved on-

Random man leaned into my face and said “he looks like he’s smoking a cigarette, look how he’s holding that crisp”

it completely rubbed me up the wrong way and I said “thanks for that random man in the supermarket, that’s exactly the kind of comment a mum on her own in the supermarket needs to hear.”

he responded “don’t be stupid it was only a joke’

to which I said “you don’t know what might be on someone’s mind when you make comments like that” and he tutted and said
”really it’s a joke, so ridiculous” and walked off.

I felt so uncomfortable, people were staring and I thought maybe that was a step too far and I should’ve just let it go.

I lost two parents to cancer and one of the anniversaries is in two days. Today is the anniversary of me getting the call out of the blue at work that said “it’s cancer and he’s dying so get down here (300 miles away)” when my dad had just felt unwell on holiday and gone to the walk-in. So maybe I’m too touchy.

So, thank AIBU or was this random man really in need of my response?

Well, it was in her first post. If you aren't going to even believe the OP, why even bother engaging at all. Disbelieving anything that shows reasons for OP's reactions just defeats the purpose of forums.

Not routinely, no. Mostly it will be eye contact and exchanging a smile / knowing glance / eye roll maybe. And based on initial non-verbal cues I might make a comment. I certainly wouldn't have the guts to bowl in on some random in the supermarket with a comment about their baby. Especially if I were a man and that person was a woman. Especially if, like OP, they clearly weren't open to making small talk. I like to think I'd be more switched on than that

Yes but this doesn't happen. Because there is a chasm between total silence and isolation in public and what this guy did. It's bizarre to me that so many people can see it.

Well, it was in her first post. If you aren't going to even believe the OP, why even bother engaging at all. Disbelieving anything that shows reasons for OP's reactions just defeats the purpose of forums.

Copying and pasting this to use verbatim on other threads

Perhaps based on people's real life experience. Silly jokes from strangers is something that happens, while a person actually leaning in your face isn't.

Well, men have done a lot worse than lean in to my face at the supermarket, in my life experience.

I have been verbally and physically abused by men who wanted me to get out of their way. Fine, I got out of their way. Do you know what they do after I get out of their way? They get aggressive because I moved right, not left.

Many men feel extremely entitled in public spaces and women have to make room for them. This man felt entitled to OP’s personal space too.

More women should react to men getting in their personal spaces.

me too :) I was more concerned with the baby eating a walkers golden wonder than the cigarette comment :)

Well he didn't know what had happened to you.

its sounds like he was making a joke - if he has told them off/called them ugly bit different- and id have called him ugly back lol humans can’t seem to interact in person anymore without issues or offending… But you can come on a forum tell the world about the incident, get a news article published about it in the sun, and that’s okay? Maybe he would be offended and upset by that? Maybe his wife jus died and it was his first time out the house and he was telling a joke? Everybody has issues, everybody goes through stuff, everyone has different senses of humour. Hell knows how anymore is meant to react today.

This story keeps popping up on my FB feed via The Mirror