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AIBU?

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Original poster

Call the police or am I wasting police time

381 replies

GarlicCrackers · 20/08/2022 01:24

Partner went out on his motorbike to go to an open Mike night. Said he would be home at 11.

11.20 he messages to say sorry he didn’t realise the time he’d be home soon.

it’s now 1.20 and he isn’t answering his phone. Facebook messages show as not delivered, and when I ring his phone it either says this persons phone is switched off or it rings with no answer.

im sure he is fine and is having a good time but I’m pregnant and currently an insomniac, I’m worried. We live in York, I’m worried he has had an accident, or maybe he stupidly had a drink and then something happened on his motorbike.

Would I be wasting police time if I rang and asked if they’d had any reports? Do I just wait? I can’t sleep. We have dogs and they bark their heads off when he gets home so he knows it’s not on to come home really late as it wakes me up and I’m an irritable pregnant lady, I’m happy for him to stay out at a friends when he goes out to avoid that. But he’s not communicated anything

OP posts:
MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 20/08/2022 01:25

Probably wouldn’t hurt to phone-though who was he out with-can you call them?

QuestionableMouse · 20/08/2022 01:29

Ring 101.

Hope he's okay and his phone is just flat!

Original poster
GarlicCrackers · 20/08/2022 01:30

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 20/08/2022 01:25

Probably wouldn’t hurt to phone-though who was he out with-can you call them?

He’s out with a relatively new friend, I only know his first name. Checked FB and can’t see he has a friend by that name

OP posts:
GirlInterrupted · 20/08/2022 01:33

Hope he's OK op. Ring 101 to see

Original poster
GarlicCrackers · 20/08/2022 01:35

I’m ringing 101, I’m sure he’s fine but he attracts bad luck like you wouldn’t believe. Had a bike accident, got a hire bike provided as courtesy which got nicked! So I’m just worried. I’ve been following north York’s twitter looking out for anything awful he could be involved in. Being hormonal and pregnant is not fun

thank you xx

OP posts:
GirlInterrupted · 20/08/2022 01:36

Try not to worry too much, he could be on the way home. What did 101 say?

Itstrueiagree · 20/08/2022 01:40

Hope allmok.

Itstrueiagree · 20/08/2022 01:41

Meant hope all is OK.

unvillage · 20/08/2022 01:43

Fingers crossed he is home soon but you need to have a chat about expectations tomorrow. I'd be worried too if the last thing I got was "home soon!" two hours ago. His phone probably died - he needs to be more on top of keeping it charged.

QwertyBert · 20/08/2022 01:44

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

UndertheCedartree · 20/08/2022 01:45

Hope he is home soon.

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/08/2022 01:48

My long history of MN, these men always come home. He'll be fine.

CrapBag39 · 20/08/2022 01:52

He’s probably got caught up and drunk more than he intended I’ve done it, it’s hard to pull yourself away from a good atmosphere sometimes, his battery has probably gone flat, He’ll come home.

ThePumpkinPatch · 20/08/2022 02:11

Any news? Also been following NYP's Twitter (Some of them were quite funny I must admit!).

InTheFridge · 20/08/2022 02:16

Hope he is home safe OP and you are now sleeping

Original poster
GarlicCrackers · 20/08/2022 02:17

Finally got through to 101, almost finished and he suddenly messages “I’m fine, I’ll be home shortly”. I just burst into tears, I’m not relieved I’m cross. He’s just said he’s been at a certain pub, and he’s vanished again.

I was really looking forward to a lie in tomorrow morning as I get up every morning with the dogs, he was going to be home by 11 so he could do the morning dog stuff and I could stay in bed.

OP posts:
Original poster
GarlicCrackers · 20/08/2022 02:18

If he’s abandoned his motorbike in the city centre I am not taking him to get it tomorrow and I hope it gets towed or whatever they do

OP posts:
GirlInterrupted · 20/08/2022 02:20

Good, glad he's OK. Still his turn for the dogs tomorrow though.

You need to discuss expectations with him like a previous poster said. It's not fair on you, especially if he's gone on the bike.

GirlInterrupted · 20/08/2022 02:22

GarlicCrackers · 20/08/2022 02:18

If he’s abandoned his motorbike in the city centre I am not taking him to get it tomorrow and I hope it gets towed or whatever they do

Yes, feck that, he can take the train or bus!

LastWordsOfALiar · 20/08/2022 02:45

Hmmm this isn't on at all. OP, I don't mean to stress you out but I'd be worried he's seeing a woman. Goes out with 'new' friend. Late. Turns phone off. Turns phone back on and sends curt text.

Nah, I'd be absolutely pissed. And highly suspicious personally. I'd be researching who was performing and asking him a few questions tomorrow to make sure he was actually there. Too many men cheat, sadly when their partners are pregnant.

But even if he's telling the truth he's been a massive knob.

avamiah · 20/08/2022 02:55

I am glad he is safe but let’s be honest here it’s only 2.50 am and it’s a weekend and he is a adult . I can understand if it was 8am and he hadn’t come home but I wouldn’t even think twice at this time.

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/08/2022 03:15

avamiah · 20/08/2022 02:55

I am glad he is safe but let’s be honest here it’s only 2.50 am and it’s a weekend and he is a adult . I can understand if it was 8am and he hadn’t come home but I wouldn’t even think twice at this time.

As long as he's up with the dogs as promised. If not, he's a dick.

Rottenpumpkin · 20/08/2022 03:19

LastWordsOfALiar · 20/08/2022 02:45

Hmmm this isn't on at all. OP, I don't mean to stress you out but I'd be worried he's seeing a woman. Goes out with 'new' friend. Late. Turns phone off. Turns phone back on and sends curt text.

Nah, I'd be absolutely pissed. And highly suspicious personally. I'd be researching who was performing and asking him a few questions tomorrow to make sure he was actually there. Too many men cheat, sadly when their partners are pregnant.

But even if he's telling the truth he's been a massive knob.

Oh get lost!

Why add to her anxiety by suggesting he's cheating? Maybe you think it's fun to wind up a pregnant woman?

Original poster
GarlicCrackers · 20/08/2022 04:37

He got home at 2.30. He said he hadn’t updated me after “I’ll be home shortly” at 11.20 as he got talking to someone. He walked in, went straight to the spare room and didn’t apologise. I asked him to come in to our room and he was highly pissed off that I had called the police.

Not to drip feed, but I had forgotten it was the anniversary of his dads death (10 years ago) which is one of the reasons I was so worried when he said he was on his way home but didn’t turn up. Turns out he was just at a lock-in at a pub. He said the only reason he told me he’d be home by 11 was because if he hadn’t said a time I’d have been cross. It’s not quite true, I just don’t want to be woken up when I am already not getting enough sleep. I’m trying not to be restrictive but I’ve has the worst pregnancy insomnia. He on the other hand wants to live as much life as possible before the baby arrives as he says he will not be allowed to do anything when it’s here. Unfortunately it’s the third time this week (usually it’s only once)

I was trying not to be upset but I just ended up a sobbing mess because he didn’t believe my worry was justified, and then…..he doesn’t want to be a dad. Oh dear!

Hes only just gone to sleep, he’s unlikely to get up with the dogs so I’ve resigned myself to doing it.

OP posts:
PriOn1 · 20/08/2022 04:46

“he says he will not be allowed to do anything when it’s here.”

Is that his phrasing with the word “allowed”? And did he say he didn’t want to be a dad? Sorry, OP, he is sounding like a bit of a dickhead. Some men do become assholes when their partners get pregnant. Did he want a child before?