Call the police or am I wasting police time

[GarlicCrackers]

Partner went out on his motorbike to go to an open Mike night. Said he would be home at 11.

11.20 he messages to say sorry he didn’t realise the time he’d be home soon.

it’s now 1.20 and he isn’t answering his phone. Facebook messages show as not delivered, and when I ring his phone it either says this persons phone is switched off or it rings with no answer.

im sure he is fine and is having a good time but I’m pregnant and currently an insomniac, I’m worried. We live in York, I’m worried he has had an accident, or maybe he stupidly had a drink and then something happened on his motorbike.

Would I be wasting police time if I rang and asked if they’d had any reports? Do I just wait? I can’t sleep. We have dogs and they bark their heads off when he gets home so he knows it’s not on to come home really late as it wakes me up and I’m an irritable pregnant lady, I’m happy for him to stay out at a friends when he goes out to avoid that. But he’s not communicated anything

I mean he could have gone to his flat, you know, the one which his sister paid an entire year's rent for, in advance, but hey ho.

He's got his own flat.
He has a sister.
He has bandmates.

If OP disappeared in a puff of smoke, you can bet your arse he'd manipulate somebody else into looking after him.

I did some major favours for exH just as we were splitting up. He went through a hard time, I was there. I don't regret it because I want to think of myself as a compassionate person. So I do understand OP.

The piece I'm struggling with is this. He didn't want a child and he particularly doesn't want.a girl. And I can't help thinking this is because he thinks WAG are service humans, less important and special than men and boys. That his contempt for women is plain and he thinks all the cool things (being an irresponsible wanker, riding a motorbike at 3am) are male, not female. All the shitwork and responsibility are female.

He needs to buck his ideas up and be a dad and you need to stop robbing him of his rock bottom. You're stealing it so he can never stand up. That's the essence of codependency; you aren't actually helping him. While he's still there, you need to lay out your expectations and let him know there is no negotiation. You expect him to stand up as a man and this is the last time he gets to use you as his Mummy. And then stick to it. Once, then rip off the plaster.

OP - you really remind me of a friend of mine.

Constant stream of highly unsuitable menchildren, at one point she bounced from one to the other to the other each one leaving a story more outrageous than the last.

Whilst we initially thought she just had bad luck it became clear she relished being the one with these stories and this drama, to the point where we now suspect that she doesn't know how to live her life without someone there to give her the drama she craves

needless to say we are drifting apart as her friends now refuse to entertain any stories involving her current man and how he is ruining her life.

You've had some great advice on this thread, but every time you have a pushback - so as others have said - crack on.

That's an excellent point. Hopefully by the time her daughter sees it, it'll be down to zero - this current test of OP's limits should whittle it down.

Well, it’s incredibly fortunate that your son’s father’s two weeks off coincides with your ex’s accident. Remarkably so.