To really really want/need a job

[MoreThanAFeeIing]

I haven't worked since the 90s when I had DD. The original plan was for me to be a SAHM until she was in high school, and in the meantime I studied and did some volunteering.

However, massive spanner in the works, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness 15 years ago which has left me unable to get out of bed some days, much less do a day's work. I'm also on medication which has nasty side effects, so I'm ill for a few days a week with that too. My illness can be unpredictable - I can be in moderate pain for a week, say, then have a massive flare which knocks me for six for another week.

So. If I haven't worked for almost three decades, I'm in my 50s, I'm disabled, I have no references or recent experience - how on earth do I go about getting a job? I've applied for so many things but as soon as I ask for references I'm up shit creek. There's so many jobs I can't do anyway - for example, retail is out, as is anything I where I need to be on my feet. And it would have to be part time, and I'll need time off for hospital appointments (I have them every few weeks). I've applied to all my local charity shops for voluntary roles to beef up my naked CV, but they all need references. Which I don't have.

It's been ok up til now - DH is on a good wage, about £26k, so we've coped, but things are starting to get really tight. I feel awful that he's the only earner and I'm unable to contribute.

I don't know if there's any advice for someone in my situation but if there is, please share. Mainly though I think I'm just venting at how frustrating it all is.

Sounds like you need to do something self-employment based, and home-working, so that you can be totally flexible about what you take on, and you won’t need traditional references. Once you have happy clients, then you’ll be able to use them!

What skills and interests do you have?

Have you spoken to any temp agencies?
As some jobs need to hire very quickly, for eg to cover in the event of illness, they are more likely to take a chance on you as long as you come across reasonably well/have good character references.

Would the volunteering roles accept character references? They must have come across situations before where the candidate hasn't worked, I know I used to when I worked in recruitment. You could ask a family friend or DR to write a reference for you.

26k is not good money.
Can you work two days a week?

Are you in contact with any of your colleagues from the 90s? If so, would they provide you with a reference? I got a job in 2019 and had previously been self-employed. For various reasons, I didn't want to use my self-employed contacts as a reference but I was able to use my colleagues from my last job which I left in 2002. I had also done some volunteering and used a contact from that as my second reference. Good luck OP!

I agree, most voluntary positions will accept character references. Worth asking.

References can be personal references too. I've done references for people in the past.

But yeah, something from home, freelancing would be good.

Stuff I've dabbled in in the past inc web building, writing - fiction and non-fiction, photoshop, and design. There's a big market on Fiverr for people wanting eBook covers and flyers designed and it's not a hard skill to learn.

Udemy have some relatively cheap design and photoshop courses.

Babysitting as an evening job?

Home working would be absolutely ideal. Unfortunately my tenancy doesn't let me run a business from my home so that's out.

Interests wise, not much really. I read a lot, I'm learning a couple of languages, I play a musical instrument (badly!). I love vintage clothes and history. I don't really have any skills as such. Gosh I sound completely uninteresting!

What about something like volunteering for CAB as an advisor ? They would consider anyone with a disability and make adaptions and the training is great. You could learn how to help people with disability benefit forms etc and would have first hand experience of disability.

I don't have any references unfortunately - this is a major issue but I'm not sure how to fix it.

I thought it was decent? DH is quite senior (and he loves his job, it's also something I'd really like to do).

Yes I could work two days, but I worry about letting people down if I have a flare and have to call in sick. Also of course I understand employers don't want people who are likely to do that regularly.

Thank you!

No, the company I worked for last has long since closed and I'm not in touch with anyone I worked with. I moved to a different city in the late 90s and lost touch with almost everyone. The one lady I did stay in touch with and was my referee when I applied for volunteering roles in the 00s has sadly died.

You need to train in something computer based. Bookkeeping, programming, office type work.There are tons of options to work entirely remotely at a computer, lots of possibility of part time and self employment.

Another option is phone based customer service etc which these days can also be done from home.

I'm not trying to nitpick here but how can your H be senior and on 26k

When you are looking for work don't accept too little.

I think references are way less of a deal than skills and qualifications. There are not many places who will take on an older inexperienced employee and train them because the return on their investment in training you up is less.

You need to get some skills or qualifications. Prince2 project management course is another good option.

Op you mention some studying. Was it at a university? As you can ask your tutors for a reference or access their careers service.

These are really good ideas! I was a published writer in my teens, so that's a possibility. I'd not considered that. I don't have a computer so web design etc isn't something I could do, but writing is a definite possibility! I'd love to get back into that.

26k is low pay. Minimum wage is just under 20k, 20k is only a rung or two above that.

Unfortunately my tenancy doesn't let me run a business from my home so that's out.

Surely that doesn't mean any form of self-employment just kinds that would involve clients visiting your home?

I've applied for loads of CS wfh roles - I never get past the first hurdles, mainly because I can't supply references. That's the real sticking point.

Can you go on disability allowance?
What are the flare ups?

Do you have to take to bed? It does sound hard.

Can your H write you a reference!!

This is a brilliant idea, thank you. I hadn't even considered this. I'll have a look at their website.

You should consider getting a cheap/refurbished computer. Most decent jobs, especially work from home, will require some digital skills.

God I'm amazed you need references I just thought nowhere did that any more. I'm in a high paid senior role and didnt have to give any!!