To really really want/need a job

[MoreThanAFeeIing]

I haven't worked since the 90s when I had DD. The original plan was for me to be a SAHM until she was in high school, and in the meantime I studied and did some volunteering.

However, massive spanner in the works, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness 15 years ago which has left me unable to get out of bed some days, much less do a day's work. I'm also on medication which has nasty side effects, so I'm ill for a few days a week with that too. My illness can be unpredictable - I can be in moderate pain for a week, say, then have a massive flare which knocks me for six for another week.

So. If I haven't worked for almost three decades, I'm in my 50s, I'm disabled, I have no references or recent experience - how on earth do I go about getting a job? I've applied for so many things but as soon as I ask for references I'm up shit creek. There's so many jobs I can't do anyway - for example, retail is out, as is anything I where I need to be on my feet. And it would have to be part time, and I'll need time off for hospital appointments (I have them every few weeks). I've applied to all my local charity shops for voluntary roles to beef up my naked CV, but they all need references. Which I don't have.

It's been ok up til now - DH is on a good wage, about £26k, so we've coped, but things are starting to get really tight. I feel awful that he's the only earner and I'm unable to contribute.

I don't know if there's any advice for someone in my situation but if there is, please share. Mainly though I think I'm just venting at how frustrating it all is.

26k is entry level in most industries, so I’m struggling to imagine any job role where someone senior would be on this kind of money.

That aside, you’ve already ruled out self employment, working in any job )whether full time or part time) which requires references, no retail… etc etc… I can’t see that there’s realistically much left you will be able to do to be completely honest.

Maybe try telephone volunteering of some kind? Samaritans, or similar?

If you did some training it would have the added advantage that can use your college tutor as a reference

Do they have community employment schemes in the uk?
They are a great way back in to the work place.

Credits for contrib pension. 20£ more than job seekers

I think you should go on q means tested job seekers allowance for a while then you will be eligible for various initiatives and schemes to get u back in to work.

I was ten years looking after dc then I did a "CE" scheme, got sw + a bit extra for 20 hours work.
They trained me in excel advanced and payroll and I got a job.

It's very hard to get back in to the workplace after a long stint at home looking after yr children.

You can use personal references if you haven’t worked in a long time. A tutor from a course, a neighbour, friend. They will know from your application that they will be character references and that's ok. It's when people only can provide character references and they do have work history that I would be concerned from a HR perspective.

Some really brilliant ideas here, thank you all

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💐

Character references = neighbours, friends, community figures who know you (school PTA if you did anything for your kids schools, even).
Character references are not professional references :)

I think you might be a bit literal and rigid in your interpretation of things? For instance, as many PP have said, “references” (especially for volunteering) doesn’t have to = work/paid employment references.

my tenancy doesn't let me run a business from my home
And this stipulation in a tenancy agreement is usually to prevent you using the premises as a ‘place of business’ e.g. running a service from it that clients attend, like childminding or hairdressing, or storing goods and inventory etc. It wouldn’t prevent you being self-employed from home if you were doing copywriting, or being a virtual assistant or similar.

I agree, at one point all I had was character references but I hadn't worked for a decade.

My children's headmaster said I was never late to drop off or pick up and that I had volunteered over the years with fundraisers and reading groups for the junior classes.
I got a job with that.

Look at a programme called Re-Work - they’ll be able to help you work out what’s best for you

This- after I was made redundant I worked freelance in my field of work from my rented home. It was fine to register myself as self employed here- just not to provide services like childminding from here!

I haven’t read the full thread so apologies if someone else has mentioned it but on the money matters section here there is a make £10 a day thread, but there are people on there making way more than that. I had a massive slump in my industry in 2019/2020 and I made £1000 a month with a company called appen that was recommended on there. It’s all home computer based, most of the projects ask you to commit to 20/15/20 hours a week but no set times you can work when you want. No references or experience needed. I paid my DDs school fees for a year doing it. The only reason I stopped is because my industry is crazy busy again now. There are various other options on there as well.

Look a computer is not optional. You really have to get one. However shorty it might be. There are a million free training courses online. You'd pay back the cost of the computer really quickly.

Get all your it skills up to scratch. Then get a remote PA gig or something similar.

I'm 51. Retrained last year. All but one course I did was free. In a new job/career now. I live in France. Boss is in Poland. Company is global.

Just making dinner, sorry! Quick catch up while it's in the oven...

Re character references, I don't have any friends/family (neither does DH) so there's nobody I can ask really.

are there any charities in your area that run "get back into work" courses or job clugs? might be worth a look.
I don't think it's a mandatory provision, so again dependent on area, but my local council has employability coaches - a friend worked as one. They help you be realistic about what you could do, or aspire to, will negotiate with potential employers on your behalf, help with CVs and applications.

I have a tablet type thing but I can't afford a 'proper' computer. DH wfh but his employer has supplied his computer which is used solely for his work.

However if I can make a bit of money from writing, for example, I'll put it into a computer fund. Having one would make everything a lot easier!

Very useful, I shall look into this. I seem to remember seeing a poster for something like this run by our council.

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I'm not eligible for any benefits as DH works.

I applied for PIP a few years ago but didn't get it.

I had a similar situation and I've just got a job,
I would recommend studying or doing some self employed stuff or both as other posters have mentioned and then use that to move forward into a job. The self employment massively helped as 8 was able to give proof of working type thing as a reference and helped fill out my very empty cv.

Look a computer is not optional

I agree - especially if self employed is a possibility - someone mentioned writing earlier, which you were keen on; people aren't going to be looking for hand written documets - and how are you going to find out about opportunities?

I needed a laptop earlier in the year (main one sent back to manufacturer for repair) I bought an unknown brand (coda) from Laptops direct, about £100 including a years microsoft office. I use it tons more than my Dell now.

I have rheumatoid arthritis. Yes, I have to go to bed when it's really bad. I can't walk very far most days and it's always painful to walk anywhere. It's in my feet, hands, knees and elbows. Also the fatigue is fairly constant.

I inject medication weekly for it - for a day or two after I feel sick, have an upset stomach, migraine and general bleurgh feeling.

It can be hard. I've been able to manage ok at home (being able to rest when I need to and so on) and I admit working is a scary prospect. But time to pull up my big girl pants and get on with it!

26k is almost minimum wage, sorry totally off tangent but why did you think that was a good wage out of interest?

Congratulations on your job!

Do you mind me asking what sort of thing you did re self employment?

As PPs have said, there's a chance I've taken my 'no self employment' tenancy clause a little too literally - I shall phone the council tomorrow to check.

you need to get CAB to help you reapply for PIP

yes I was going to suggest CAB, you can volunteer just a few hours per week and it's a nice place to work.

26k not a good wage? Haha! Round here most 'ordinary ' jobs are minimum wage to 21k ish unless it is skilled or management.