To really really want/need a job

[MoreThanAFeeIing]

I haven't worked since the 90s when I had DD. The original plan was for me to be a SAHM until she was in high school, and in the meantime I studied and did some volunteering.

However, massive spanner in the works, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness 15 years ago which has left me unable to get out of bed some days, much less do a day's work. I'm also on medication which has nasty side effects, so I'm ill for a few days a week with that too. My illness can be unpredictable - I can be in moderate pain for a week, say, then have a massive flare which knocks me for six for another week.

So. If I haven't worked for almost three decades, I'm in my 50s, I'm disabled, I have no references or recent experience - how on earth do I go about getting a job? I've applied for so many things but as soon as I ask for references I'm up shit creek. There's so many jobs I can't do anyway - for example, retail is out, as is anything I where I need to be on my feet. And it would have to be part time, and I'll need time off for hospital appointments (I have them every few weeks). I've applied to all my local charity shops for voluntary roles to beef up my naked CV, but they all need references. Which I don't have.

It's been ok up til now - DH is on a good wage, about £26k, so we've coped, but things are starting to get really tight. I feel awful that he's the only earner and I'm unable to contribute.

I don't know if there's any advice for someone in my situation but if there is, please share. Mainly though I think I'm just venting at how frustrating it all is.

Did you get any help with your PIP application? If not then Citizens Advice or your local authority welfare rights team may be able to help.

DH says it is, I assumed he was right?!

He's worked at his company for 11 years and has been promoted several times. He's quite senior now, he's a about two rungs from the top of the ladder. I think those at the very top in his office are on about £40k. DH's salary band is up to £30k, which he will hopefully be on in a few years (unless he gets promoted again first).

Tablet should be enough to start selling on Etsy. May be have a look to see what sorts of things people make and sell. There's lots of vintage clothes resellers too.

You only need to register with HMRC after you start making over a certain amount.

Really crappy things tbh! Appen as mentioned by PP, transcription work on freelancing websites etc lots of things from the earn £10 thread, lots of it didn't even pay close to minimum wage, but I explained all the skills I used in both interview and on the cv and I just submitted my invoices and self assessment proof (with the numbers blacked out so they couldn't see how little I was earning!) as proof as I said they couldn't give me references as huge companies and its self employment.
It was terrible, crap, barely paid anything but it was the magical door to the promised land of employment after so so so many years with the same problem of not really anyone to give a personal reference and no job history.

I can type on my tablet (it has a keyboard attachment) so no worries there. Also can look for opportunities etc on it.

Exactly! Same where we are.

Definitely 100% reapply for PIP or appeal if you’re still within the window. I have a rare form of arthritis & every single time, I get turned down, appeal, and get it plus the backdated amount. This has been ongoing for 7 years since I was first diagnosed. I have to be reassessed annually usually- last time I was turned down, appealed, and then during the appeal given a higher rate than I expected and extended to 2 years instead of one.

it is a hassle especially as next year when it’s up I will have to go through the whole rigmarole yet again but worth it, the money makes a big difference to me & DD.

@MoreThanAFeeIing I've pm'd you.

Most higher ed college lecturers are only on £27-33k

most teachers I know with years of experience are only in £29/30k

What about agency work where they ring you fairly last minute for shifts but you can decline if you're unwell (but won't get paid).
This could be hospitality, caring, basic office roles or something random.

Not really your question but If your husband really is that skilled and senior he should be look for a job elsewhere that pays him for his skill and experience. 26k around here is not much more than entry level (and yes i am NE not London)

We're in the north too, it's definitely an ok wage where we are.

He loves his job and definitely has no interest in looking for another one, even if it did pay more.

There’s probably some other voluntary opportunities that won’t require references. Perhaps through a local church, library or hospital? Do you have a Voluntary Council / Service locally?

If you’re on social media then Facebook etc can be a good place to look for local voluntary opportunities.

Anything at all that you can do for a little while would be good in order to get a reference, plus a bit of experience.

What? It’s way above minimum wage.

£26k in the north of England isn’t bad tbh. And housing is a lot cheaper than down South.

Can you drive? Could you do casual taxi driving?

What about in a library?

@MoreThanAFeeIing I do have to agree with a PP that £26k isn't great. It's only £5k more than I was on as an apprentice. I'm surprised he's senior and on well below the national mean average salary (£36k) or regular average (£31k).

He should ask for a raise.

There are a lot of remote jobs you can do from home now that wouldn't be classed as a business. On Indeed.com you can search for remote jobs.

On the references thing... honestly I'd just lie. Give a mates number and ask them to pretend to be a former employer/character reference? It's not ideal but I'm not sure what else you could do.

It's good that you've posted here. Sounds like you've been taking a lot too much on trust and don't have a clear perspective in many ways. The running a business from home clause is just one example, and DH's wage benchmarking is another. Saying you have no friends/family suggests you've not got good sounding boards for what's normal/expected these days, so you're potentially putting effort into the wrong places.

For a start, you should apply for PIP again and appeal if/when they turn you down. There's a ton of threads on here about it or you can start your own to get specific help on the process. There may well be other benefits you can get so check out entitled to and don't assume the worst or take no for an answer. The bar changes all the time and you need to fight for yourself or no one else will.

Agree that you need a computer, even if it's just a keyboard for your tablet. Any wfh job will require that most likely. Didn't your DC have them for school? Can your DC help out now? You say you've no family but you gave up work to raise some so can't they help you out now, even if it's only negotiating the system?

References - you just can't accept that this is the brick wall in the way you have. Young people don't have references. Immigrant workers don't have them. If you have the moxie, you can get past that hurdle. I'm not talking about specific applications, but more about a mindset. Never mind not wanting to let people down or whatever. Cross that bridge when you come to it. You'll never get to it unless you reframe what you have to offer and what you're entitled to in a more positive way. Start with that, fake it till you make it, and good luck with it all!

Apply again for PIP and ESA. You should get it if you are affected as badly as you say. Appeal if you don't get it.
You'll be ok to work from a computer at home - if it's a council tenancy they just want to make sure what you do isn't a breach of planning and/or annoying to neighbour.

Love that people are so focussed on the salary. I’m a senior manager - on 27k. If I look for the same role within the nearest 30 miles none pay more than 30k. Difference is - our 4 bed detached house here in the NE was under 200k, I have a 10 min commute and dh also brings in similar.

high 20s are a standard management wage in that there North

No you don’t. You sound very mindfully active - languages and music are utterly beyond me! It does sound like a ‘job’ as such is a bit of a stretch for you flexibility wise. Can the job enter help with experience or web-design courses or something if that ilk?

What about flipping clothes from charity shops/boot sales/Facebook MP on vintages sites, if you’re good at that? Not a steady wage, but total flexibility (which might be more important). Are your languages good enough to tutor, even just kids?

‘Companion’ or virtual PA work? There’s a £10 a day thread with surveys and the like on, maybe they could help a bit? I’ve been advised video editing is in high demand (but my Mac has bloody died, so I haven’t tried it yet)

Good luck. You sound so down about it, I really hope you find something that can work for you soon.

Perhaps check if your local fe college offers any free courses for people looking to get back into work?

Sorry just seen you don't have any friends or family to ask/lie or provide character references or own a computer.

I won't lie. You're in a very tough spot. Do you have any computer literacy?

Not what you asked but when was your last review for your Rheumatoid Arthritis? Have you tried different medications? It sounds like you are really suffering with it. There may be other options that would control it better. If you’re not already seeing your consultant regularly I would be asking to do so.