To ask for the good points to having a boy?

[Greentartanbow01]

Please could I have measured responses, I absolutely know that ultimately a healthy baby is all that matters.

I’m due a c section with my first baby next week. We don’t know the sex.

It took us a long time to get here and we never thought we’d be able to have a child, I’ve had a pretty rough pregnancy- diagnosed with many different things and had threatened first and second trimester miscarriage, plus pre-term 3rd trimester labour. Am so relieved and pleased to have made it to the gestation I am now.

In all honesty though, because of all the drama throughout this pregnancy, I haven’t really stopped and thought about the baby at the end of it 😳

In my head, the whole way through it’s been a girl. In every daydream that I’ve dared let myself have, it’s been a girl. I’ve always imagined myself with a daughter, never a son. I’m much better with girls than I am boys when I’m around other people’s children and I’m going to be honest here and say that I do have a gender preference and that is for a girl.

DH genuinely doesn’t have a preference and I believe him.

Please don’t get me wrong, I’m terrified of the baby not being healthy and I know that a healthy baby is the ultimate goal, sex really doesn’t matter and I know I’ll love my baby whatever, but I know if it’s a boy, it is probably going to take me a few hours to get my head around and mange the ‘disappointment’ (if that would be the word) in all honesty.

Part of the reason I’m less keen on having a boy is because of the saying that I keep seeing trotted out on here, about a daughter being a wife but a son only being a son until he finds a wife. In all honesty, that’s definitely been the case with me and my sibling, DB just doesn’t have the relationship with my mother that I do. They’re close enough but he sees a lot more of his wife’s mother/ family and tbh it’s pretty much the same for most males that I know.

Could posters please reassure me that that isn’t always the case and tell me why they love having a son/ sons?

It really doesn't matter what you're like around other peoples male children, this baby will be yours, when they're babies and you're bonding the sex is barely even evident (a part from getting sprayed with wee when nappy changing :p ) by the time they're a bit older, you won't even remember that you were worried about this I'll bet!

End of the day, don't think about this baby about being male or female, they're their own little person with their personality.

But just since you asked, I have one of each, both young adults now, my son is 18 and we're still great friends, we go to the cinema and for Pizza together still most weeks on our own, it's kind of our thing, he loved Superhero's as a child and we've always gone to see those films together and had long conversations about "who would win in a fight" etc :p So yeah, have a thing, be interested in what he's doing, you'll be fine, sons are great, as are daughters

I found out my second pregnancy what I was having and found out I was having a boy (had a girl already) and I did feel initially disappointed and coming out of the scan going oh god a boy I wanted a girl. But really got over that really quickly & feel embarrassed now that I thought that. My son is wonderful and we've a great relationship - he is 13 now and he was the snuggliest baby and child. I only knew girls from having one & really thought a boy would be different but he is really really amazing and makes me so happy.

I have 3 children. 2 DD (12 and 5) and DS nearly 7. Sons are honestly amazing. He is so kind, caring,loving, so sweet natured. He picks flowers for me, writes me love notes, constantly tells me dinosaur and animal facts and asks me random and obscure questions I don't know the answer too. He is such a deep thinker and has such a beautiful heartm Of course he has his moments like all children do and knows exactly how to push his sisters buttons but boys are the most beautiful blessings (and way less rudeness and attitude that girls)

So glad l had boys.... I'm shit at doing my own hair, let alone someone else's.

I have one of each. I had major gender disappointment initially when I found out I was having a boy, but I almost can't believe that now! I adore my boy and he is a gentle, sensitive soul, who loves Lego and superhero's but also loves spending time just me and him, loves cuddles and has already told me he's never leaving home. I get the sense as my kids get older that it doesn't matter if they're girls or boys, if you are close you will remain so. A lot of our friends spend time with their parents all the time and chose to live close by because they're tight knit families - I chose not to because my family aren't a positive support for me - that's nothing to do with who's men and women but the home they came from. My boy is my little clone - my daughter is much more like her dad - and while I adore them both, I'd say I am more in tune with my boy because our personalities are so similar.

Head hugs- the hugs you get when they are a foot taller than you and they cuddle your head.

DS is an only child, so I can’t say what was good about having a boy, just what has been great about having him.

I’ve learned a lot about his favourite sports, I’ve learned to enjoy watching him develop his sporting skills. I’ve loved watching him learn about topics which fascinate him: from dinosaurs to obscure parts of history. I’ve been privileged to take him to places to expand that knowledge.

We’ve jet skied, abseiled and kayaked. We’ve chosen books together, danced around madly, picked outfits for important life events and chosen pets. We’ve argued over films, I’ve been asked advice about friends and girlfriends.

The thing is…as I write it down, there’s nothing there that I couldn’t have done with a daughter. I’ve spent longer on erections and wet dreams than periods and bras, but other than that…?

I have a boy and a girl, and I just don't see their sex, I just see them for who they are. My girl is very 'Tom boy' and my boy more quiet and sensitive, once they are here you will just fall in love with them as an individual.

I have 3 brothers, all very close to my family and my parents. Probably more so than me

I think I'm sometimes closer with my (pfb) son than my two daughters!
They are all wonderful

boys feel like they are relatively harder work as toddlers until about 6-7 and girls easier as toddlers and primary age become harder mid way through secondary school ...!

They are both wonderful though

DS is absolutely fantastic

So that's also the anecdotal experience of all my friends who have at least one of each and me- boys are by far easier teenagers - less mean & cutting than girls as teenagers ! You just have to buy them a few consonants when they mumble as a teenage boy between 13-15... and remind them to wash. They don't have any of the emotional rollercoaster drama that teen girls and their friends have nor the arguing with mum stuff - my DDs can go on and on for hours!!!

I think each child has gone through a phase they are more cute and loving and another stage they have been harder work and less close- no matter what sex

Good luck!!

Long term my son will clearly be a close to me as I suspect my Youngest DD is or will be, it's the middle one that's the rebel and she wasn't until she hit 12-13. Age 15 argh....!!!

My DS by far was the huggiest and snuggliest

Although DD3 is now the cuddliest but she's youngest child

Thing is it'll be a lot about their personality and only a bit about their sex and a bit nurture of how you
Parent /what you put in

That's very well said!

My DSs are amazing. They are cuddly, chat to me all the time, are always telling me how much they love me and are just genuinely amazing people. I had so many people tell me stupid horror stories of boys and for me they haven't been true at all. I have a DD aswell and I love her with all my heart but we aren't particularly close. We actually clash quite a lot and she is all for her dad and not for me at all!

I also always imagined having a daughter. I have a son.

Honestly, once the baby is born you just love them for who they are as a little person, regardless of their sex.
I can't imagine having a different child right now. If I ever decide to have a second baby, I wouldn't mind having another boy.

I think life is easier for boys too, they don't have to deal with all the crap that girls have to deal with. (If that makes you feel better about having a boy).

It says a lot about how we view boys in our society that OP has to ask this question.

I - much to my own shock - found myself with a touch of gender disappointment at our 20 week scan with DS (we have a DD and I just couldn't imagine a boy).
Anyway, I got over it and it's great. He is fab. Of course it's hard to say what's personality, what's age and what's gender, but in a way he is loads easier and more affectionate than DD. He is definitely my number one fan and we get on great. He also doesn't insist on hours of teacher or princess role play like DD used to which is a real bonus. His interactions with friends also seem less complicated so far.

But, like I said, it's hard to see what's personality. I don't really think of my kids by their gender. The thing is that most parents end up loving their children just the way they are (gender or otherwise), and you are worrying yourself entirely unnecessarily.

I always wanted a girl... Until I had my son.

My god the love I have for that boy I cannot even explain.

Boy or girl it's amazing op.

You get the child you’re given. They may or may not fit masculine or feminine stereotypes. Your son might want to do ballet and your daughter might be a footballer. Either one might grow up to be gay or trans. I don’t think you can make assumptions about what you child will be like. Although personally I wouldn’t want an adult child clinging to my apron strings anyway!

My DS is just so lovely, like PP I don't see sex (I also have one of each) I see that my DC are intelligent and curious about the world, loving and wild. My DS is such a joy, so snuggly and adores me. Who knows what they will be like as they grow but I think if you show love, care and joy they will want to visit you regardless of sex.

Good luck OP, your baby will adore you!

Having a son. That's all. They're the best. I have two.

Every person is unique and perfect in their own special way.

I have a boy and always assumed I'd have a girl as that's how it ran in my family. I couldn't be happier with my little man.

He's been an absolute pleasure from birth. I've had no fuss from him (other than usual teething/leaps).

As others have said, see it simply as a baby and not a gender.

My brother is very close to our mother and sees her as much as I do.

My sons are my absolute joy.

Make the relationship you want to have with your child and don’t follow the stereotypes.

I have a boy and girl. They both do meet the stereotype of their genders, I am not sure whether that is naturally them or it is something I have co-created.

Anyway, whilst my DD is my soul.. she’s sensitive and thoughtful. Backs me up no matter what. Kind and generous. Empathic and compassionate to others. She is also very cheeky and stubborn.

My son is my heart. He looks at me like no one else is important. He showers me in hugs and kisses and I feel so lucky to have him. He loves cars, trains and dinosaurs and is totally oblivious to others 😂 I just love him

They say ; if a womans first child is a girl she most likely needed maturity and if it's a boy she most likely needed to know the real meaning of love.

Boys will love you with everything they have.

but I know if it’s a boy, it is probably going to take me a few hours to get my head around and mange the ‘disappointment’ (if that would be the word) in all honesty.

This is the reason I decided to find out sex in advance 😂
I wanted to handle disappointment in privacy and in advance, and not when the doctors hand me the baby and I'm like "What? I wanted a giiiirl! 😭"

That saying is there for a reason. It is the truth. If you do your job correctly your son should absolutely integrate into another family and wife becomes number one. This is normal and healthy. It means you’ve raised an adult son not an manchild. I do believe adult daughters stick around for longer in your old age and you can be closer to your maternal grandchildren. This dynamic is seen across many different cultures.

To me it doesn’t really matter. I had kids because I wanted kids, not for them to really take care of me in my old age. I have two sons and one daughter. They are all simply amazing and unique . Good luck with it all.

Seriously, if you're this fussed about it just find out! If it's something you care about to the point it won't be a 'bice' surprise either way, and you'll need time to get used to the idea - give yourself that time!

Go get a private scan and find out the sex. Then if it is a boy, you have some time to adjust to that - before he's born and will need your total commitment, not for you to be 'getting your head around' something that never had to be a shock in the first place.