To ask for the good points to having a boy?

[Greentartanbow01]

Please could I have measured responses, I absolutely know that ultimately a healthy baby is all that matters.

I’m due a c section with my first baby next week. We don’t know the sex.

It took us a long time to get here and we never thought we’d be able to have a child, I’ve had a pretty rough pregnancy- diagnosed with many different things and had threatened first and second trimester miscarriage, plus pre-term 3rd trimester labour. Am so relieved and pleased to have made it to the gestation I am now.

In all honesty though, because of all the drama throughout this pregnancy, I haven’t really stopped and thought about the baby at the end of it 😳

In my head, the whole way through it’s been a girl. In every daydream that I’ve dared let myself have, it’s been a girl. I’ve always imagined myself with a daughter, never a son. I’m much better with girls than I am boys when I’m around other people’s children and I’m going to be honest here and say that I do have a gender preference and that is for a girl.

DH genuinely doesn’t have a preference and I believe him.

Please don’t get me wrong, I’m terrified of the baby not being healthy and I know that a healthy baby is the ultimate goal, sex really doesn’t matter and I know I’ll love my baby whatever, but I know if it’s a boy, it is probably going to take me a few hours to get my head around and mange the ‘disappointment’ (if that would be the word) in all honesty.

Part of the reason I’m less keen on having a boy is because of the saying that I keep seeing trotted out on here, about a daughter being a wife but a son only being a son until he finds a wife. In all honesty, that’s definitely been the case with me and my sibling, DB just doesn’t have the relationship with my mother that I do. They’re close enough but he sees a lot more of his wife’s mother/ family and tbh it’s pretty much the same for most males that I know.

Could posters please reassure me that that isn’t always the case and tell me why they love having a son/ sons?

Everyone always wants a girl errr no.

I suggest you get a scan done before baby arrives I suggest you read the thread, or at least the OP's posts!

Congratulations OP 💐 amazing for you x

I had first 2 girls and then a boy. My boy is just beautiful, he loves me so much, he is funny, sweet, interested intently in weird things and I just want to smile everytime I see him. Its easy to parent him whereas I find with the girls there is a lot more angst (although on paper they are better behaved). I don't have a preference as to gender but I can confirm there are lots of lovely things about having a boy.

I have two girls and one boy

I don't think it divides out as that old wives tale says as it very much depends on the individuals regardless of their gender. My cousins with both sons and daughters including married ones also are very close to their grown married boys. As long as you welcome and respect the partners in their lives- which is key i think.

The girls are very different to each other. Can't say I'm close at all to my middle girl who's now a new adult and at Uni for years, although we were extremely close until she hit teenage years.

My youngest DD still a teen is very close to me...

I'm very close to my son, eldest, aways have been even though he's a grown adult living away from home. He is independent as the eldest but has always been very close to his old mum (me!) and I can't see that changing.

In terms of who is hardest to bring up, my boy was harder as a toddler but far easier albeit active and kicked aged 5 onwards. My girls were easier as toddlers but boy oh boy wait til they hit teenage years! It's an emotional roller coaster with teen girls and complex friendship dramas they have! Give me a teenage boy who mumbles and maybe doesn't shower as much as he should for a couple years any day over the "I hate you mum you're ruining my life!!" (When they are doing something very Ill thought out and unsafe) My boys answer is always "fair nuff mum, what do I need to do to make it ok for you?" And he does it!! That might be an order of birth thing but I suspect it's their personalities and hormones.

Sorry this

far easier albeit active and kicked

Was meant to say far easier and lively

Congratulations OP!!

Yes , glad to hear you realised, you'd love your baby whatever gender

Good luck with the happy changing (put a wet wipe over his w*lly when you change happy, pee in the eye is no fun " and be careful as boys tend to make bigger movements so your far more likely to get poked in the eye or head butted by a lively growing boy baby than a girl baby (I swear I needed American football style protective gear!) but that may just be my DCs personalities and strength.

Oh sorry you had a girl! Whoops!

Anyway glad you are happy !

How about you’ll start daydreaming about a son in advance?
there are lots that can be said about boys, but that might not apply to your child.same as not all girls are the same.
mu brother and his wife (together and individually) are spending a lot of time with my parents - with hers, not so much.
it all depends on you.
best of luck!!!

It's all down to you, OP. I have one of each. I really wanted the second to be another boy because I had such a lovely time with DS that I was worried I wouldn't know what to do with a girl.

My DS is now a young teen. He is excellent company, still cuddles me and sometimes holds my hand, cooks and bakes, is pretty level-headed. He doesn't divulge his every thought like his younger sister, but then I doubt she'll still be doing that in a few years' time.

My manager still regularly hangs out with her adult son, sometimes also with his girlfriend. I hope to be the same.

I am not close to my mum because she's not someone I particularly want to be close to. My highest priority in life is to have the kind of relationship with my DC that means they still enjoy my company when I'm not just their financial support!

I hope the rest of the pregnancy and birth go smoothly for you.

I had a boy first (then a girl) and the bond I have with my son is incredible - boys really do love their mums, and he is still very huggy and affectionate now he's nearly 12. I see a lot of my personality in him and we have a real laugh together. On a practical side, he slept 12 hrs a night early on, ate everything, hardly ever cried, and was generally a lot easier than my daughter!

I understand where your coming from with the wife/son comment. I fully believe that it's the way a boy is raised. In particular the male influences. How his dad treats you and his mothers for example. How he prioritises the ladies in his life, will predict how he will be with you when he finds a wife.

My dad wasn't around much. He didn't facilitate much contact with his mum. And my brother doesn't speak to my mum.