To ask for the good points to having a boy?

[Greentartanbow01]

Please could I have measured responses, I absolutely know that ultimately a healthy baby is all that matters.

I’m due a c section with my first baby next week. We don’t know the sex.

It took us a long time to get here and we never thought we’d be able to have a child, I’ve had a pretty rough pregnancy- diagnosed with many different things and had threatened first and second trimester miscarriage, plus pre-term 3rd trimester labour. Am so relieved and pleased to have made it to the gestation I am now.

In all honesty though, because of all the drama throughout this pregnancy, I haven’t really stopped and thought about the baby at the end of it 😳

In my head, the whole way through it’s been a girl. In every daydream that I’ve dared let myself have, it’s been a girl. I’ve always imagined myself with a daughter, never a son. I’m much better with girls than I am boys when I’m around other people’s children and I’m going to be honest here and say that I do have a gender preference and that is for a girl.

DH genuinely doesn’t have a preference and I believe him.

Please don’t get me wrong, I’m terrified of the baby not being healthy and I know that a healthy baby is the ultimate goal, sex really doesn’t matter and I know I’ll love my baby whatever, but I know if it’s a boy, it is probably going to take me a few hours to get my head around and mange the ‘disappointment’ (if that would be the word) in all honesty.

Part of the reason I’m less keen on having a boy is because of the saying that I keep seeing trotted out on here, about a daughter being a wife but a son only being a son until he finds a wife. In all honesty, that’s definitely been the case with me and my sibling, DB just doesn’t have the relationship with my mother that I do. They’re close enough but he sees a lot more of his wife’s mother/ family and tbh it’s pretty much the same for most males that I know.

Could posters please reassure me that that isn’t always the case and tell me why they love having a son/ sons?

@ugzbugz yes, but often with legitimate reason - I am one of three girls, raised by my mum and am myself a woman in a very female orientated work place with a lot of female friends. Raising a boy was totally uncharted territory for me and I thought a girl would be easier! Nothing to do with anything insidious!

• Sons tend to adore their mothers very intensely.
• Sons have less emotional drama around age 6-12 when the girls are exploring power struggles and either being, or struggling with, the ‘mean girl’. At school, boys are more interested in who’s fastest/strongest than emotional power struggles, and boys get over arguments faster.
• Boys have less infections (utis etc) and are easier to potty train👌
• As boys grow they are fantastic for carrying heavy objects and reaching high shelves 🤣
• That saying about “daughter for life” is nonsense. Have you never met a woman who doesn’t get on with her mum? There are just as many men who are close to their mums.

@ugzbugz yes, but often with legitimate reason - I am one of three girls, raised by my mum and am myself a woman in a very female orientated work place with a lot of female friends. Raising a boy was totally uncharted territory for me and I thought a girl would be easier! Nothing to do with anything insidious!

I understand OP. I read up on it and there is research that there are differences in parent-child relationships between the sexes. If you want to know you can search this topic in the results from research such as the Family Exchange Studies. However, just because there are population level statistics, doesn't mean at an individual level you and your future child (son) may not have just as close a relationship as some of the posters here.

I have two girls and three boys. So far my DS’s have been much, much easier to handle. I know people always claim boys are a handful but this hasn’t been my experience at all. All three of my DS’s are quiet and gentle (eldest is 12, youngest 2) whereas DD’s (10 and 11) are a totally different kettle of fish. They had the most violent tantrums as toddlers and even up till the age of 6 I’d say. They still have loud outbursts now occasionally although have settled down a lot. They have lots of dramatic fall outs with friends at school a lot and everything is always the end of the world, this definitely never happened with DS. I find them much harder to deal with than I’ve ever found my DS’s.

It’s totally anecdotal and I’m sure plenty of people found the opposite to be true although I do know my friend had a similar experience and has always found her DS much easier than DD. Anyway, boys are great basically and you will just love your baby regardless of sex!

I love being mum to my boy. He probably will be the death of me but I wouldn't change him for the world

TBH OP, even though I have one of each I’m not going to answer your original question.

What I am going to do is to tell you that you whatever sexist stereotype you have of a what a boy and a girl means - leave it at the door. There’s nothing a girl could give you that a boy couldn’t. Unless you’re talking about very superficial stuff like pretty dresses and ringleting hair - which would be fine on a boy but would probably get judgement from others - boys and girls are the same. Your child is whoever you make them. My DD lives in black clothes, a baseball cap and is forever carrying round a football. My son’s favourite shoes are unicorns boots from the ‘girls’ section Clark’s. They won’t turn into whatever stereotype you have in mind I’m afraid.

I think we often lean towards preference of a daughter because that is what we can directly relate our own experience to. I can envisage a daughter because I AM one.

It often has nothing to do with gender stereotypes.

And I agree - find the sex out now!

Yes, I sometimes feel people on MN don’t like little boys and it makes me sad for them!

Shame we have to continuosly keep justifying whats so great re having a boy on here.
Notice all the feminists are very quiet on this topic, God forbid OP questioned having a girl, that would be completey different story, but as they are so fond of telling us, its a Mans world after all, never mind huge percentage of Mums being deeply disapointed at gender reveal.

I have 5 boys and I find the only thing that's guaranteed to be different for boys and girls for the first 10 years or so is their name. I've got one boy who wears stripey leggings and loves unicorns, 2 who adore music, 1 who is lego and star wars obsessed, it really varies. And when they get older you can send them with their Dad into the male toilets/changing rooms when you go out and you can have a wee/get changed in peace!

I have two little boys. They are the snuggliest bugs in the world. They are so much fun. Completely wild and full of energy, but really close to me and DH, and to each other. I can’t imagine not having a boy, and I really thought that I wanted girls.

I'm not close with my mother at all so having a daughter doesn't necessarily mean you'd be closer than if you had a son.

Height, reaching things,
Strong, opening things.
Friendships are a lot less complicated.
The world is made for default males thus they will be safer.

And sometimes I wonder if the two things are related? I don’t know but it’s a thought.

I just think society would be a better place if we could drop the stereotypes.

You get the child that you're given. Try and turn the question inwards - what do YOU think having a girl would bring that having a son wouldn't? The wifre / son thing is bullshit, and anyway you have about three decades between that moment and now.

Stop looking for ways for your child to be inadequate.

They are all unique, treasure yours whoever they turn out to be.

I never saw myself with boys but have 1 girl and 2 boys and I love them all equally but had I had a fourth I would have been hoping for another boy.
My boys are sensitive but not dramatic, they compliment me if I have new clothes, they are loving and thoughtful. When I had surgery a few years ago it was my older ds who was 7 and not my 12 year old dd that thought to help me around the house. No matter whether your baby is a boy or girl, you have lots to look forward to.

I was just like you. Same reasons. So I was so happy when I gave birth to a girl.

Second pregnancy, I wanted another girl but was convinced I was expecting a boy. I was right. I did feel a bit strange at first but not for long.

I quickly forgot about their gender. They were THEM. As it happened, my DD Chas much more masculine traits than my boy. They are now adults and although I love them both dearly, I do find that I relate more to my boy than my DD.

Whatever the sex, you can be sure you'll be so in love, it won't matter at all whether it's a boy or girl.

They are funny and loving and give the best cuddles. They are into everything which is brilliant and always want to share their new discovery with you.

I have both girls and boys and my boys bring me just as much joy as my girl just through different ways.

You will love them for their own unique personalities and once they are here you will wonder why you were worried or disappointed about the idea of having a boy .

my boys are far more chill than the girls.

Also, I think that old saying of a son is a son until he finds a wife is bollocks. I think that is only true for mums who don't treat their son's partners with respect etc. he'll only stop being your son if you are sick which I'm sure you aren't OP.

I only have boys so I can't really say what's boy-specific, but having felt the same (only had a sister myself, didn't know many boys, my own experience of being a girl) it honestly doesn't matter once they are here. They are just them and they are lovely.

Are a dick not sick 🤦‍♀️