To ask for the good points to having a boy?

[Greentartanbow01]

Please could I have measured responses, I absolutely know that ultimately a healthy baby is all that matters.

I’m due a c section with my first baby next week. We don’t know the sex.

It took us a long time to get here and we never thought we’d be able to have a child, I’ve had a pretty rough pregnancy- diagnosed with many different things and had threatened first and second trimester miscarriage, plus pre-term 3rd trimester labour. Am so relieved and pleased to have made it to the gestation I am now.

In all honesty though, because of all the drama throughout this pregnancy, I haven’t really stopped and thought about the baby at the end of it 😳

In my head, the whole way through it’s been a girl. In every daydream that I’ve dared let myself have, it’s been a girl. I’ve always imagined myself with a daughter, never a son. I’m much better with girls than I am boys when I’m around other people’s children and I’m going to be honest here and say that I do have a gender preference and that is for a girl.

DH genuinely doesn’t have a preference and I believe him.

Please don’t get me wrong, I’m terrified of the baby not being healthy and I know that a healthy baby is the ultimate goal, sex really doesn’t matter and I know I’ll love my baby whatever, but I know if it’s a boy, it is probably going to take me a few hours to get my head around and mange the ‘disappointment’ (if that would be the word) in all honesty.

Part of the reason I’m less keen on having a boy is because of the saying that I keep seeing trotted out on here, about a daughter being a wife but a son only being a son until he finds a wife. In all honesty, that’s definitely been the case with me and my sibling, DB just doesn’t have the relationship with my mother that I do. They’re close enough but he sees a lot more of his wife’s mother/ family and tbh it’s pretty much the same for most males that I know.

Could posters please reassure me that that isn’t always the case and tell me why they love having a son/ sons?

I have two boys. My 1st pregnancy I knew early on ( silly I know) and I was happy with this. He is a sensitive little soul and quite shy but very cuddly.
Got pregnant again and my pregnancy was so diff. Everyone convinced me I was having a girl. I was so excited because I'd love one of each and I was and still am worried they'll up and leave me totally when I'm old.
Found out i was having a boy. Wont lie i took this hard. Real gender disappointment as well as ohhh will you try for a girl. I got over it and now I can share out their clothes. Youngest is really funny daft in a boy way..poo bums Willie's etc but very sweet and kind. I never get just one cuddle they both pile on.
When I see my friends with girls sat there painting nicely with my two wrestling in the garden in their pants I still feel a bit sad as I've always wanted a daughter but I'm so pleased they are healthy. My boys are 6 ans 8 and husband didnt want anymore I'm now too old

My son is very sweet, sensitive, feeds his dolly, makes me laugh every day and I honestly couldn't imagine him being anything other than himself 🤷🏼‍♀️ I'm pregnant again and I can say honestly I don't care if it's a boy or a girl. Stereotypes are an awful thing. I loved football, hung around with boys, wanted mighty max, didn't play with dolls etc.
Boy or girl, you'll love your child regardless.

I actually think its very common to have a preference. I was the other way around, from the moment I found out I was pregnant I imagined a little boy with dark hair like his dad. He was in every single one of my little daydreams. When we found out at the scan we were actually having a girl (who is now 1 and very blonde!) I was shocked, BUT I can absolutely promise you that when they hand you that baby in the delivery room you won't want them to be anything other than exactly what they are. Which will be perfect, and all yours. All the best OP.

Mmm I have both....my eldest is a boy and I won't lie if he was a girl I belive we'd have a closer relationship. In an ideal world you want one of each but that doesn't always happen so what can you do!
You need to change your mindset a bit if I'm honest my younger the boys are very loving!

They say that obviously when boys go off get girlfriends married have kids that it's the girlfriends mum that has more input which is true I think but boys have a different kind of respect for their mums as well.

Our son used to love both Winnie the Pooh and Spiderman. We went to Build-a-Bear and got a Spiderman costume for his Winnie the Pooh-teddybear. He then played with it while wearing his own Spiderman costume. It was so adorable!

I don't have a specific answer, although I'm father to a boy and two girls, in that order. But maybe this will help...

When the second one was on the way, I was rather hoping it would be a boy. I'm the eldest of a family of boys. I went to an all boys' school. I had a boy already, and that seemed to be going alright. I thought, "I know nothing about female children. I'll be dreadful at being the father of a girl."

Totally wrong. First, turned out that I was the father of a person - one who happened to be female. Second, it turned out that not always knowing quite what to do or how to react is okay. Third, whether you're a man or a woman, you learn a lot about the opposite sex by being parent to one.

So, don't worry. Boy or girl, you'll love the kid, and love being the kid's parent.

Sorry, but I find posts like this pathetic and ridiculous. As long as you have a healthy baby, who the hell cares what sex it is. I didn’t find out sexes of my children prior to birth as it didn’t matter to me. I have 2 amazing sons, but it wouldn’t have made a jot of difference if they were girls. I do hope you have a girl as I’d feel very sorry for any son you gave birth to with the attitude you have.

Simpler wardrobe choices, quick to get ready to go anywhere. I have 6yr old twins. DD is solid high maintenance (I hate doing her hair and everything has to match and so many fcuking accessories). DS is ready in seconds. Most of his wardrobe is mix n match. So easy

Hear, Hear! I have both as well, and they're both amazing people with their own personalities.

at 6 years old? I would say that isn't typical for a 6 year old girl tbh, in fact my son was more fussy about clothes at that age than my daughter

@Astrabees you've made me cry! What a beautiful post. What lucky boys you have. This is the kind of relationship I want with mine.

I have three sons and by the time I was pregnant with the third I was actually more nervous of having a girl than a boy (although obviously I’d have got over it fast!!)
I love my three sons so much, they are all so different in character yet all so loving, thoughtful, curious, affectionate and exciting to be around. My brother is just as close to my mum as my sister and I and equally we’re just as close to my dad as he is.
A lot of the mums in my eldest son’s class seem to be struggling with their daughters now as opposed to the ones with boys. I know this will balance out eventually but I think both sexes have their periods of pulling away and being more challenging.

They're all individuals you'd be better off wishing for a baby that sleeps well than a specific sex.
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This is so very very true.

My partner wanted to find out sex at 20wks so we did. I wouldn't have bothered as made no difference to me. We didn't tell anyone else and I never once referred to the baby as anything other than 'the baby' until he was born. For the first few weeks I was so tired I kept mixing up he/she when talking about him as his sex was honestly the last thing on my mind. He was just a baby of the non-sleeping type 😂
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I didn't have any preference on sex, but I adore my son. He's incredible. Loving, loyal, fun, kind, caring - and very funny. He's 10 and the best company. I didn't have any experience of boys, but when it's your son you just get it. There are some things he does which are more aligned to my husband's interests, but that's fine. Good luck, OP!

We never found out what we were having either time and have one of each, DD then DS two completely different babies, children and adults. Both bring us so much joy. I wanted two children, I didn’t have any thoughts about wanting a girl or a boy. DH did talk about wanting a son and I would say to him - would you rather a healthy girl or a boy with a medical problem - he said that I had a fair point. He was thrilled when our daughter was born and again our son. Our DD says DS is our favourite and DS insists DD is our favourite. I’m so proud of both of them, they both give the best hugs and I have learned so much from them. Whether you have a son or daughter you are blessed, enjoy every moment because before you know it they’re getting ready to leave home. Watch some gender reveal videos on TikTok or YouTube, I’ve never seen a negative reaction and I’m sure if the confetti cloud had been the alternative colour the reaction would have been the same. It doesn’t matter what you have you’ll love your child regardless as you’ve already pointed out. I wish you all the best.

@Greentartanbow01 , I am in a similar position. I have always wanted a girl as I have heard and seen girls tend to be closer to their families when they are adults. I have seen sons visiting their wives’ parents and relatives much more often. Sons usually don’t give as much attention to their mums.

I have given birth to a son, he is going to be 3 years old and he is lovely. I love him as much as I would have loved a daughter. I am just selfishly worried that I am raising him for another family when he gets married - his wife’s parents and relatives.

How does your husband treat his mom and family? I think its about modelling. I have 3 boys, we see DHs Mom (widow) once or twice a week, we see my own once. HE gets her mothers day, birthday and Christmas cards and presents. He and his brother go over and help her when she needs it. DH fixes her PC.

My boys will grow up knowing its normal to be close to your parents I adulthood

I have two boys. I'll admit I wanted DS2 to be a girl! But now I have boys, and will not be having more so will never have a girl, I actually love it! Boys are great fun! I'm learning all about football and swimming and planes and cars despite trying my hardest to get them into pink and nail polish!! It's been a fun journey and I love it!

I'm v close to both my boys and think I always will be. I do think it's a different relationship, but it's a great one! I don't think I'll lose my boys when (if) they marry! I'm sure they'll always call and be happy for a few meet ups! I can't wait to see where their lives take them!! And .. who knows .. maybe they will marry women I can get to know and hang out with!

I understand where you are coming from OP, but boys are great! They really are!! And as far as I can tell from my friends with girls they r a hec of a lot easier to manage and their friendships way less complex, especially in primary school!! ;)

OP back again.

I can confirm I had a girl! I can’t lie, I was relieved when they said congratulations, it’s a girl! But, knowing the absolute love I have for her now, I KNOW I’d have loved the baby just as much if it were a boy, would I be worried about the future slightly, maybe but I’d have embraced having a boy as I’d have just loved the baby.

I have 3 girls (two of whom are teens) and my sister has 3 boys (similar ages).
The boys were physically more challenging when they were little, with bags of energy, and needed to be run off at the park. Mine were happy indoors, playing or doing arts & crafts.
The tide has truly turned now Her boys are much easier as teens, whereas it's the most difficult time of my parenting experience to date. I love my girls but they are so emotionally draining. Also, they're not affectionate at all.
I also work with challenging teens! The boys are more laidback, in my experience.
There are definite advantages to boys!

Oh, I've just seen you had a girl!! Many congratulations!
Wish I'd seen this before posting now

I wanted a girl. Desperately desperately wanted a girl.. I got a boy.. we found out gender at 18 weeks at a private scan
I cried alot, other people also seemed weirdly disappointed (colleagues) though I had never mentioned I wanted a girl

Once he was here though honestly it's not made the blindest bit of difference - he's 9 months old and I love him more than anything - obviously I can't tell you on future years - but I'm not a girly girl myself so that doesn't overly worry me.

Agree with a previous poster though, if I were you I'd get a private scan and see what baby is.. if you think you may be disappointed at a boy it'll give you time to get over it now. Don't spoil it for yourself when baby arrives... its the best thing in the world

It’s sex, not gender.

You treat them exactly the same. I take my son to ballet and we do arts and crafts. You don’t pigeonhole them- and you never, ever let them know you regret not having a child of the opposite sex.

I find your post to be deeply distasteful.

Congratulations 🎊!

Everyone always wants a girl - pretty dresses / close to their mums/ mother and daughter days out etc

yes that can be the case but most of my mates with girls it's not like that at all!!

I have sons all different personalities

I won't tell you what is good about them because you will find out for yourself.

a mother loves thier baby no matter what it's irrelevant what sex they are.

these threads are silly really

I suggest you get a scan done before baby arrives